33 Weeks Single And Scared To Death
6 Replies
|
|
|
|
|
|
I am 31 years old and 33 weeks along and single. I have been having such horrible anxiety for the past 3 weeks every night and i cant sleep at all. My babys daddy left me for his ex girlfriend when I was 2 months and has come back and left again thruout my whole pregnancy. Its been horrible. I never thought he was capable of hurting me the way he has especially being pregnant with his baby. Anyway the last time he came back was the week before Memorial Day so its been over a month, but I cant seem to except that he is gone again back to his girlfriend and I am going to have to really be a single mom. I feel like the last time he was trying to make things work and I was too scared to really trust him because he has betrayed, cheated, verbally abused me and made so many promises and broke them that I was hesitant to jump in and move out with him when he wanted me to. Well because I hesitated he went back to her and does not want me back and says its too late, he tried for a week to get me to move out and because i was unsure that, that was it. Well now I am full of regret and I am terrified now about having this baby which is coming soon and dont know what to do to move on and be happy that I am having a healthy baby and that I have my family and friends to help and support me. I feel like I am not going to make it. i know it sounds stupid but I feel like I wont be able to handle everything that is coming. I tried begging him today to give me another shot and he just shot me down. He acts like he is so much better than me, and my self esteem is gone. I am full of regret and I am hating myself for getting pregnant with such a horrible guy that I am not happy or concentrating on the blessing of the baby that is coming. What is wrong with me? Why do I feel like I cant do this? Why cant I sleep at night? Does anyone have any advice of hope for me cuz I feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Anyway thanks for letting me vent and share. Please help me
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I am so sorry that you are going through this. You can and will do this because above all, this is YOUR baby. I was 17 and single with my first baby and I did it with no job or anything. Everyone feels like they can't handle it. I think that's pretty normal to have that anxiety. Don't have regrets. Something great is coming out of this. I have been right where you are .Don't beg him for anything. He doesn't deserve to be in that baby's life or yours. There is light, Christine. Believe me. He should be begging you. If he is as big a loser as you say, you should be happy that he is out of your life. I will get worse with him, it seems and you are better than that. You will be alright without him. You have been so far, right? Keep your head up. When you see that beautiful baby, you will forget all about him. Good Luck.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thank you so much ASA for your response. It helped me so much to hear your positive advice early this morning cuz I couldnt sleep thinking of the a-hole. Im really sick of thinking about him and what he doing and who is with. I waste so much of my energy on someone who doesnt care about me or the baby. I really hope that things will get better. I really want to get over him and focus on the important happy stuff. Cuz really what he has put me thru is not right and I know deep down I deserve better than him and so does my baby girl, i just get stuck on stupid in my head with fear that I need him and that no one else will love me. I really need to change my way of thinking and stop blaming and kicking myself in the head for everything that goes wrong. Anyway ASA how old are you now? How old is your daughter? Are you with someone or married? Thanks again and i hope to hear from you soon and anyone else that has advice. Im really hurting inside so any encouraging advice helps the pain.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
christine, i am in the same boat, i am 38 and the father left me twice during my pregnancy for the last time when i was 7 months along. he refuses to talk to me or acknowledge he even has a daughter until we do a dna test. he knows its his daughter, but he is an a__s. as for your b/f if he really loved you , he would have waited more then a week, now in his peanut mind he can say he gave you a chance and blame it on you. unfortunately we have to move on without them. i just had my daughter and im so glad i did.i dont need him and you dont either even though its easier said then done. i am taking lexapro for my an xiety and it really helps, you can take it when youre pregnant, you should talk to your dr.if you want to chat email me at irdeharleys @aol we have a lot in common. and i can help if you ever want to talk.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Christine,
I am sorry to hear about your situation. I think with the support of your family and friends you will be fine. Just remember to get financial support from the father in a legal manner. You have so many options and being single and pregnant is rough but if you have support you can do it!
Best wishes!
Nicole
http://www.adoptionprayer.com
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
First of all I want to thank you all for your advice. It really has helped me. But now I am stressing for different reasons. Babys daddy called me yesterday and wanted to see me and I made plans to meet up with him. But after talking with my dad and him pleading with me not to go, I didnt go.
And now the baby's dad called and said that I f*@#ed up my only chance to get back with him. And now I wish I didnt listen to my dad. I dont know what I am doing. Everyone tells me that he has not changed and that he is just coming back to mess with my mind use me and leave me again for theis other woman like he did about 6 times during my pregnancy. Everyone thinks Im insane to want him back. I feel like I cant handle motherhood without him or scared that I will always want him. Im not doing well. I feel like Im losing it! I feel like I cant handle all of this. My life is so messed up. Im so scared because its coming closer and closer to me having this baby and probably being a single mom and I dont think I will be very good at it. What the hell is wrong with me? I cant stop thinking the worst. I am not rationalizing any of this. It all seems everything is closing in on me and I cant hang. I tried calling him again saying im sorry and now he is saying its too late and he is ignoring my calls. Plus Im having a hard time getting motivated to get prepared to be a mom. I dont have the nursery all set up and i dont even have a name for her. Please someone help me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Christine: did you have your baby yet? how are you doing?
|
