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As you can remember, I've posted here about putting my unborn child into adoption (back in Sept. 2012). I was looking for a loving family at that time, who would like to adopt a baby and is interested in adopting an unborn baby. At that time I don't really know what to do, hence my pregnancy is not expected plus I am working as a housemaid/housekeeper at that time to be able to help my family in the province. I came from a very poor family where I have to find a job and work at the age of 16 (that was when after my high school graduation) to be able to help my parents, because I know how hard our life is in the province (and I myself is a witness because I used to work as a laborer in the farm just to finish high school and survive in life and to be able to help my parents too while studying too).
I was just an innocent woman when I met the guy who made me fall in love who took advantage of my innocence and who make me believed that he loves me that much. Until one I've found out that he cheated on me and that he is dating too women while having an affair with me. How I wish I was not that innocent at that ti so I wouldn't have to fall into his trap, but let's just say that everything's happen for a reason and it is not a crime to fall for someone, I'm only human and sometimes I make mistakes, but how I wish I was fully matured at that time so I wouldn't have to suffered my situation right now.
I've lost my job during my 4 months pregnancy at that time i have no where to go, I've tried to contact the guy whom I get physically involved with but I cannot contact him anymore. I have no where to go and don't even know what to do at that time because my parents doesn't even know about what had happen to me. And I'm sure if they'll find out about it, it's either they'll get disappointed with or simply get mad at me. My parents trusted me that's why I choose not to tell them about what had happen, I could not even explain to them of why I got kicked out from my job as a housekeeper/housemaid, I am just kind hopeless and helpless at that time.
I found this forum site during my 3 months pregnancy and I've tried to find a loving family who would like to adopt my baby in the future once I give birth. I have receive tons of emails that showed love and interest on adopting my baby. I gave birth in Febuary 10 2013, and it's a baby boy a healthy baby boy, a cute and handsome baby boy. I supposed to give my son to the one who wants to adopt him, but when I saw my baby boy's face I realized not to give him up into adoption. I've been through so many trials because I am a single mom, I've been trying so hard to raise him up and now he is 7 months old, I found a good person who help me with my son a very good person and I am very much thankful that he gave such wonderful creation who was able to help me during my labor and through the months of taking good care of my baby until he reach this age (7 months old).
My little angel is so cute and his smile makes me complete, I've thought everything went tough, one day the person who used to helped me raising my little boy suddenly gone, I don't know the reason why, I was thinking that maybe he has a wife and yet he didn't tell me about it. I don't know everything is still questionable, He was the one who give us a shelter, and help us with food, one day he told me that he needs vacation somewhere, but he promised that he will contact me as soon as he arrive in his destination. Until one month later I didn't hear from him anymore.
It's really hard because I'm alone and there is no one that I could lean onto, there is no one who'd listen to me, the landlady keep on asking us when I'm gonna pay my apartment bills, water bills and electricity bills but then I asked her to just wait until the person who is helping will get back from his vacation, until another month has gone and yet I didn't hear from him, I was so stressed and depressed because I don't have a job and I cannot work too because there is no one who will take good care of my son. It seems that the person who used to help me with my son and who provide us with what our needs and bills is now gone. The landlady is keep on warning us that if I could not pay my unpaid bills she have to kick us out and I understand that because that's the rules, she doesn't want me to overstayed in her apartment.
Now the time has come, and she's been giving only until tomorrow to stay in this apartment i just don't know what to do, we do not have water to use since the last 2 days due to unpaid water bills and what was I'm thinking is my son's sake, I am so confused and thinking too much and a bit depressed. Now I don't know what to do and where should I do, there is a lot of questions that popped up in my mind now, I felt so helpless asking why those people who are willing to help don't stay long.
Now I'm asking myself If I would put my 7 months old child into adoption? I am confused, But i cannot feed him up or give up milk during the next few days. Though I want to keep my child and raised him up but I have nothing for now, there is no one who could help me and give me assistance, i don't know anyone here in the city, if only I have money I can start a small business to survive in my situation and to be able tio support my child the way that I can.
But please I need all your advice because my head is burning, please anyone email me at dsweetsurrender at gmail dot com I need an advice I''m s tired and I'm about to give up.
i residing in the Philippines and if you want to see me and my son on cam just tell me or email me at (dsweetsurrender at gmail dot com) so I can go to the net cafe
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