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I don't think a single person has said that teenagers are bad mothers. That's just what you're hearing, because you're not actually listening to what's said. In addition, nobody has given any of the girls that have accidentally stumbled into pregnancy any trouble. It's the little girls that are intentionally trying to have a baby that they b___h at.

I agree with Lin 100%, people tend to hear what they want and not what anyone is actually saying.

Lin & Bonnie, that is exactly what people are saying, read between the lines. The words bad mom may not have been said but it is intended. Good for you proud mama, i agree with you 100%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would have to agree with Beth. There is definitely a tone of condescending that is aimed at anyone who is a young mother.

I don't know if a forum should be used as a tool to decide whether to have a child and the older women broadcast very loudly and clearly warnings to the younger ones from their own experiences . As an older person I just don't like the way they go about it because it is condescending I always hated the way the threads would unfold toward younger women . Whether you are young or older all families come with trials and tribulations but in the long run it is an extension of ourselves and a compliment to each other . I don't see anything wrong with people explaining that having a child should be more than an egg and sperm but regardless it is a continuous permanant life experience . Starting a family and raising our children never goes according to plan if it did it would take the experience right out of it and unless you are a millionaire you will never be able to forsee financial strains from time to time regardless the degree of education you have . I wonder equally about the children who grow up in day cares and with parents who are seldom around in their childrens lives because they both have good careers and are living in a world of relative cost as I do about families who are poor . I would agree the word of this thread is Respect .

I know Proud Mama has good intentions with this thread and I can understand to a point. But we have had plenty of threads like this with so many older moms coming back and saying exactly what Lin said. That no one would say just because you are a teen mom you will be a bad mom, and that we all know accidents can happen that we have to deal with. But no one should become a teen mom on purpose. For those who are saying that they can read that but it is not what is intended and the tone is condescending.....how can you determin a person's intentions and tone when it is written over the internet? Personally, when i read something on this site, I take it for what they have written. You cannot read more into something that what is there. People should stop being so defensive and just take the advice for what it usually is.....advice.

To "to Proud Mama" -- Having a good career does not mean not being in your children's lives or putting them in daycare. Very few people have even mentioned careers, anyway. We've mostly mentioned education and travel. There is nothing condescending about it. Sure, there have been a few idiots who jump in with a b___hy outburst, but no more than on other threads on different topics. Look at the underlying discussion by those actually participating in the whole thing, not every post.

And they it only happens on the teen forum.What bugs me is everyone make gov a__sistaince seam like a bad thing.I am going to throw a little fact out.One third of STARBUCKD employes are collage educated.They work there because if they work 20 hour a week they get full health benifits their job they went to school for doesn't.Men and women of all ages need a little hand up from time to time.Just because some people are lucky enough to have their life go as planed sould make it sound like a bad thing if it doesn't.I don't support teens trying to get pregnant but if it happens they can still be a good mother and overcome beat the odds if they want to.If it wasn't for the goverment some of them wouldn't be able to do better for themself and their child.

Ah but see that is another issue everyone seems to read wrong. I've only seen one person (who was out of line) say that no teens should get Welfare or support. Every other post (and there are tons on this) has always said that teens who purposely ttc knowing they cannot support as child financially should not receive help. A teen who uses protection and ends up pregnant who is trying to do the best she can and make something of herself should most definately receive any aid available to help her.

I think that anyone who requires a__sistance should be able to get it. Almost everyone needs some help at one point or another. Some can get it from their families, some have to apply for government a__sistance. I only object when the people getting the a__sistance are the same people paying for all the extras. I am related to some such people, so I know they are out there. These are the people who have the most expensive electronics and cars and so on but still apply for all the government a__sistance they can qualify for. However, to be 15 (for example) and planning to get pregnant knowing that you will be eligible for government a__sistance is wrong. It is manipulating the system with no intention of trying to make it on your own. In fact, I'm sorry but I find the idea of a 14 or 15 year old mother making it on her own laughable. The odds are rediculous. I certainly applaud the teens who find themselves unexpectedly in that situation and rise to the challenge, but to do it purposely is not smart or laudable.

