How Do We Move On Please Help

5 Replies
Crystal - May 22

My Ex wants to be part of this baby's life and be there to support me, but the kind of support that he can give me is the kind that i already have from friends and family. The support that I need from him he can't give me. How do we move on from here?!? We were best friends and he wants to continue to be best friends, but i can't. I can not sit there and put on a facade and tell him that nothing is wrong when all i want to do is burst into a million tears and tell him ALL i want is him. He can't give me his heart and i can't give him my friendship. Please help! Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

April - May 22

Tell him exactly how you feel. That's the best way to deal with it. Just know that you will have to let him be a part of the baby's life after he/she is born. He sounds like a good guy and every child deserves to know their father. My half sister's father left when she was 3.. and she said ANY time is better than no time with the biological father. Even though my dad has been her dad since she was 7. How far along are you? You may be able to use the time during the pregnancy to come to terms with how you feel... and maybe get over him enough to be able to be friends (probably not BEST friends though) But I would just sit him down and tell him how hard it is for you to be friends right now, and that you are supposed to avoid stress as much as possible, and if this situation is causing you stress, then you need to get away from him for a little while. I do have to say though, I wish my baby's father was here to support me. You're luckier than you know. Best wishes to you and your baby.

 

sxymama - May 24

I was in the same situation. My boyfriend and I were together for 4 years and when I became pregnant, we had a difficult time dealing with it and needless to say, we ended our relationship (because he wanted to) He wanted to continue to be there for me as friends, attend all my doctor's appointments and call to see how I was doing. I thought that I could deal with that at first, but it was too hard. I just couldnt deal with it. So eventually we ended up getting back together because we thought that it was best to work out our problems. My suggestion to you be patient and to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling about the current situation. You two now have a bond that will last forever, nothing can change that. If he doesnt want to have a relationship with you, then you have to start working on healing yourself. Do some things for you that are positive.

 

tracey - May 25

i have been with my boyfriend on and off for 7 years. (i have just turned 23, he will be 27 next week) when i was 8 1/2 months pregnant he cheated on me and we ended up splitting up for nearly two years. during the time we were apart we got on better than we ever really did. we then got back together but about 2 months ago i was angry at him and told him i wanted him to leave. since then he has been staying away from our house for days at a time. he is the person i have always wanted to be with and i have never stopped loving him in 7 years. my daughter is now 4 years old and she is noticing when i am upset. i don't think i will be able to cope good on my own with her. just need some advice on what i should do about my partner

 

Audrey - May 25

Sometimes when we're angry we say things we don't mean and end up regretting it. When I need to express myself I sometimes write letters to the people involved. They don't have to be mailed, you can toss them in the trash afterwards if you want, but writing down your feelings can help you get through what's bothering you.

 

April - May 25

I agree with Audrey... when my ex first broke up with me (when I was 4 months pregnant) I would write down how I felt in a notebook... it made me feel better to get those thoughts out of my head... and eventually I didn't have to write in there anymore

 

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