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Hey, This is for the people who want or wanted multiples.
I was just wondering why people want to have multiples. I'm not being mean or anything just curious. Is it because you want to have your babies at the same time for one reason or another. For example your husband only wants one more baby and you want more than that or you only want to go through labor one time and preferably get multiple babies out of the deal. Is it that you want the oohing and ahhing and attention that comes along with multiples? Is it that you want them to be able to grow up playing and being together. Or maybe that you were part of a set of mulitiples and you want them to feel as close the their brother(s) or sister(s) as you did? I'm just wondering because I am going in for an ultrasound to see if it's multiples and I'm hoping it's not. partly because one baby at a time is a little easier on the pocketbook. but mostly because I want to give one baby my attention for the next few years without having to divide it up. I've always kind of been a "pick favorites" person and although I don't think I could pick favorites between my children I would always be worrying if I was giving them equal attention. Let me know why you want (or wanted) multiples!
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hi,
well...there are all the reasons you mentioned and probably a couple more....for many of us wanting multiples...it is becoming such a increased desire in many women of today becasue medially it seems to become more and more possible to achieve this...many the factors being that alot of us have the pocket and the ability to love all of our kids and give them atttention equally (well, i know i have)...and find it essential that children do not get all the attention to themselves and learn to share love from their parents with their siblings. in the end this is much more healthier for them...and their future!!!some of us want to get them out of the way in one go, expercince pregnancy and childbirth only once...etc etc.....everyone has their own reasons....
one has to understand that although for some this is not something to be greedy about...for others it may be essential for one reason or another...and could and would be also beneficial....
i wanted multiples because i want a big family and my husband although interested hates me going through pregnancy...due to all the restriciton, weight gain, moodyness..he finds the whole process stressfulll and i also go easy on the bd...LOL if you know what i mean...he also finds the first couple of years i.e. 0-3 quite stressful...so really after number 2 he was adament to give any more children a miss..so to speak...but for me that was and is out of the question...it would feel i have to deny myself the most natural thing in the world..and it would leave a huge void if i were to have to follow his choice...it could even effect my marrriage....so we settled on trying one more time and settled on 3...because i actually wanted 4 all my life (as long as i can rememeber since i was a young women) i knew that three wont still be enough...then there is my career and our living situation which i dont feel the need to go through...i strongly belive that all children come with their own bread and b___ter...and i strongly believe somehow god provides for them with the basics to begin with..but of course one should see that for a more profound future this should not be taken lightly and one ends up with 10!!!!LOL..but..if it is meant to be it is meant to be that you have many children....
i hence took clomid to enhance my chances so i wont have to struggle nagging him after my third....LOL....i thought..i give it a shot and if it meant to be it is...but it wasn't but at least i felt i tried....to give myself somehwat of an increased chance....it has helped though becasue when my husband found out the length i went to achieve my big family of 4...he now doesnt seem to bat an eyelid if i mention that after my third i will begin TTC straight for my 4th!LOL......so in a way...taking clomid the way i did...has eventually helped me achieve my wish of 4 children...i am currently pregnant at 11 weeks+ with a singleton...and looking forward to a healthy pregnancy and a gorgeous baby!!!!i wanted multiples....to avoid...stress in my marriage....to avoid all sorts of other issues that rose up becasue my partenr made it out to be that it would affect our lives too much...it took me some extreme measure to convince him actually it does not.....i have plenty of love to give to all my children...and i know from personal experiecne there is nothing better than having a whole load of brothers and sisters as children and as adults....its the best gift one can have.....
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wow! I hope you achieve the big family you're looking for Yas2000. Thanks for the great response. Is there anyone else? I'd like to hear several points of view! Even if you just say two heads are better than one (not that anyone would want a two headed baby...lol) , no answer is a bad answer. Thanks!
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i don't really know why exactly. well, maybe because i am fascinated with them, especially identicals, how 2 people can be so similar is just amazing. and then i would love to have 2 babies at the same time so, sure it doubles the work but it also doubles the excitement and pleasure you get from 1 baby! i think they are miracles.
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I never had the desire or fantasy for have multiples, but being a mother of multiples I can say that although there are more babies to love there are also more babies to feed, clothe, bath, listen to while they scream, take care of when they are sick, take to the doctor, protect from illness, get them through school, little league, dance, whatever. So there is more to having multiples than "2/3/4 cute babies".
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I never actively sought to have multiples, but I'm blessed to have them now. In the end, the risks of attempting to have multiples outweigh any benefits. That translates to pure selfishness for any woman trying to achieve multiples. There is no ultruistic reason to risk the lives and health of your children.
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I never thought about multiples or desired them. All I know is even though I had no issues during my pregnancy, I was terrified every moment of losing one or both. Too many things can go wrong any minute. Singleton pregnancies are scary enough. I have no desire to go through another multiple pregnancy again. I don't think my body can take it anyway.
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Although I never actually tried for twins/multiples, I guess I always thought/hoped I would have twins since I was about 6 years old. Wierd I know, but back then I always said I would have 6 children (3 sets of twins mind you...lol) so I guess my fascination for twins has been since I was just a little girl. Nothing I can control and I don't know why! I also find the bond between twins I have know to be amazing and would love to be able to give that gift to my children. I should also say that Identical twins have always held more of a fascination for me than fraternal, twins have a special bond with each other that none of us singletons will ever have and I think that is so special :) I am only having a singleton but still visit this board on occasion to see how others are doing, I'm happy to be be having my 1 healthy bub, twins would have been an extra blessing but in reality 1 is better for myself and my family at this point in our lives anyway, so that is basically my reasons...however i do beleive there are some out there who want twins only for the attention, for eg, a woman on another message board whom I know would totally ignore and even bad mouth certain other women, until she found out they were having twins, then all of a sudden she was their best buddy, it was like, be friends with the lady pg with twins and everyone will like her...stupid if you ask me, you either like someone or you don't, you don't change your mind just because said person is all of a sudden expecting twins, but this woman is very compet_tive and attention seeking which I think has allot to do with it....attention seeking can do wierd things to some women...lol
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