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Hi, I'm only 21 and a single parent to a little boy called Kai who is 2yrs 4months. I found out today that i am pregnant again! Kai's dad is rubbish and has no contact with him, despite previously telling me he wanted to. The father of this baby has been my best friend since i was 10 and we started seeing eachother about 4 months ago. He's not exactly thrilled n if he had it his way we wouldn't keep it. But i don't see a good enough reason to terminate the baby appart from us not being ready (which people hardly ever are) and it being hard. It's not the baby's fault and while we may not have lots of money, the baby will be loved. I'm just scared because altho we are seeing eachother we are not actually a couple so i will be a single parent. One upside is he said no matter what he will support me and do what he has to do. I had plans to send my son to nursery and start working, but doesn't look like thats gonna happen for another few years!!
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well, congrats and good luck to you. even if you and the new daddy don't plan on being a couple, kudos to him for planning on taking care of what he has become a part of.
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spoke to father today, he admitted it was heading for a relationship but said now because of this whatever was going on isn't anymore :( he said he's not ready for one let alone two (meanin if we got together he's have to support my other son) but he will be there 100% all the way. I suppose im lucky with that, but i can't help but feel a lil gutted.
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To be honest, the fact that he sat there and told you that your courtship was leading to a relationship but now is not is bullsh*t. Why even say that? It sounds like a major cop-out to me. I mean...have you changed personality wise? Have you grown a third leg? What about YOU PERSONALLY has changed that hes no longer interested in YOU. Babies aside, that should not be an issue with his feelings towards YOU. Sorry to be getting so upset but I was told much of the same thing by my ex boyfriend. Two weeks before he found out I was pregnant it was "Oh, I think I'm falling in love with you" and then the next thing I hear is "Well, uh, I was gonna break up with you anyways." Bullsh*t. Total coward cop out. I agree you should be grateful he is going to be "supportive," but saying things like what he told you is really not. Its basically like saying "This baby messed up what we could have had." Just watch out for other little indications b/c he does not so much sound like an honerable man. Proceed with caution...thats all us single pregnant gals can do!
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I know i'm a bit confused myself, eh agreed that even if i terminated it, things still couldn't carry on, to which i replied i couldnt carry it on if i had a termination. We're still getting on as best friends and now he knows i'm def keeping it is being 100% supportive. But i feel so upset, i was reallyt startin to develop feelings for him. I'm not asking him to jump in a relationship with me, but can't see why it all has to stop, isn't this even more reason to carry on n try to see if it will go anywhere? Would he not prefer to try and be with the mother of his child? It's not as if we've broken up and don't get on. Things were going really well till i got my bfp. Either way altho i wasn't pleased at first, I now really want this baby and am looking forward to the times ahead
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 | krc - February 27 |
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well I am glad that you are happy about the baby, that is most important. It's unfortunate though that he is backing away from you even though HE'S the one who got you pregnant. What ever happened to men who step up to the plate and do whats right? It's too easy for men to get a girl pregnant and walk away! I really hope he will atleast be there to support you as a friend. But if he doesn't want to date you, what kind of a dad will he be? Or will he just pop in from time to time like an uncle or something?! So you said your gonna have to wait to put your older child in daycare...are you working now? Do you live with family that help support you and your babies?
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No i'm not working, but was meant to start soon. He will be there a lot, i'm lucky with that, he'll be around practically everyday after work, so i can't see why we can't carry on as we were.
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i agree with Colleen that this guy sounds like nothing but a coward. he obviously isnt ready mentally to be a father and didnt want to feel guilty about it so therefore asked you to abort the baby. it sounds like you are better off without him. do you really see yourself with someone who can't have a relationship with you because you are carrying his baby? he isn't worth it.
on the other hand i think that krc was a little bit harsh saying that he isnt stepping up to the plate and doing whats right. whats right in my opinion is for him to be there for support and be there for the baby when the baby arrives. nobody should stay in a relationship if their heart isnt in it so i think its a bit harsh to blame him for that - yes he is a coward, but im sure mum2kai would rather he be with her for her and not wholly for the sake that they have a baby on the way.
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