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I had an affair as well. I'm only 20 and pregnant now. I am on the pill, protection doesn't always work. I live at home, cuz I'm going to college. My parents are going to kick me out when they find out. I haven't told him yet. Both him and his wife have cheated in the past and they're only together for their two kids. I'm very afraid to tell him. However, no matter his reaction I won't get an abortion. I'm raising my baby with or without him. I recommend the same for you. Don't let him pressure you into an abortion. You'll have to live with that for the rest of your life. I know the guilt you feel for having an affair. I know because I feel it too. Why add the guilt of an abortion to it. Two mistakes don't make a right one.

Kathy, good luck with your situation. Clearly, you're not alone. I would definitely suggest that you tell the father of the child. You should not have to burden the raising of the child alone, particularly in a financial sense. As a father, he must financially support the child - but not until the child is born. Paternity will likely have to be proven, but that's a simple thing to do after the child is born. Good luck with your parents. Hopefully you'll be wrong about their reaction and that they'll support you. Don't be alone in this.

Have the baby without him. I think he is a selfish person who is only thinking about himself by suggesting you get an abortion. forget him! Do what you feel is right.

I really enjoy the people who post messages here. I hope that all of you are working through your issues as good as possible. You might even want to keep a journal, and every day find one positive thought or takeaway to put in this journal. On your bad or depressed days, this journal can be a source of hope & inspiration.

Katie, I am in the same position as you. I made the biggest mistake beliveing this b___d was single he was such a lying son of a b___h. I got pregnant and he wanted me to abort the baby. I refused and called his wife told her about me being pregnant of course she is still with him. They have no kids as she told me she would never have kids with him. I wanted nothingmore to do with him and then he took me to court got his d__n rights and sees my son who hates him. He is a clueless pathetic sperm donor only out to harm my son and myself. I cannot get this b___d out of our lives and am suffering terribly. He has no makings of a father at all. My son is 3 and every time he knows he has to go to this man he cries. The courts do not give a d__n. He of course has never taken my son to his house co;s his wife is not thrilled by the idea. We have no idea how much she evern knows and I feel he is hiding the child from her. Stay away from this man. Do not be like me as I have to see and deal with this pig every week. I cannot believe I ever fell for such low lying sc_m. Get away if you can.

the baby has all rights to know who his really father is, so dont take that way from it

There are so many man in this world!!! Why mess with another woman's husband? This is a very selfish act and you will be punish for it later...Btw, Man will tell you anything to get in your pants. Thats what boys do!!! A real man will end his marriage first and then start a new relationship. You must be one lonely sad woman to mess with someone family..The Other woman need to go to Dr. Phil for advice so he can tell it like it is. I feel sorry for the baby.

The last statement was aimed for women like Katy. She knew he was married and continued to have affair with this man.

keep the baby but don't involve him, he doesn't truly care for you or he wouldn't have led you on so long.... You will find a better man who loves and supports you later, even with a child....

I hate it when women willingly screw a married man and become pregnant and automatically think he will leave his wife!! You should of kept your legs closed! I mean 8 years? Get some self esteem and get your own life, this guy doesn't care about you.

Yes you did do "something" to hurt his family and his relatioinship. You and that Dog betrayed his wife's trust. So you mean because your 35 and I quote: "this may be my last chance to have a child" you knowingly got pregnant? You selfish self-centered whore! You deserve to be alone, all of a sudden your thinking about people's feelings?? You seriously NEED HELP! I hope that in this time you can feel the pain and devestation his Wife will go through once she finds out!!

first of all your triflyn how could you have a child by a married man? i hope you do feel the pain that his wife is gonna indure and to answer your question GET AN ABORTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you can take your own advice, because you could be going through it too :)

To all of the women in this situation, sleeping with a married man. i dont want to judge because i have no heaven or hell to put you in. im in a similar situation like yours. I slepted with this married man several times. I will only judge myself, because im responsible for my own actions. He insisted on seeing me again, i wont lie i want to see him too. he admits its not the best marriage but not the worst either. we knowned each other since we were small kids. anyway to make a long story short, iam pregnant and i dont know how to tell him. because i know what he may say. so im the stupid one to have allowed myself to be in this situation. i dont want to have an abortion, im like Kathy, i dont want this to get back to his wife. i admit i was selfish, but what can i do? its done already. we thought we were being careful, but i still ended up pregnant. i know i can go have an abortion, but its so wrong. i rather give my baby life. and ladies we are on here to support each other, not bash one another. its real life issues thats been going on and will continue to go on. we do have a very loving and supportive relationship. cheating is wrong but im not all to blame, he has his faults too. if ive done wrong let me deal with it, i will suffer for any wrong doing of mine. and some women honestly dont mean for these things to happen, but they just do. what is it to you if im knocked up by this man. sure you will bash it, but what does it really mean to you? im the one who will have to deal with this situation not you. Kathy sounds like she didnt mean for it to happen just as i didnt. but sometimes we do fall in love. sometimes its very hard not to love a person when you really do. i dont want his wife to get hurt, i know having an abortion, will just save him really. so am i to kill my baby for him? regardless if he wants this baby or not, i do, i thought i could just move away and never see him again. my child will not be loved less because hes not there, but i dont know he may want to be active in this baby life. you see i know any married woman would hate me, and she will bash me. but if in my heart i dont want to abort why should i? who am i pleasing? yes i love him, if youre wondering, do he loves me? he says he does, but what if he doesn't? i guess i was weak for this man, and never thought in a million years i could be in a relationship like this. im 34 with a 6 year old daughter, she is thrilled about her mommy having a baby, because its her little bro. or sis. kathy you have your baby if its what you want to do, dont have an abortion you will be haunted by that, i know i was like 5 years ago i had an abortion and it tortured me. you know something i let him know that i would never have an abortion ever again. he still continued relations with me. we were protected in the beginning, but then he didnt want to use protection. so women like Kathy and myself have to deal with this the best way we know how. but i wouldnt kill my baby. i pray and ask God for forgiveness and to help me not to get caught up, but was it wrong to love? no but it was wrong to love him if he wasnt mine to begin with, but i'll always love him. so best of luck to all.

Never done anything to "hurt" his family??? Um, how about having an affair for 8 years!

I sleep with plenty of married men who have PHD's, Master's, and have jobs in high places.