Have A Situation

14 Replies
Mom_X_3 - August 21

Okay, I'm not a teen mom anymore, but I was one. I have a 4 year old, a 3 year old, a 4 month old and just forund out I'm expecting again. The good news is that I'm with my husband, who fathered all the kids and is working hard for us. The bad news is that I'm not sure I can handle 4 kids under 5. I will be 21 when this baby is born but am considering abortion. There's a good chance I won't be able to do it, though, after seeing the sonogram. It really sucks because I feel like a giant hypocrite because I hate abortion. I am getting sterilized either way when I'm 21 and I was using condoms/spermicide when I found out. I was on my way to get an IUD when they said I am pregnant. My head is swimming with this news. I was just wondering what others would do in my situation.

 

ashley_1991 - August 21

hey im a young mom i am 16 and im having my second baby ill be 17 when its born though and i had my first at 14. I dont really know what i would do, i mean can you guys support another child finacially? or are you just worried about the stress level?

 

Mom_X_3 - August 21

We really can't afford it and I also have an ADHD child, my 4 year old. I just fel terrible, because I love kids. I know others who make due with what they have, but all the kids (I know) suffer because there's not enough attention or money to go around.

 

Mom_X_3 - August 21

Let me re-phrase that: My kids don't really do without, but I'm from a family with 6 kids and I know many families with many kids and it sucks for them. I just don't want to be unfair, but it seems there's no way to avoid it.

 

ashley_1991 - August 21

if you are worried about not being able to to afford the baby and such and you sound like you have have your hands full, maybe an alternative would be in your best ineterest (not judging you or anything) i know you said you dont agree with abortions and im on the same page there with you ,., have you considered adoption ?

 

newbaby2009 - August 21

yes, please consider adoption. Then you could still watch him/her grow up and still be apart of their life.

 

Mom_X_3 - August 21

I have considered that but I don't know. My family is all for "caring for their own" if you will and if I did it my mom would turn her back on me. I need her help on some things. She watches my kids when I need a sitter because we can't afford a sitter we would have to pay. I don't know. There's a pretty good chance I'll keep it. If IT looks like anything other than a blob on the screen and has a beating heart, I'll probably end up not being able to go through with it. Oh, pregnancy is hard on me because I have major back problems. It's caving in on the bottom and causes me constant pain.

 

Mom_X_3 - August 21

Thank you guys though for not judging me. I have been prolife since learning about stages in pregnancy and abortion procedures. I guess I just needed to talk about this. I haven't told anyone but my husband ad sister until I know what I'm going to do.

 

HeavenisMine - August 21

It's sounds so scary. I can tell you a story that might help though. My mother has five of us, and she wanted to stop at four (I was the fourth). Well we weren't very well to do, I mean I don't want to go into the whole "wah wah I lived in poverty" tangent, but let's just say I imagine three children can be hard enough to raise even on a steady salary. Well she got pregnant in the midst of a court hearing with my father, I won't go into that either, but he was put in jail for two years. So she did it all on her own with what little money he could send her, and was seriously considering putting my brother up for adoption. She took care of us until he was born and took on five babies while still paying the baby sitters what little she had, and long story short she is still alive, we're all grown now, and it has had an amazing story behind it. So you can do it, it can be done, not easily, but you can definitely emerge stronger afterwards, and now I look at what my mother survived through every time I feel afraid of facing parenthood. (I only have one baby right now, and one on the way so it's a tad different). I just wanted to offer some words of hope and encouragement, and thank God my father has emerged a much better person and very reliable from all this.

 

newbaby2009 - August 21

I know i could NEVER have an abortion and i dont think i could give a child up for adoption either. But thats easy for me to say b/c im not in the situation. Maybe if i knew there was no way i could support the child and it wouldnt have a good life with me, then i could. But i would do everything in my power to try to make it where i could keep him/her. If you're considering abortion you can chose not to have an ultrasound if that makes it easier. Are you getting your tubes tied? Here thay wont do that unless you're over 25.

 

AddysMummy - August 21

Oh wow, I'm really sorry. That's a really difficult situation. I think you need to sit down with your husband and talk to him about it. I think it might make you feel a lot better. My husband would be 100% AGAINST it because of his religion, but I know I'd be in the same position as you. I think you need to discuss your feelings, weigh out the pros and cons hun. Sure some people would say it's unfair to the baby to be aborted, but is it really fair to put your current kids through all that? What would be best and not just for you, but for your kids as well? For your marriage and for your current life? I wish you all the best and I hope you and your husband decide to make the choice that is best for your FAMILY. Good luck, prayers to you.

 

Mom_X_3 - August 21

I talked to my ob/gyn and they said I could get my tubes tied next year. I live in Illinois. Thanks for all the encouragement and support. I will be discussing this with my husband and deciding what we are going to do. I will let you guys know either way after Sep. 5, that's when my termination appointment is. I'm really on the fence right now. BTW, I don't have internet at home, I'm at the library, so if I don't answer something right away it's because of that. Again, thank you everyone.

 

AddysMummy - August 21

Good luck, hun. It must be really tough on you.

 

newbaby2009 - August 21

Keep us updated, and good luck.

 

HeavenisMine - August 21

Best wishes on whatever decision you decide to make,

 

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