Living off the government- that is how they pay for their babies.... If you don't want people to say things then don't post! many women offer sound advice,and the teenagers do not want to listen. and being a parent at 16,is not really a good role model,.These girls throwing their lives away,then wanting credit for being a "good mum"course they should be a good mother!!!! There again its teenagers trying to be mature!How are they making trouble.They are more diplomatic than me.I would just call the 14,15 etc slappers,too easy,girls like my mother and sister,I'm ashamed of. All of you young ladies....14, 15, 16, 17 year olds...please go and get some s_x education. How would you feel if you knew your mother couldn't properly take care of YOU!!!!! and these teen moms are living off of welfare and wic, that is no way to raise a child, be a good parents actually vickie ,yea I would like for underage girls to have an abortion.I am sick of the state having to support young girls,and girls who should be at school learning noit pushing prams.if we had a pregnant girl at school she would have been called "an easy lay" "tart"whatever.In fact just after we left school a friend had a baby,I thought she was mad.I am not saying that all adults make excellent parents but I think that they might have a better chance at it.These are not "young women" as you call them. They are kids, barely in the midst of puberty. Stop enabling them. And lets call them what they are. For pete's sake they can't even vote yet!Maybe in the future they can pa__s a law to where all girls must get their ovaries frozen on ice and not reimplanted until a certain age and they pa__s a test to be a mom. Okay, bit of a stretch, but their should be a license or something to have kids.blimey mommy,with good advice like thay,who'd have thought you would have been stupid enough to get pregnant at you age,mistake I suppose,certainly talking like that it would'nt have been planned. I see young girls, no less then 30 a week all coming in for the same thing. If I would ever I mean ever catch my daughter having s_x at a young age or getting pregnant I would make her have an abortion. I will not take care of my grandchild while she is at school.The older ones are pa__sing on valid advice you are not listening too,because like a teenager it is something you don't want to hear.Personally, I think most of you children are beyond stupid ... well done mel,exactly,these young girls trying to get pregant,or had babies in their teens are wasters,indeed what else have they got to offer?Certainly not self respect. If you don't have the money to travel, then you don't have the money to bring up children. saw a fridge magnet once,it said "its easy to be a Dad but it takes someone special to be a real father"..or words similiar,you could use the same for a woman,and meant for a woman to be a mother,not a young girl who should still be in school uniform! THESE WERE ALL COPIED AND PASTED FROM OTHER PEOPLES POSTS ABOUT TEEN PARENTS/PREGNANCY. THIS POST IS FOR LIN AND BONNIE.

I'm not really sure what the point of that was. As I said, I see only one post (the one you listed) where the person was talking about how Welfare shouldn't be used for teenagers whether accidental or not. As far as posts that are more rude or out of line, I see only a handful that you posted....(I would just call the 14,15 etc slappers,too easy,girls like my mother and sister,I'm ashamed of. yea I would like for underage girls to have an abortion.I am sick of the state having to support young girls. If I would ever I mean ever catch my daughter having s_x at a young age or getting pregnant I would make her have an abortion.)..... The rest of it all makes perfect sense to me and not out of line at all. And if you really want to see previous posts where people were rude, should I print and show you the "other side"?

saying a teen has nothing to offer a baby is polite? Living off the government- that is how they pay for their babies, is not outta line? had babies in their teens are wasters,indeed what else have they got to offer?Certainly not self respect. so thats not outta line?meant for a woman to be a mother,not a young girl who should still be in school uniform! so thats not outta line?these teen moms are living off of welfare and wic-thats not outta line? well then let me say...ALL older women who have kids are outta shape. ALL older women who have kids are gonna die soon after their kids reach puberty. ALL older mom are gonna get lazy after the first year or 2. ALL older moms want babies because they are getting bored with life. DO U LIKE TO ALL BE GROUPED TOGETHER? I DOUBT IT.

Go back and read posts from the other side, they are no different. Should you live off the government? No. Should you use the government to help you out in a bad situation while you better yourself? Yes. Big difference. Again, people only read what they want. I wonder if there is a reason for being so defensive? Go back and read all the other posts in those threads. If you want to discuss being polite, maybe you should speak to everyone as a WHOLE and not just the older people....since you don't like grouping people together. P.S. Please register adn post under a permanent name so as not to appear to troll.