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Thank you indymommy. I'm so sorry it happened to you. I can't understand why people do it, its a terrible thing to do and I dont know how people can live with themselves. Tray I'm so glad that your situation turned positive. You'll find a way I am sure. I've told my mum over the weekend all that has happened, and she has been so supportive. The only thing was she told me off for not coming to her earlier. But she understands. We'll find a way. I'm still not sure about going to the police, but thank you for that, its definitely something I'll be considering. I think I've still got the sim card for the phone.
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Abortion is not the answer and why didn't you do something about what he did?
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mommie2b...maybe she felt embara__sed, humiliated, ashamed. She was RAPED. Many women react differently in situations, maybe she was afraid, maybe she froze up? If a rape happens, it happens, you can't just sit there and say "Well you could have done this" or "You should have done that"...sometimes people go into shock. There is no point in asking why she didn't do anything, and I know this from personal events...imo she should go to the police, though I would be a hypocrite. Rape is such a humiliating act, coming out is so hard...don't ask that question as if it's such an easy thing to do!
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I meant why did she not tell her parents and the cops. Why get defensive about it i was just asking a question it was for her not you.
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amberlee i put up a post for you on the teen preg forum im sorry its so late xx
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Hey mommie2b chill out alittle...She was just looking for a few people to talk to not critisize her.This is why people start fighting on here.Have you ever had this happen to you...Its not that easy to tell people.You feel ashamed and scarred.SO let be a friend and just support her. If you cant do so then stay out of it
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She already told her parents and is considering telling the cops...well her mom at least. I got that fromm reading the post. So what if it was directed towards her, I can say as I please =p I got defensive about it because of the "tone" of your post (your post was short and didn't really offer consolation or advice). So sorry if that's not how you meant it.
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mommie2b is the one that thinks I am lying :( If I am honest I am not totally sure why I didnt tell my parents or the police. After it happened I was in total shock. He tried hugging me and kissing me telling me he was sorry and I went crazy and screamed at him to get out and after he left I spent the whole night crying my eyes out and the last thing on my mind was who to tell, I kept thinking he was going to come back and do it again. I spent the next few days lying in bed and everytime I heard someone at the door or the phone ring I thought it could be him, I was terrified. I didnt dare leave the house. All rational thought just seems to leave you and you panic at the slightest things. I never told my mum til now because I was too embarra__sed and she frets about me all the time I didnt want to hurt her. The police.. well I felt too scared and the last thing I wanted was to sit in a room full of strangers going over every detail of what he did to me, and having to have the examinations, I couldnt bear that. I never thought anyone would believe me. And if this ever went to trial the defence would totally screw me up, to be accused of lying about it REALLY hurts. I was just too scared to do anything about it and felt totally disgusting and violated. I also know what the justice system is like - a joke. And having to go over all the details of my s_x life, and the fact we were friends and them asking me how I felt about him and did I lead him on which I KNOW would have been asked. And then to top it off, I find out he's made me pregnant and it has just made me feel disgusting and sick to have a part of him living inside me. Abortion isnt the answer for you, but it is for me. Some of the things you have said to me have been really hurtful, and it is all because I feel I have to do something you dont agree with. I respect that you think it is sick to have an abortion, that is how you feel and no one can question it or judge you for it. But I dont think you need to judge me so much for it! I dont think abortion is wonderful, I don't like them, nobody likes them. But they are there for who chooses to have one, and I have. It's not the heartless, selfish, easy decision you think it is.
