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I just realized this is my third time posting about this problem >.<

Aww, you need to try and focus on Ellie and her infancy. You're going to want another even more once shes 1 or so and you realize your baby isnt a baby anymore. I always wanted my children close in age but not so close i felt i cheated Rylie out of anything. Though i still worry with them being only 20 months apart.

I think the best thing to do is really do some soul searching and pinpoint why this thought makes you depressed, why you are looking at baby and maternity items. The answer may suprise you and in itself help you work out of wanting another baby. Like for example-it could be the comparison of how your life was then and how it is now. Before you had the most amazing thing happening to your body, the excitement of getting ready for a baby, it's like sky diving for an adrenaline junkie. Now things are pretty anti-climatic. Your sitting there, empty (pregnancy makes you feel like you have purpose) with a baby, who cries, and sleeps all of the time, and your doing the same thing day in and day out. Being pregnant again seems like it would give you that excitement again-the thing is that it won't. If you find that this is the issue then you just have to remind yourself that pregnancy won't be as fun as it was the first time, because not only will you be pregnant, you will be trying to take care of Ellie. You'll be tired, you'll be sick, you'll be b___stfeeding, and unable to sleep, you'll be trying to go to school. Then pregnancy ends and then your left right where you are now, but now with two small children. One who is just getting mobile as you are recovering from labor and delivery, and another that is going through the crying, not sleeping, and b___stfeeding. You will have gained back all the weight and have to start over in losing it, but you'll have less time to focus on it, your b___bs will be unrecognizable because they never got a chance to bounce back. They got stretched out with pregnancy, stretched further with milk, expanding and emptying from b___stfeeding, and then the time that they would have had a chance to try to recover and get some elasticity back, you stretched them out again with another pregnancy, then milk again, then a baby sucking it dry and pulling on it. Sad to say it, but not even your young body will be able to handle that.

Another deep issue could be what Newbaby mentioned-that as Ellie gets older, it's like you long for the previous stage sooo much, but you have to remind yourself that the next baby will come and be 3 months old, and you'll be depressed because you realized you have shorthanded Ellie and haven't given her all you could have for the past year because you were dealing with pregnancy (and God forbid if you have a pregnancy related problem) and then another infant. Then on top of that you have once again the same feeling because that baby is growing so fast. As I mentioned previously, pregnancy ends, and it sucks when it does, but even getting pregnant again, it will end. So you have to pick the best time so you can really cherish it, because it ends and you only have so many times you're going to experience it in your lifetime. Doing it again now will just be a problem for you, for Harold, and for Ellie. You have to remind yourself of these things constantly and it really will get better. Also give yourself some time to feel out motherhood some more to really see if you want to have double the trouble. I felt the way you did for so long, and I have to say thta I'm so glad that I didn't have another baby, because now I see how hard a toddler is, and I can't imagine trying to handle him and another baby. I'd be 6 feet under. I really missed being pregnant and wanted to go through the excitement again, but since I have the chance to look back on it, I can see that it would have sucked and I really want to enjoy pregnancy and having a baby. So I'm glad that I still get that chance, and you will too-trust me on this-I'll find you two years from now and we will look back on this and you will so get what I mean.

It's not even just being pregnant again. I want another kid! The whole sha-banga-bang. And really, because I'm with Ellie all the time the only way I can tell she's getting bigger is when her clothes get smaller. Like I said, I don't want to be selfish, I know it's unfair to Ellie, Harold and the other baby. I know everyone would be happier if I waited but I'm so impatient with it (which is really surprising because I'm pretty patient about everything) I really don't get it. Everyone thinks I'm crazy haha

You really just need to do your best to focus on Ellie :( It will take a little but it WILL go away..

I saw your new pics and now I GET why you want to have another baby!!!!

Hahaha, I just want to double the amazingness!

Yeah, your family does look amazing. Those new pics of all three of you together are soooo awesome. Attractive little family-it's almost singful. Again I say, the government should pay you and ur bf to reproduce. :)

lol amanda- ive never seen your family :( lol i have myspace but i never use it (cant figure out how) i use facebook instead, but id love to see your family lol

Haha, well that's okay because I can't figure out facebook! I can e-mail you some pics if you want. What's your address?