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I just want to add my reasoning so I don't sound so selfish. During my second pregnancy, my sister in law threw me a surprise baby shower at a local restaurant. It was so informal and I felt like we were bolted to our seats. I never really got over how bad my sister in laws shower went. I want to be able to mingle and walk around during the shower. One more thing, there are more than fifty women invited. Think about how long the table would have to be!

Hi...I just had my shower about a week or so ago and I didn't like the fact that it was in the morning...brunch style. I live 2000 miles away from my family, so this was thrown by Dh's sister and aunt...and everyone at the shower would pretty much be his family that I only see at major holidays. I have made a few friends since moving here to marry DH but because it was in the morning none of my friends could make it because they work in the afternoons on saturdays (some work at their 2nd job on saturdays...so they really couldn't afford to take the day off just for the shower). So, I didn't know what to do because no one even asked me what I WOULD WANT...they just did it (and it wasn't a surprise thing) and that kind of bummed me out cuz it's for me, but no one consulted me on what I'd like for my very first shower. I tried to hint at what I wanted...but no one was taking it seriously. So, I just decided that I was going to change my outlook...I was going to be happy and grateful that they were throwing it for me and i was going to be determined to have a good time even if none of my friends could be there. I mean, seriously...I was in the same boat you are in now..."WHAT DO I DO?" was all I could think. I didn't want to offend anyone and I didn't want to seem selfish, so I just went without any expectations of how it should be. And when i got there I was surprised that 2 of my friends were able to make it and the shower was quite lovely and I had an AMAZING time! Looking back, I'm glad that I didn't make a big deal over it and just let them enjoy taking care of me and blessing me on "my special day". So, I'm not saying that's what you should do, I'm just saying that I understand your frustrations. Ultimately you've got to weigh the pros and cons of going to a shower that you are setting up in your mind won't be a good one, or telling your friends that you don't want the shower because they are unwilling to have it at your house. Really think about both before you do anything... Good luck to you. I hope it all works out for you.

I would call each of them and actually talk to them about it. I am sure they will understand. Afterall, it is your shower.

I agreed you should voice your opinion and see what they do. I will say I have been to several showers that were at restarants. Usually they have them in rooms that are reserved just for the party and there are lots of smaller tables so it enables people to move around and mingle. I dont know where they are planning yours for, but the ones I have been to have been pretty nice. Plus there is no clean up for anyone afterward. :o)

Hmmm... maybe they have something special planned at the resturaunt? Maybe they are not the best hostesses- and don't want to mess with cooking and cleaning and prepping for a party in a home? Maybe they don't want you to exert any effort- and want you to relax, hence declining your offer to have it at your house? 50 people is a BIG shower! I would voice that you hope there will be a room for your occasion... I don't know how you'd do it any other way. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

Thanks everyone for your kind responses. I am going to try and talk with the lead person in this once more and see if I can make any difference. If not i will just go with the flow. if we did do it at my house I wouldn't have to do anything. I was thinking a large platter of fajitas from the local Mexican food restaurant, paper plates, and having a cleaning crew come afterwords. I will let everyone know what the verdict is.

Hey Tonigirl! There you are!!! I haven't seen you since we were WAY back on the 'signs of pregnancy' board! How are you???

Oops I got so excited I forgot to add my 2 cents before hitting submit lol! I can fully understand why you would want to have some say in how your baby shower takes place! I insisted on helping arrange mine(after my 30th b-day disaster - my sister decided to throw me a 30th/Xmas party at her house as she always has an Xmas party so she figured she'd kill two birds with one stone I guess). Only 2 yes that's TWO of my friends showed up...it SUCKED!!! So I think you have every right to make sure you have an enjoyable shower!

Hey jane...I started a thread for us...great to hear from you!