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mommie2b...get lost and leave amber alone...she was RAPED for god sake!!! honey look in my opinion its your choice,,,,if i were in you situation i think i would still keep it but i'm not so i cant say that its definate...it may change my mind if i was in ur situation.....i can understand why u wouldn't want to keep the baby.....the baby is a product of rape..and every day of your pregnancy you would be remembering how this life growing inside you was created in the first place and as much as it may hurt you to make your decision i can see how it will hurt u just as much to go through with it.....so no judgment here....if this is what u want then i wish you the best of luck and hope you are ok. mommie2b..once again leave this girl alone!!! ur stalking her around this site...u cannot force your beliefs on her ok? just leave her alone....i seen ur post about 'shouldn't have spead her legs' ur sick and tryin to make her feel guilty makes u even more sick......go away
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I am not sick nor am i stalking her if I was raped but I am not saying i was not ever forced to do something that i did not want to do and yes my ex did that he did not rape me but he made me do things i did not want to but i told the cops even though i was froze i had no choice i could not turn to my family cause they would of blamed me for it so i went to the cops and he spent a few days in jail. I thought if she did it then him being put away would help matters
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Mommie 2 be... is a few days in jail going to help Amberlee in the future?? I dont think so. You said in your last post "if I were raped" so apparently you never were... so to sit her talk down to a woman who is going through something I can never even imagine is not only wrong but pathetic... Dont u understand the damage this guy has done to her...? if she kept this baby she will be reminded everyday how it was concieved? It was concieved by a crime, by someone forcing themself on her without her consent. Once you say NO... its no, and its rape. Who cares so much about the law right now... this girl needs support, and i would expect being a woman yourself and having a heart u would understand that her choosing to have an abortion has nothing to do with being irresponsible, or a murderer or any of that...if she keeps this baby it could scar her worse for life then the action of the rape has already... and in the long run it could scar the child....we are all woman and in a case like this I would think people would be more supportive. Everytime I read this girls posts I feel so bad for her. NO one deserves this, and no one deserves to get abused by someone who has no idea what she is going thru on the internet... I would rethink what your saying and possibly apologize because you have done nothing but abuse this girl even more...
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i won't apologize i am sorry that it happened have you not heard of hotlines for raped women, battered women, unwanted pregnancies? call one of those thats what they are there for is to talk to you about your problem.
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Well is this kind of the same thing as a help line...Dont people come here looking for advice and people to talk to?She is handeling this the way she feels she needs to.Rape is not an easy thing to deal with.Just think how could you raise a baby that reminds you every day of one of the worst things that has ever happened to you.Maybe some older women can handel it better but she is young.Evan to have this baby grow inside of you makes you think about it day and night.If she doesnt feel she can deal with that it is her choice.Yes I hat abortion but sometimes it is the only choice some girls can make.Amberlee You do what you need to do and if you need someone to talk to you have a few of us on here to chat with
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Yes I have heard of hotlines and I have been speaking to someone quite a few times at a rape crisis centre, I wasn't aware that I had to limit myself to one place. This is not a little "problem" that will go away after talking to a couple of people, its one of those things thats with you for the rest of your life. But anyway, you dont listen to anything I say and are so judgemental you cant see past the fact I'm having an abortion, and therefore I give up on you and will put it down to stubborness on your part, and will just hope that if one day, god forbid, you are raped, you wont get the treatment you dish out to people that have. So that aside thanks so much girls for your support it means a lot and makes me feel so much less alone! I went to the doctors yesterday and have been given an appointment to see a counsellor about having a termination today. He said I was showing a lot of signs of depression so wanted me to see one right away :(
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young_mum_2_b thanks for understanding. There are people out there that do keep children conceived through rape, I am speaking to a girl who did, and I think its a wonderful thing if they can do that. But that is how it feels, that inside me just makes me feel violated all the time, I cant feel love or excitement, just resentment and disgust and I feel ashamed of myself for feeling like that, but most of the people I have spoken to that have been in the same position have said they have felt the same. There was someone though that said to me, "well its not so bad cos you werent raped by a stranger in a dark alley he was a friend so you must have felt a bit more comfortable" ??WTF??
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Ouch RIA, kinda harsh. I would say that mommie2b is simply being blunt, not to say that it makes it any easier for Amberlee to listen to. Amberlee- you need to do what you feel is right for you. I'm glad that you are talking to people at the rape crisis centre. It won't make things magically better, but it is good to be able to talk. You do what you need to girl :)
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