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my uncle married my aunt after she had several kids. he adopted them, and when their mother ran away, he kept the kids even though they were not his biological children. they all see him as their father, and he's remained very much a part of the family. there is more than one way for your son to have a father, blood isn't everything, i promise.

Same thing with me! My ex would ONLY come around to get me into bed after he abandoned me! I wouldn't give it to him, but he'd keep trying. I finally told him not to come around anymore because I really, truly was done having s_x with him and if he wanted to come around to help me with this child that was okay. So far I haven't seen him in months. Men can be such jerks! He probably isn't giving you mixed signals. It just sounds like your getting used (sorry, i was too) It really made me think about how I was picking men and my att_tude with them. Now is a good time to rea__ses some of your past relationships and develop a new att_tude that will help your child. That is what I did. I realized sooo many things while I was pregnant. It's hard, believe me, to get over the departure of your ex, but you WILL get through it. I promise. It just takes a really, really long time. It really helped me to STOP seeing him all together. I just had to disconnect from him. And don't feel sorry for your son! Feel good that you are protecting him from such a louse of an ex! that's the way I tihnk of it. I know it's the same thing. I knew my ex for 4 years and then suddenly I just woke up. Time does heal things. You don't want to raise your son to be like his father. Raise your son right. Your ex has NO respect for you. (I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. I think I'm projecting some of my situation on your situation, but I just got so angry when I read that he was only coming around for s_x! )

Thank you so much Sasha:) I know that I am being used by him, but I just keep hoping that he'll change his mind even though I know that he wont. He is a creep, and I know that my son and I deserve so much better. Guys can be such a**holes! Thanks for your advice, and it wasn't too harsh, it's just what I needed to hear:)

I am going through the same thing. My ex only wants to be around me when he's feeling like me( which is not often) and he's with so many other women-even living with one but denies anything is going on.He is only getting worse. NEVER regret your kids. Its him missing out not you or you baby. Look-i have been weak for years but no more! Although the child should have tons of family and both parents, i feel sometimes its better that the child is better of away from the one parent depending on the situation.All we can do is pray, be strong and do the best we can for our kids. We love them and thats what matters!Good luck to all.Oh we already have a child together to.

I have come to the conclusion that guys suck!!!lol. I was with my ex for 6 years, when i got pregnant he told me to have an abortion, i said no, so he kicked me out of the house. Im now living back with my mom, and i am so happy being with her, she has been really great support. It has been tough, and i am scared about being a single mom, but i know that the baby and i are better off without him. I have hope that one day i will find a guy who will love me and my baby and treat us the way we deserve to be treated!! Im now due TOMORROW!!! i cant believe the time has finally come, im sooooo excited to meet this littleone :) Louise, you will get through this, and you will be an AWSOME mom! And you will find a guy one day that derserves to be with you. Don't give up hope and stay strong!! Have a merry christmas:)

Lauren---Good luck with your delivery! Thanks so much for your advice! Your situation sound exactly like mine...I also am living back home with my mom. Thanks to everybody, you ladies make me feel in control again (and that feels great)

You will be just fine, hang in there. It may seem like the end of the world right now, but this pain will eventually make you a stronger person.

Louise-- Im gald that you feel a little better, and youl'll be just fine in the end!! Thank you for the goodluck wishes, im pretty nervous about the whole labour and delivery, but i know i'll get through it just fine. I've come this far.....I'll be sure to let you know how it all goes (and i'll leave out all the scary bits !!! lol) good luck, and keep healthy:)

Hi Louise,I know how you feel and its the most pain ive ever felt in my life,and ive felt some.My partner was living in my house for two years,he drinks and when he was on a drinking binge i discovered i was pregnant.He completly buried his head in the sand and wouldnt discuss what to do with me so i decided to keep my baby because i was happy to be pregnant.He had never taken any responsibility for contraception although he didnt want any more kids-and men call us illogical!Anyway its been hard trying to get my head around the fact that someone who said he loves me has abandoned me when i really need him a nd being sad at a time that should be happy.When hes down i am kind to him and then he just goes off and hardly contacts me.He has left me to fend for myself in the most desperate pain-is that love?I see him as self obsessed but find it hard to cut off from him but get too hurt when i have contact with him because i still care for him but he keeps showing me im very for down on his list.Its a very difficult thing to find a livable solution to.Its hard to find the necessary strength when youre hormonal and need love and support and is not the time to have to deal with a pile of life lessons.I can only hope it will make us stronger ,wiser women who will find partners who are strong,kind and worthy of what we have to give them.the gift of a child is the ultimate gift.

