Pregnant By Ex Married Lover
2 Replies
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About two weeks ago my married lover ended our affair cause of guilt he was feeling but wanted to remain best friends. About a week ago I found out I was pregnant. I didn't think it was possible for me to get pregnant cause of surgey for cervical cancer. When I told him, he pointed out all the reasons why I should not have this child. Even sent me money for an abortion. I have no children and I turn 33 tomorrow. After a long phone call, my ex said he would support the child but would not be part of the child's life if I continue with the pregnancy. He ended the call with you have my number if you need anything. I don't know what to do, to have an abortion, adoption or to keep the baby and raise it the best I can. I am single, was going to go to Nursing School on a scholarship starting in April. Left my great paying and great benefits job for a part time job with no benefits while I was in school. My ex knows all this. No matter what I do should I tell him, if I keep the baby do I ask for help and do I name him as he father and give the baby his last name. We live about 6 hour drive from eachother, several states away. We meant online and the chances of us running into eachother are next to none. Anyone who wants to tear into me for having an affair with a married man can't do any worse then I do to myself everyday when I look in the mirror. I know what comes around goes around and everyone has to pay their dues, many of you maybe saying, you made your bed now lay in it, and that's fine. But some serious advice would be great too.
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I don't think you can ask the people here if you should have an abortion. That's gonna cause an uproar. Only YOU know in your heart if you can keep this baby. I think when you are considering this you should be realistic that THIS IS YOUR CHILD..... meaning, in making your decision DO NOT count your married lover into the equation. No matter what he says now..... You have to search your OWN soul and decide if you can handle a child on your own. DO NOT let anyone else's opinion sway you.... Good Luck!!
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I agree with the above response - it seems appropriate in your circ_mstance. You've certainlyot yourself in a pickle, but the pregnancy wsn't deliberate and I can only imagine the turmoil you are going through. I think you need to be able to tell somebody who you honestly trust to give you some support during this time. I also agree with Monique, that you can't take into account your married lover (or ex)...you need some solid advice. You need to think seriously about your options and how they would affect both you and your baby - could you go through an abortion, or an adoption? Can you support this child by yourself, or if someone else comes into the picture? I think if you do decide to keep baby, the father should know about it, but also let him know your expectations - wether you want child support, wether you want nothing from him. etc. He also has a responsiblity too, wether he wants to accept it or not - maybe one day he will want to be in the child's life, maybe not. There are so many things to consider, I think you need someone to help you so you aren't by yourself on this one. It's a huge decision. Good luck with it all.
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