Father Is Controlling And Being Cruel

4 Replies
octavia_ne - June 15

This is kind of a long story but I really need to talk to some women who understand. I am 24, I was a ballroom dancer and I met this guy. He lives in KC, I live in Omaha. I worked for him and helped him run his studio, we were partners and I planend on moving down there to jump start my career and compete, etc. We never actually dated but he asked me to marry him and I said no. A few weeks later (we were no longer speaking) I found out I was pregnant. I am now 33 weeks with a little boy. It never seemed to bother him that I wa spregnant, in fact I think he enjoyed it because he feels like now he can manipulate me. he put me through so much stress the first few months that I didn't speak to him at all until recently. the only reason I called him is because I was feeling desperate. I don't really know how I'm going to support this child. So anyway, now he insists that I let him see the baby when he wants probably 1 weekend a month and that he is going to bring his 10 yr old and girlfriend with him. In fact, he was going to bring his girlfriend when I asked him to help me move. I told him nevermind. I think it's incredibly selfish of him. He only wants to pay 50 dollars a month, I don't know how much child support will ask for but it's probably no much more. He is now tellign me that I have to let him do whatever he wants and that I just haveto accept that this is the way my life will be, meanwhile he is flying to LA and going out and having a ball. He has contributed a total aof 75 dollars this entire time. He is so arrogant and self righteous as to tell em that I am the selfish one and htat I'm being childish. I told him if he wanted to see his son, it should be just him, and that if he can afford to travel here, then he can afford more child support. It takes about 3 tanks of gas to drive roudn trip. There a re a million other little things he has said to me that are just unbelievable. I actually started losing weight because of the arguing. So, basically he gets his cake and eats it too. He can tell me what to do and not carry any of the responsibilty. I really don't want anythign to do with him. No one else seems to understand my anger. It's so unfair and even though everyone tells me to go to court, I know they won't be much help. I've already talked to a lawyer about it and basically this guy will get exactly what he wants. Control.

 

octavia_ne - June 15

Edit- I tried to keep this short and sweet but it really is a lot worse then it sounds, to the point that I had to be hospitalized for depression. I've ven been thinking about letting him take he baby and signing away my rights just so he can't run my life whenever he sees fit.

 

Skyeblue - June 16

If you have been hospitalized for depression then I a__sume you have a psychiatrist whom you really need to turn to now and get into some regular therapy, say 2 times a week. Although your post does make some sense, it seems to go overboard, which is to be expected as you say you feel so overwhelmed. I can not imagine a legal lawyer telling you your ex can "have everything he wants." Do you have family near by? Can you have someone stay with you the first few weeks after birth. As you are prone to depression you need to be very careful with your self/emotions especially after birth. This is why you need help NOW to prepare you for the emotional side of birth and motherhood. It would be so sad to not bond with your child from the very beginning. Keep us posted, I wish you the best.

 

123abc - June 23

octavia_ne - this guy sounds like a loser.. I would really just prepare to have this baby on your own. Do take him to court and get him to pay child support which is based on his income and not how much he makes. at this point make sure to apply for custody, guardianship and decide on access.. if you feel uncomfortable around his gf being around, you can tell the courts you want supervised access. But be ready for the fact that his new gf will be part of your kid's life, if you want him to help you and be part of your child's life. and as skyblue says, do seek some professional help regarding your depression. Your hormones will be out of whack after you give birth, you're going to be tired and it's exhausting taking care of a newborn. You will need all the support you can get. good luck..

 

123abc - June 23

i meant to say child support based on his income, not based on how much he wants to give you.

 

ADD A COMMENT:


You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!


Already a member?
Please login below.





Forgot your password?
Need Help?