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I am 23 years old. Since I turned about 19 or so, I've been obsessed about having a child. It's gotten progressively worse over the years. There is not a day that goes by where I dont think about it and oftentimes I go through periods where I think about it constantly. This in and of itself is not so troubling - it's more that it's deeply depressing for me. Whenever I see a family on tv or in real life I am deeply saddened. I feel a very deep emptiness and sense of longing. I even get jealous of people who have children. It's almost unbearable at times. Try as I might to focus on my career and other things in life, it doesn't alleviate this.
I believe that I lost a very early pregnancy when I was 20. I'm sure that this plays a role. However, I can't help but feel like this isn't normal for someone at my age. Logically, I realize that I am too young to start a family, but can't help but want one now, anyway. I am in a relationship with someone who wants to wait, understandably so, but I know that if I were with someone who didn't want to wait, I would be having a family.
I guess I'm wondering if this is normal, if anyone else has experienced something like this and what they've done about it. Thanks.
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Lots of women have experienced these feelings! It is instinctual for us to multiply-we are baby factories! Your biological clock is ticking and this is natural. I have been happily married for almost 2 years right now. I am 21 and my husband is 20. We are very excited about starting our family as well. We,also, like you, realize that it is not what is "expected" of people our age. But only you can be the judge of that. Try not to focus on the yearnig as much as what's best for your child. We have been doing pre pregnancy planning for a while now to help educate us on finances of raising a child, charting my cycles, getting our bodies prepared etc. and after doing this together it has made us comfortable and even more excited to be trying. Having things in place and being prepared will be best and less stressful for all involved. Since there is a lot of effort going into ttc, try working on diet and excersize. Start charting to get to know your body and prepare yourself to carry a child and be a healthy and happy mother. By doing pre-pregnancy planning, it helps you and your partner to talk comfortably about it, and familiarize together about all the things involved. It is a good bonding experience and will help things to move smoothly and quickly when you decide you are ready to actually try!
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I agree with jstar. Tons of women have felt the same. I myself feel the same way. What's worse right now is that all of my dh's coworkers have pg wives....but they "accidentally" got pg, if you understand my meaning. Its frustrating for me because I want a child now, I'd like to be done having kids by 30. And we've got enough family and friends around to support us emotionally and financially. I recently had symptoms to think I was pg, did three tests that came out neg, and had the world's wierdest period, and still think i am. You never know. Anyway, maybe you should talk to him about wanting children.
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You feelings are totally understandable, but you will have children in the furture (I am a__suming) and so you should be living out your life to the fullest beforehand! Things CHANGE when you have kids and you really do have alot less freedom to do the things you can do now. I am 23 also, my husband and I are expecting baby #3. I don't think I am "too young" as you suggested, but I will say that I missed alot of my young years and alot of freedom.
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Wow. When I read your post I freaked because I am going through the exact SAME situation! I am baby crazy, I am 23, and I lost a pregnancy at 20. Crazy. I do not think you are too young to start a family. It is normal to want children especially if you have gone through a m/c. Some days I want a baby so bad that I physically hurt! (I know that is strange) You should talk to your significant other and come to an agreement about when you might want to start. If his is too late and yours is too early find a middle ground to meet. My DH and I are both baby crazy but I am the one holding back because I really need to finish school. In the meantime we have a 'baby box'. Once in a while when we are really feeling the family vibe, we go and buy something small to put in the box. It helps with the fix sometimes. So you are not the only one! :)
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Loblolly, that is such a cute idea. Not to mention really good. I should talk about that with my dh, go get a box of our own so we can do that. Great idea!
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