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Hi Andy. It is a very confusing time, isn't it? I'm in a similar situation, late 30's, single, working for a family planning non-profit org, etc. Although my boyfriend is "somewhat" in the picture now, he may not be for long. I've been struggling with the decision to do it alone as well. It sounds as though time for you is very much an issue. I know raising a child changes our lives more than you or I could ever imagine. Have you wanted a child in the past? If so, I know there have been people in worse situations that have done it on their own. It's really tough, but I have no doubt worth it. There are so many places that offer a__sitance to women in our situation. As far as the father, I'm not sure what I would do. If it's not a relationship you want, consider your boundaries for him ahead of time and stand firm. You seem like an intelligent and stable person who would probably make a great Mom. If you decide otherwise, that's okay to. Do what's best in your heart for both you and the baby and things will work out. (at least that's what I keep telling myself)

Keep the baby your old enough to grow up and you probably will never have another chance at your age ....I understand that its hard on every level but thats life...the hardest things in life are often the most worth while.

Hey Andy :o) I've been in a similar situation debating whether or not to keep the child I'm currently 23 wks pregnant with but being in the relationship I'm in we chose to keep it although I may end up a single mom of 2,only time will tell (I posted a thread about having a BF thats cold towards my son incase you read it)... I became a single mom at a very young age my point is in your situation you should do whats right in your heart. Make a decision that you'll be able to live with tomorrow. As long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and respect the woman you are then do what you feel is right for your situation. To say because of your age or the fact your unmarried you should keep this child because you may not have another is a very unwise and cruel thing to say. I dont believe you need to grow up I think its wonderful that you are brave enough to ask for advice and I applaude you. Being a single mother is tough and I'm not talking about on you or the pocket book its a million times harder on the child. My son will be 8 soon and hes getting to the age where hes asking questions about his father and why things are the way they are (I left his father at 4months and havent had contact since). I see his pain when other kids make fun of him I see his pain when they make him do Fathers Day gifts at school for a father he doesnt have. I see his pain when I cant fill the gap he has in his heart and though I hate to admit it and as hard as I try I cant fill it, I'm his mother I'll never be his dad. When you consider your situation give more thought to the happiness of the child as it grows up other kids can be cruel and it hurts as a parent when you know you caused that pain and you cant fix it. Of course kids are expensive but there are always ways around that and you sound like a woman who would do anything you have to to give your child the world but think about the things your child needs that dont cost anything like a fathers love. I face that hurt everyday when I look at my son. Whether you go through with your pregnancy or abort do whats best for yourself but think about the future of your child. I wish you nothing but the best in whatever you choose :o)

Thank you all for responding. I really appreciate the insight and support. It definately helps to know others are going through similar situations. Thank you again.

Hi Andy, What would be your reason(s) not to tell this man he will become a father...? Do you think he might try to convince you of something you are not ready for? I really feel for you in your dilemna. I understand all your concerns, which makes decisions even more difficult.

i think yuo should give it up for adoption

Andy33, your a social worker, you see what kind of homes those children can end up in. I am also pregnant and working on a degree to become a social worker (you know i want to change the world att_tude!) Ima student with no job and a bf that supports me on $14 an hour! there are all kinds of people on here to help you and then there is monetary help as well. grants loans and all sorts of government funds for pregnant women. if i can do at 20...sadly yes pregnant for my 21 birthday too! then i know you can do it at your more mature age. all the best!