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Well this is my story. The father took me to court for custody basically because he had lost his job and could not pay child support and was afraid of going to jail and the judge basically told him he could not have custody because the child live with me and we were not married. He could not have joint custody, because he live in another state. The father ask for visitation rights and the judge said he could not have vistation rights because we did not get along. So I do not know where you people live, but it totally different where I am from.

I went to childcustody.org (thanks april!) and got some really good info. From what I understand (not totally positive) if the child is adopted by another person and you haven't put the father's name on the b-certificate, then he has no rights ever. I don't know though if that relates to your situation (not informing the father). My baby's father was informed and didn't want rights, so it may be different. Good luck.