Isn't it amazing the situations we find ourselves in.. I'm 22 weeks now, my guy left 2 months ago.. he waited around to see if i would miscarry as i'm high risk, or have an abortion.. i didn't.. he tried to tell me that if i did all these things like have regular s_x with him ( i was and am still very sick with morning sickness 24/7 ) or prove my love to him that he might stick around.. well i wasn't able to comply.. and he is gone.. not just gone but moved on, has a new girl now.. it kilss me inside every day to know that he's out there with her while i look into the face of our baby, the ultrasounds i've had done show our babys face pretty well and so far this little one looks exactly like him. makes me feel almost invaded by him.. as if no matter what i do, his shadow will always haunt me.. we both live in a very digital world, and my bigest mistake is keeping tabs on him via the internet.. he doesn't know i do it.. and all it does is kill me inside every day.. so why do it? the urge is just so great.. i haven't slept more than a couple of hours in a night for weeks, i have lost alot of weight when i should be gaining and am subject to bouts of tears at any moment. i'm on bed rest and live alone.. so here alone i have soooo much time to ponder my situation, my fears and my hurt.. it's easy to get stuck.. it's easy to say stop seeing him, but it's not so easy to actually do.. i wish you luck.. i hope you have better luck than i have had so far..

jessica- i know it's hard, but you've got to stop keeping tabs on this guy. it's only helping you keep him constantly in your mind. try to think about other things. the more you concentrate on other things, the less you'll have time to think about him...eventually you'll get to a point where you'll barely think of him at all. i'm concerned b/c you say your pregnancy is high risk and you sound extremely stressed out. your situation is stressful enough already w/o adding the extra stress of knowing whats going on in his life b/c of your spying. it's not healthy for you. i know boreing being stuck at home, but there are other ways that you can occupy your time (i'm not on bedrest, but i'm in a similar situation). i'm sorry that you're going through all of this, but you don't want your extreme stress levels to cause you to go into premature labor. take care of yourself.

I'm writing with the hopes that this will make someone feel a little better. I, too, got pregnant unexpectedly (last March) and my BF of a year ultimately bailed (after pressuring me to terminate, and then wanting to get married...talk about a roller coaster). It was an unimaginably difficult year and, like some of you, I found myself questioning my decision during times of despair. Well, my daughter was born 6 weeks ago and let me tell you, it's the greatest thing that ever happened in my life. Hard as anything, yes. But she's precious and beautiful and, if it comes down to my having gotten to keep my boyfriend or have this baby, I'd take the baby ANY day. He's in the picture from a parent standpoint, which is good and bad. I'm glad for my daughter, but it's annoying having to interact with him on a regular basis. I trust that it will just continue to get easier. But my point is, the pregnancy part is so hard. But the baby part? So worth it! Good luck and God bless.

Are you serious? This woman is having enough problems as it is and you are seriously stating you want an opportunity to make her and her baby happy? She needs to get her situation straightened out with herself before entertaining this type on an idea. I'm a__suming you are a man because only a man would avoid the whole problem and think only of himself. What an A-hole. Louise be strong girl. Trust me I know how difficult your situation is. I have an 11 year old daughter whose pregnancy I went through by myself and the only support I get from the father is his child support checks. It's very hard but you can do it, you've made it this far. I'm in a messed up situation as well and about 9 weeks pregnant and it looks like I may have to go trough this pregnancy alone as well because men are so immature and don't take responsibility for there actions. Keep your head up and know that it will get better soon. Best wishes!

I know how you feel. I am 17 weeks pregnant and learned that my husband has feelings for my sister and she has feelings for him. He is 31 and she is 18. SICK. He was kicked out and now living with his mother. He's not sure what he wants. I am so afraid of what tomorrow will bring. I can't give advice b/c I am living the nightmare and can't see straight either. I just wanted you to know that I really can say I know how you feel.

Louise and all the others: For the past 8 months I swear I thought I was the only one in this world going through this. I mean I can imagine a man leaving his significant other during her pregnancy, but guys I never thought it would happen to me. Reading what everyone wrote truly helps me feel like I am not alone. And gives me even more courage to press on. As of now I can't stop feeling miserable and crying everytime I think about him and my situation.--Just like Louise and Jessica. I am so terribly broke, I can barely afford to buy food to keep me and my baby sustained; I just can't understand why a man would treat a woman this way. I pray that I get through all of this with a half-way healthy baby. I look forward to his birth but its hard to keep smiling when there is so much to keep me down. Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself. Also too, I know how extremely depressing it can be during this time with additional stress of being alone and finiancial instability. I was SO VERY suicidal. I was planning on not making it to christmas, pregnant and all. But, when I felt my baby kick everytime I cried, I just couldn't do it. I decided at least to keep him alive. Have him and do it after he is born. ( I am so sorry if this is too morbid). But within a few short months, he has definitely changed my mind. Seeing mothers with their babies, hearing people talking about their children, and watching birth stories on discovery channel...now I am looking forward to seeing him. Even when I am sad, depressed, and broke, and hungry I want to be alive for him. If anyone is now at the disastrous point I was, please email me or say something. If I can help you change your mind, I can show you some way, some how its all worth it.

ohhh Jessica G...Bless your heart. it may not seem that way now, but things will get better. all of you ladies stories have touched my heart. stay strong sweetie and remember...financial situations change all the time and after your baby is born, you'll never be lonely again. Best Wishes everyone.