I Need Help My Girlfriend Is Pregnant
4 Replies
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Hello everyone, i am 24 years old, my girlfriend is 22, we have an eleven month relationship. Like all relations we have good and bads moments, but lately we have benn fighting for stupid and also for importants stuff(the fight are in increase). Well here the thing, we start having s_x in recently and she take anticoncpetive pills. I have a problem with that i ask her that we use condoms too, but she refuses, because she have a really bad memory with condoms from an other relationship. Well about 2 weeks ago she told me that she is pregnant, the problem is that i told her that i didnt want babys until 3 o 4 more years.
So for me and for my family this are bad news, but her family is happy. The thing is that i have so much doubs, the worst of all is that i dont know if a still love her. help please of what to do
NOTE: we decided to keep the baby.
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Please consider the possibility that your fights relate to the emotional changes caused by pregnancy hormones.
The marriage decision is influenced by the culture you live in. In America 70% of the firstborn children of women under 25 are born to unmarried mothers. You may also want to factor in the possibility that she intended to get pregnant - proper use of contraceptive pills is very effective.
You are the father of this child, and you have a lifetime reponsibility to it. That responsibility is easiest to exercise from inside a marriage. So far what you have felt for each other is infatuation with s_xual overtones. Now you have to decide if you can together make this a relationship of true love. That takes time and hard work.
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first of all, thank you for your reply. My own mother told me that I have been set up. But that is so mind-breaker, to think that my own girl will do that to me, its break my nervs, so for mental health, I convince myself that is imposible.
I am a good guy, I will and I am making responsible for that baby, my relationship with this girl is what i have doubts in. Also the story is much larger than this, this is just an abstract.
But just to summarize negative points that we have, are the following:
- different religions both of us
- my work doesnt give so much money, her parents no money, my parents no money
- she never listen to me, she is so more inmature than I
- we are not yet a team, always figting for stupid things
etc, I want things to work, but Am i forcing something that it doesnt and i will never work??
Positive things:
- we are studying the same career.
- she is funny and make me laugh and viceversa
- she is so positive about everything
- when we are ok, things go great
- i have to say it, for a man its important, great s_x
- we have the same hobbies
etc, Can anyone tell me if having doubs make me the bad guy about this??
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You missed the most negative item - your mother objects. She has more influence over your att_tude toward the girlfriend than you are willing to admit. The religion thing can be serious unless you are just nominally religious, but not devoted. Your other objections will pa__s in time. You will have more money, she will grow up (especially with a baby to look after). I see some positives here that many married men would love to have - great s_x, common interests, a happy and positive disposition. All of life is a gamble. You have together decided to keep the baby. My money is on you being able to make this relationship work. It may take five years. It will take you learning to put your mother's influence firmly and politely aside. But in the long run you will end up the happpier man. Good luck!
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Again, thank you for your comments, I feel a litle better now, I will try my hardest. I will let you know here how things are going, thanks, bye
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