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Hi I'm 19 and 14wks pregnant with my first.The father doesnt want the baby.I have been getting through the pregnancy with my best friend and family.It is best to have the father there but if he wouldnt be there dont try to do it yourself.Going to doctors appt alone is not fun-my sister and my best friend take turns.My mother is coming to the next one!! So if you have any friends or family have them help you get through this if they care about you they will be more then glad to.Keep in touch!!

If you find yourself with a lot of free time, get a hobbie, go to school, take up a small course in typing (county jobs need no experience just 40wpm, good pay great benefits) Take a parenting cla__s, computer, do something to keep your mind occupied while working towards a better future.

Hi Trin, I agree with the other two gals who posted. Don't be afraid to ask for help or support from family and friends. Also, you should look in your area for a pregnancy support group. Not only will you have some other gals to talk to that are going through what you are, but you can make friends and once the babies come, share stories, swap babysitting and have a support network of people that TRULY understand what you are going through. Also, go to social services and see about what help you are elligible for...there may be programs for housing, food, and even training and education. Most importantly, enjoy this time and try not to think about the ex or waste energy trying to get him to lend a hand but definitely DO tell him that whether he wants to be involved or not, he's still got an obligation to the child (GET A LAWYER) and either he will need to terminate his parental rights or pay child support. Good luck!

Thanks so much Jonella, Jullie and Jill, the ideas are very practical i think we should discuss more on the practical steps and this is what will help us to go thru what we are going thru. Luckily i have a full time job, but i get depressed when i get home and am all alone and on weekends but i am going to take the advice forward, thanks ladies.

Congrats on your pregnancy Trin. Always keep in mind that "you are the best parent for your child," something I learned in my pre-natal yoga cla__s. I loved the cla__s it was so empowering and it allowed me to let go of the guilt and worry of being a single mom and just focus on me and my babies well being. To get through it I totally threw myself into my pregnancy and preparing for my baby. I read ALL about pregnancy, babies, I loved the chance to shop and not feel guilty because it was all stuff for the baby. I even started taking a sc___pbooking cla__s (which I never would have done before) to make a book about my daughter. It makes time fly by and keeps you focused on what is important. Take care...

how do you raise a child with out a father

I'm in the same situation as you. And it sucks. But I've been spending lotsa time with friends and family. Without them, I dont think I could do this. They are treating my son as there own. So he like, has three moms. And dont be afraid to accept help from people. It sucks. But someday you'll be able to help them when they need it. Good luck with everything!! You can do it.

Hi I'm 22 and I am 11wks pregnant with my first child. The baby's father is my brother's best friend and he already has a girlfriend. She went away on holidays for a while and so we got together and now he doesn't know what he wants - he is adament that he doesn't want the baby but I am adament that I do! I am so scared to do this on my own as my family are not being very supportive because of the situation. I guess I just need to call on my friends..the girls. Any advice would be awesome thanks ladies.

Thanks everyone and April for your practical suggestion, at the moment i am employed full time and my work place gives some maternity leave which i feel is fair enough, l.e five monhts- thank God, nevertherless doing some more would be good to take my mind off the stress and anger that i still feel, sometimes everyday i get home after work, i just cry in my house, the loniliness, then the pregnancy challenges, no one to make for you some thing to eat---God i dont know what i did to deserve this.

Best of luck to you, Trin. I am in a similar (but worse!) situation, so you're not alone! I have a lot of admiration for you for just deciding to keep the baby. It takes a lot of courage. Stay strong.

im the same,trying to get my head around the fact that i have 2 children already with me and now ive found out im pregnant and my current boyfriend cant handel it.up till now ive just been hopeing the better side of him will see sense but now im starting to face facts about going it alone and anything else is a bonus,suppose we just have to base all our decisions on being alone and anything else that comes along just comes along,take every day as it comes,as hard as it is dont try to plan to far ahead.

Anna and Lisa, thanks for the encouragement, everything you have said is so true, Lisa, the last sentence was real to me, i have been trying to plan so far ahead instead of taking a day at a time. thanks all you beautiful ladies with big hearts out there, u have saved a soul.

I am also in the same situation. I am 14 weeks pregnant with my second child. My wonderful boyfriend does not want anything to do with me or our child. Its hard, there are no easy answers. I just keep telling myself that when I hold our child for the first time all this will have been worth it. I don't understand how anyone could not want there own child, but I realize he has no concious about this. I guess my only suggestion would be to pray.. thats the only thing that gets me through.

To Courtney, i hope you get to read my reply, what u talked about praying is something practical that we can do.when i first told my b/f i was pregnant he did not even want to see, he would not even me a lift to hospital in case of emergency, thru this fora i learnt to live on my own, he had even said he would not acknowledge the baby nor offer any support, i have been praying for him, now yesterday after a long time he came to my place and told me he will offer some support when the child is born, and also said incase of emergency i can call him if he is in towm he can help. I can tell you to hear him accept some responsibility is a major break thruogh, we still have the other differences, he has refused to meet my parents, he wont even show me where he leaves now, he changed residence but Gal, i am thankful if he can accept his child. he has promised to come to see the ultra sound at 6 monhts, i am hoping that he keeps his promise may be that may change him. Please ladies pray with me.

Okay first if you need a place of your own look at repossessed trailors. They are cheap and lot rent is cheap. Then look to welfare for cash a__sistance, food stamps, medicaid, energy a__sistance, and if you need a car they will help with that. Also look into charities for baby stuff. Then to survive a pregnancy alone you need to surround yourself with support. Take birth and parenting cla__ses to meet other moms. Look to a community pregnancy center to set you up with some other preggos to talk to and hang with. Then get out of the house and do stuff! Shop for baby stuff, walk in a park, sit out and look at stars, whatever. No matter what you do DON"T sit and worry. It won't help and it will keep you from enjoying pregnancy. Also if you're not too far along maybe go on a few dates just to remind yourself you're attractive and worth while. Best wishes.

QUESTION FOR APRIL: Which online school did you attend? My sister is considering this field of work and is a stay at home mom. Thanks