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Just to spark some interesting conversation I thought I'd set up a thread for us ladies to discuss our feelings on starting families in our 20's vs. waiting til our 30's to ttc. What prompted this thread is the feeling that I'm getting from many members here who tend to scoff at women in their late 20's who feel they're too close to their cut off age for comfort. I actually came to find pregnancy-info.net when doing a google search on the phrase "best age to get pregnant" and lo and behold I stumbled upon an entire category on that very subject. :) I am 27 and already have two children and have always wanted three. For years I always swore my cut off age for having babies was (you guessed it) 27! So now me and the hubby are ttc again and despite knowing I'm certainly not OLD, I just feel very close to an age range where I'm not comfortable having a baby. Do I think every woman should get er done and over with right away? Certainly not. I'm sure there a lot of wonderful 35, h__l even 45 year old women who will make loving moms. I understand that many women made decisions that were right for them and focused on career and themselves before making the decision to start their family. I commend them for that. I just personally don't want to be 60 when my child is graduating from high school. So, that's my take on it ladies....I'm interested to know what others think.......
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Well, just as a side, some women don't "make that decision". I got pregnant with my dd when I was 27, I'm now 34 and always planned for my daughter to have a sib, unfortunately it hasn't happened yet. We're still trying though.
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Well this debate is something that I have battled with for a few years now. I have the great career and a group of friends none of whom have babies. I'm hundreds of miles from any family due to my job and I constantly wonder if I'll be able to do it without them being around. Then one day something just clicked. Suddenly it went from being something that I was worried I'd never know when to do, to being something that feels right for me and my hubs. I'm 26 and I've wondered about this since I was 23! At 25 and a half, to be precise, it just fell into place. Having my career now means I have lots in the bank saved and ear marked for babies, a good house and we live somewhere that I'd like to bring my kids up. Plus me and my hubs have had time to get things out of system. I was the first of my firends to marry and I think I'll probably be the first to have kids, but I'm not worried anymore. I just know it's right for us.
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I'm 27 just starting a family b/c I just now feel ready. I thought I wouldn't be ready until 30, but like rj said something just clicks. I have heard doctors and women say that 27 is the perfect age to have a baby, for some reason?? Lawlady, don't get too discouraged just yet. My SIL had exactly the same thing happen- dd when she was 27, started trying again about 4 years later and just concieved this past July- she's now 36 and ecstatic. It's like she's mellowed out by now and really enjoying this pregnancy and dd is going to make a great "MOM Jr". They were going to stop trying in after August- she felt she was getting too old, but God had it all worked out :)
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I agree with you ruinous79! I'm 21 years old and I want to start my family now and have all of my children and be done before I'm 30. I'm not pregnant yet, as far as I know, but we are certainly trying right now and so far my period is 2 days late, so we'll wait and see, but I definitely feel the same way you do.
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I had my oldest daughter when I was 20 and my second daughter when I was 22 and it's tough, but if nothing else it will teach you to get your priorities in order with a quickness. I think it also helps you put life's challenges in perspective. It really cracks me up to see gals my age who have no kids get stressed over the silliest things!! I enjoy my girls so much and am hoping and praying for a little boy this time around to make our family complete. Good luck to you marhar7106, and to borrow the phrase I find most adorable on this forum: "baby dust!" :)
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Thanks for your kind words happyface. Not giving up at all. As long as we can still ... (TMI), we'll keep trying :}
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I think deciding when to have a family is a personal chioce. My dd was kind of a surprise. I was on bc and she decided to coem anyways. I had her at 20. I have a great career now (kinda came after my dd). My dh was my bf back then but we got married right before my dd turned 2.(last year). We are financially stable my dh works a daytime job and owns his own business and i work in a roofing company. I am now preg with number 2 also not planned but i am happy and my dd will be almost 3 1/2 by the time our next baby comes. I didnt plan to have kids so early but sometimes the best things in life arent planned. I am happy with the way our life has turned out. I am 23 and have a stable career making good money and own my own home as well as my own car. Me and my dh have been together since I was 14 years old.
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Good for you kristin! im 23 and my dh is 22. weve just got our bfp and the baby's due in july. we also met young - 16. weve been married for one year and a half and feel ready now to start our family - mum had me when she was 23 and his mum was 21 and we both really appreciate having young parents! all the best with ur second pregnancy!
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I was 24 when I had my son and have no regrets. I had already graduated college with a Master's Degree and have my career underway. I think the right time is different for everyone.
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thanks dawny and congratulations to you too. My mom was 20 with my sister and had me at 27. She is 49 now and still young enough to play with her grandchildren. I love that tooo.
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I'm 25 and I just found out that i'm pregnant on new years day and I'm thrill.I think mid 20's is a good age for myself, but it's different for everyone..
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I agree with lawlady72: Some women don't make that decision. If you're young, in a happy stable relationship, it's something you both really want and it happens, then you don't know how lucky you are! I am in my mid 30's and only met the perfect father for my future child 1,5 years ago. And although he is slowly coming round to the idea, he isn't eager to start a family. I don't begrudge mums in their 20's anything because I wasn't ready back then, but you can't "order" a baby when you feel like having one.
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hey, girls!! well ya know i thought i had it all figured out ...i planned to have at least 2 kids before i turned 30 but looks like thats not happening because i will be the big 3 0 next month...thank god i have 1 precious little girl that will be 6 in april..but ya know i want her to grow up with a little brother or sister...my plan was to have 2 kids that were no more than 2 1/2 years apart...so they would be close...but it was not in God's plan for that to be...i've been on clomid...2 invitros..and nothing yet...we are still trying...i always thought the best age to get prego was mid 20's but man..any age would be great to me now...me and my husband have decided if we don't get preg within the next year we are going to adopt...i mean i would love to have another child of my own..but i know without a doubt if its God's plan to adopt a child i will love it just as much as if it were my bio child...good luck to everyone and God Bless!!!!!
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I think many people make a big deal about the "perfect" age. I admit I'm one of them! I'm 28 and no kids yet, but I can't wait til I'm a mom. It seems to me many couples are waiting til late 20's early 3o's more often these days. But it also seems like there will never be a "perfect time" to have a baby so my hubby and I are just going to go for it this spring.
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I think waiting till ur in your mid 20's to late 20's is a good time to start. It seems more and more people are having kids later in life and being 35 and having your first is very common these days. I am 29 and preg with my second. I had my first at 24 and looking back i feel i was to young.
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