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Your decision alone, Katie. I'm sure you've run the numbers and figured out the support system. You'll be a great mom, and you deserve to contribute to the gene pool as much as any woman. I'll leave the moralising to others. You obviously have judged yourself in this regard and not found yourself wanting.

Don't you deserve a life with someone who loves only you? Why have you chosen to be the bottom woman? Who cares if you hurt him? He is a jerk. He is not concerned about you or his child. He wants you to just dispose of the baby like it is a minor disturbance. It is a human. I think you should consider what you want. If you want the baby, he should definatly have to provide fiancial support. If you don't want the baby, you should consider adoption. Either way, you should end the relationship with him. You deserve better. Don't you want to be in love where you can shout it from the roof tops? You deserve so much more. Stop holding your self down. Love yourself, Love the baby. Do what you know is right, not what you think would please Mr. Selfish.

I just want to thank all of you who have been so understanding of my situation. I really appreciate your support and suggestions - I have decided to keep the baby - get him out of my life - and to make sure his wife and family will never be hurt by our actions. As for those who are so blatently judgemental without knowing the entire scenario... I pity you. You have no idea what I have been through for the past 8 years. The manipulating head games that this man has put me through is nothing compared to the hurtful words I have heard from you. I don't feel good about what I have done, but I have to live with myself for the rest of my life because of my actions. I just wish I was a stronger person to understand what he was doing to me a long time ago. And for you to wish my baby miscarries - shame on you! Wishing that on someone is worse than committing adultery! It is not the baby's fault of our actions.

Katy, Good for you! It is still not going to be easy but I know you can do it. I am very proud of you. He should still have to support the baby fiancially. He choose to be with you too, you need not worry about hurting his family. That was his choice. You must take care of you and the baby now. I am amazed at the cruel people on here too. Don't pay any attention. Your life will take a turn for the better. Someone will love you for you. Someone will accect/love the baby too. Love yourself enough to only be with quality people. You deserve the best and don't settle for less.

Katy, one more thing about hurting his family. That woman and her kids don't deserve to live a lie. Nothing would be more hurtful than to have a sham of a marriage/husband and waste decades of life. You take that child support. You have been thru enough. Don't feel one bit bad about doing it:)

wow this is so sad...katy i don't believe that you should hide your pregnancy from his family regardless of how hurt his wife would be. he has to face his responsibility as well. as for the person "re: jen" just because you have an MA and your husband has a PHD doesn't mean that he won't have an affair. i didn't know a degree stopped someone from falling for someone else. and don't even try saying anything about my family. we are living a normal life. i trust my husband but at the same time i have my guard up. u can never be safe these days. every woman should do the same. no matter how much a man may say he loves you, there is always a dark lie hidden. katy take the a$$hole to court and get child support. if i were you i'd let his wife know exactly what is going on. i went thru a similar situation. my sons father was engaged and i didn't know it until i was 5 months pregnant and he wanted me to lie to his fiance tellin her that we were together when they had split up for a month. i couldn't bury the truth and told her everything. she ended up stayin with him either way but my son doesn't know his father (his fathers decision) but i still get child support. my son is now 3 years old and i have been with my husband since he was 2 months old so my husband is the other "father" he knows and his real father doesn't care about him. good luck!

"naiive and simple" what the hell are you talking about, you are a judgemental b___h. What does everyone need to be just like you in order to have a good life? Take your high educational level and stick it up your a__s. A high educational level does not make you a better person or a smarter person. Seems like you are the type of person that lives for labels, very materialistic. Does it make you feel better to put everyone else down and to teach them to live their lives like you do? Wow.....did I just write all that? I feel better now. Honestly, read your email...you did sound b___hy.

I am especially b___hy about affairs. They bring out the worst in me and I am not afraid to speak my mind. The education has nothing to do with the fact that we do not have affairs. Just an added bonus for our children, that is all. We do not have affairs b/c we are in love with each other and RESPECT EACH OTHER.

Of course affairs are wrong and I'm sure you have a nice/loving family. I also think that people are not robots and they make mistakes.sometimes big mistakes, nobody is perfect. I hope Katie starts learning from her mistakes and starts a new life with her baby. Why does her life have to be doomed? Would it really make you all happy is she had her baby, the baby hated her and she died of cancer??? Also, if the husband didn't cheat with her, he would have found someone else. This is an interesting threat. It's actually nice to hear everyones opinions, even the b___hes....for a lack of knowing her name.

I agree that in an ideal world, Katy would have her baby and all would be perfect. I seriously doubt that will happen and she likely will have this baby with the hopes that he will come around. Katy has serious issues and she is in no state to have a baby!!! Why can't you all see that?? Katy should not have her baby, or give it up for adoption, GET COUNSELING to work on why she had this affair in the first place and what can be done to salvage any strength and truth that she may have left, find a commited relationship and start a family from there. WOULD ANY OF YOU WANT TO BE THE "BABY FROM THE AFFAIR"?

Isn't it about the child??? It sure as hell should be.

I wonder how many of you would be so supportive if it was your husband she was pregnant by?? Not many I would imagine.

I trust my husband 100%. If he had an affair, I would blame him. I am not the baby of an affair but I saw my father very little as a child and my father cheated on my mother. We all don't have perfect backgrounds. Would it be better to be a child of a one night stand? I mean who really cares. This child can be brought up and be healthy no matter how he/she got here. If she is not ready to be a mom, yes the child should be adopted. Maybe she's not ready to be a mom. The one thing I don't like is how katie justifies the affair, like she helped the family by having an affair with a married mad...now thats nuts. Also, an affair for 8 years is a long time to make a mistake. Hey Katie, I will adopt your baby if you are thinking about adoption. I don't know if she's ready to have a baby, I wish I knew more. I just want the baby to have a good life reguardless of how he/she got here. I just feel like that is a small part of a human being, how they got here and I think the child will get over that, I hope so. I have an adopted child, maybe that's why I am so defensive of that. I do agree with the b___h on a lot of things and she doesnt sound like a b___h in her last couple of posts. Sorry to call you a b___h, that was mean of me. Just that one post annoyed me. Honestly, I am sorry. My posts were harsh. It's fine to disagree. So Katie tell us more......

I was fully prepared to be axed for my posts. They were very harsh b/c I never side with cheaters, either male or female. Katy totally justified her actions in her post and the statement that she tried to help the family only infuriated me to the point of.... I cannot imagine that someone who has had an affair for 8 years and tries to justify it, or refer to it as a "mistake", could be ready to raise a child. We do not need more ignorant parents in this world. I think adoption is the best option. All of this is being said by a woman who grew up on the c___ppy end of a selfish mother's decisions.

I totally understand you "b___h". LOL, It's funny to see that as your name on the post. I guess you understand what it's like to be raised by a perosn who shouldn't have had children, I see where you are coming from. Katie may not be ready to be a parent becasue of her actions, I don't know....I'm confused now. I do see where you are coming from. Now I wonder what katie is doing and she probably won't reply and leave me hanging. You know what, you are probably a better person/mother knowing this heartache...not to say it's a good thing but it made you who you are today.

by the way, I think I am addicted to this site.