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My boyfriend and I are 21 and in university. We had an unplanned pregnancy last summer which ended in miscarriage. We're in a very committed, stable relationship and we would love to have a baby. Since we're both in school we don't have a lot of extra money, but with being in classes only a couple hours a day we wouldn't have to pay child care and would have lots of time with our baby. I have only another year or two left of my degree, and while it seems like we should wait until I finish school, I would really prefer to have a baby while I'm still in school so that I'd be home more. We're both living off scholarships and student loans, which doesn't give us a lot of money, but it's a stable situation, and being in school also gives us benits like subsidized child care if we need it, affordable housing, health plans and free public transport. Even though we're young, this seems like the perfect situation to me. Has anyone here had a baby while going to school? Am I being overly-optimistic in feeling that it would be managable? I'm a good student, and could take a lighter course-load if I had to. We've been thinking about it a lot, but still fear that we'll be veiwed as irresponsible if we try for a baby now, would it be? Any feedback?
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hi i say go gor it if you think the time is right and your are stabel enough to care for a bay so y not you might enjoy it good luck to you and your future
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well I will be 21 next week. I am 37 weeks preg. My boyfriend is also 21, he hasn't finished HS. I have, neither of us have started university. We both work full time. We have an apartment and a ton of debt from Credit cards we got when we were younger. So as long as you feel like you can love your child and bring him or her up properly I don't see it as irrisponsible. Think about it. When you guys are done school you will be able to get better jobs than a lot of other parents who haven't. The only time it is selfish or irresponsible is if you know you can not provide for that child or give a proper loving environment to him or her. I grew up dirt poor but with all the love a kid could ask for. Sure I didn't have Nike shoes or name brand jeans. Sure we lived off of food bank donations from time to time or welfare when dad was out of work. Mom stayed home with us mostly and mostly dad worked 2-3 jobs at a time. But I wouldn't change it for the world. And I just hope that no matter what I can give my child the same kind of love and support that my family gave me. That to me is being ready.
And you know what? If someone else thinks you are not responsible for having a baby. WHO CARES? It isn't their business. Heck I wore a s_xy dress a few weeks ago and some old lady made a rude comment to me about being an irresponsible child. But did she know me? NO. So did i care what she thought? NO. Do what feels right to you. And to your partner.
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You don't plan on being in school forever right? So after graduation all those benefits come to an end and you are responsible for costs. Yes, you will have a degree and be employable, but getting a high paying job right out of college is not the usual. Plus, if staying home is so important to you, then how will you support it after you graduate?
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For student you have a lot to learn. you and your boyfriend need to finish school and then get jobs. Love for a baby isn't going to pay anybills. I have a lot of student loans and believe me it is not fun or easy to pay them back. It is hard to imagine how much debt you have while you are still in school. you need to get a job first then worry about a baby. I think it is irresponsible of you.
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For a student you have a lot to learn. you and your boyfriend need to finish school and then get jobs. Love for a baby isn't going to pay anybills. I have a lot of student loans and believe me it is not fun or easy to pay them back. It is hard to imagine how much debt you have while you are still in school. you need to get a job first then worry about a baby. I think it is irresponsible of you.
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Although school is very important to finish you seem to be on the right track. You are almost done and you know what you want and need to acomplish. Go for it, obviously you are intelligent and think that you can manage a baby right now, and you would be able to spend lots of time with your baby so why wait. I know how hard it is to deal with a m/c me and my boyfriend had an unplanned pregnancy as well which ended the same way we are only 21, and 22 and we are trying again. Anyways don't worry about how people judge you cause really its no one elses business but yours and your own happiness is what matters as long as you know you can do it!!!!!!
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I say do what is in your heart. If you are waiting for the perfect time to have a baby there will never be a perfect time. The best ones are the unplanned ones! So just go for it and good luck
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