T V Show On About Sex

14 Replies
........ - November 29

I was watching the TV yesterday,on there they were discussing people in a responsible position,i.e teachers that have got involved with their pupils.There was a women teacher,30,who had been sent to prison,her career over because she had s_xual relations with a boy of 15 from another school.They were saying about they are underage etc etc.This brings me onto think about these little girls who believe they are grown up,at 15 wanting babies,yet there was a discussion just about s_x,and how they are underage etc.There was also a mother on there talking abuot her 17year old daughter,who was underage.

 

lisa - November 29

good point.If these as you say "little girls"were as grown up as they like people to think there are,then there would not be a discussion.The point is,these...little girls....are trying to grow up before they are ready.I saw a fridge magnet once,it said "its easy to be a Dad but it takes someone special to be a real father"..or words similiar,you could use the same for a woman,and meant for a woman to be a mother,not a young girl who should still be in school uniform!

 

nicole. - November 30

I have seen shows like these,little girls,bit like the ones on here feel grown up enough and want a baby,again if this was the normal way of life the shows would not be on,but it is not,so there is a talk show about it.I do like it when these girls have a baby,like a dolly,and have to look after it,or are disobedient and go on boot camp,they crack under pressure end up crying,or realisning their mistakes,and apololize to the mother.Maybe Samantha can go on a show and try and justify why she become so involved so fast and even married so young.Somehow I think she would not last long!

 

Agreement! - December 7

I'm so with that! There should be more enforceable consequences for men who become involved and, God forbid, marry little girls. Did you see the show on fistulas? These can occur in girls who are too young to have babies if they are in hard labor. Check it out online. It will make you cringe.

 

marcie to agreement. - December 13

Yes,I know the shows you mean,as you say,if it was normal then these shows would not exsist.When I was going home the other day,I saw these little schoolgirls leaving school.I looked at the older ones and was thinking of this forum and that some girls are thinking of getting married at that age,or even a baby.They have their whole life and want to grow up far too quickly.

 

Mommy - December 13

I suppose that my husband was a pervert, right? He was 19 when we got together and I was 15. That's a whole 4 years! Oh my God! We are married now, and I'm 17, so I suppose I'm still a little girl, right? Wait, I'll be 18 in 2 months, and my hubby is 22. He must be quite the pervert. I have 2 kids, not really planned, but things happen and I'm happy about them. He is a great provide and a great husband. I love him very much and we have been together for almost 3 years. Marriage will fail, that's a fact. Couples will split up, that's a fact. However, not ALL teen marriages will fail, and not ALL older peoples marriages will be successful. It's not going to change. And just because someone marries young doesn't mean they don't love their husband or wife as much as you love your spouse. Things can happen to ruin any situation, and those things don't care whether you are 16 OR 60. A relationship can fail or thrive at ANY age.

 

to mommy - December 14

we were the same age as you I was almost 16 when I met my furture husband.The point is,at that age we did not even give it a thougt to get married,just enjoying getting to know each other and allowing the relationship to deepen.When I married we both knew it was for life,yes,people split up,they do not work at the relationship.Our relationship will not fail,however,I agree that it is so sad that a girl of only 14 got married.There are things in life that is just morally wrong,and I believe the others,that is wrong,it is everything others have stated growing up too fast,having nothing to offer at that age etc.

 

to last post - December 15

absolutely right,just because you meet at a young age,does not mean you are old enough to commit yourselves to one another.at 16 even,you have no idea about what life is even about having spent all the time you can remember at school.Really I'm sorry,but I cannot believe a child married at just 14,where were the parents?

 

lisa - December 15

I agree with those posts.Why on earth does girls of 16 think they are old enough to have children,and the one who got married at 14?Also I find it amazing that all this good advice that has been directed about it,and yet they cannot understand what people are saying.Maybe they are too immature to say,"yep,I see exactly what you mean,14 does sound really bizarre to take on a huge commitment"at least acknowledge people's reasoning.

 

Mommy - December 16

Because, I'm not sure of others' situations, but mine is very different. I didn't plan to get pregnant, but I did...twice. I kept my babies and I married their dad. Was it a huge deal to me to have kids at my young age? Yes and no. Having kids is a huge deal at any age of course, but I have been taking care of babies and kids since I was about 7 myself. I always knew I wanted kids, always took care of kids, so when I came up pregnant I wasn't like WHAT WILL I DO? And I got married young. 17 years old and with 2 babies. Let's see, I love my hubby, I love our kids, I have no intention on leaving my hubby, I am faithful to him and he is to me. Isn't that why older people get married too? You older (use the term loosely) women seem to think that because we're young we have no idea what we want in life. That's not true. And just because you say we will change our minds, we are being cheated out of life, wasting our youth ect. doesn't mean that older women don't change what they want too and pack up and leave their hubbies or vice versa. And there is a difference between advice and bashing. All the Amanda posts I have seen by "older' women were mean and hateful. But really, there is just no pleasing many of you. First we get asked "why commit yourself to just one man that young?", then you say "well you shouldn't be out sleeping around." We get yelled at for being married and TTC, we get yelled at for getting pregnant on accident, we get yelled at for making commitments, we get yelled at for not being mature enough, we get yelled at for not having lived enough. What, pray tell, would you like us to do? Sleep around? Never have s_x until we are 30? Not get married until after we have had countless c___ppy relationships and a few STD's? It's really none of anyones business what age someone marries at unless you are the parents or the potention husband/wife. If it works out, great, if not, well things happen. To people of ALL ages! And fyi, I have been through more things as a child to make me mature than most women who are 30. Unless you have been changing diapers since you were 7 and cleaning/cooking since you were 8, don't talk to me about only remembering my schooling. I cared for more kids by the time I was 12 than most people care for by the time they reach 20. I KNOW maturity.

 

marcie. - December 16

mommy,I diagree with most of your thread.Older women get married,yes because they want to be faithful to each other and show commitment,but also they have and understanding of life,financial stability etc.I disagree entirely when you say posts aimed at manda were spiteful,no they were not,just staing the obvious.No-one can justify why a girl,who may I remind you is at school...know what that means?It means not a grown up,she cannot drive,she cannot vote,she cannot drink,she is still learning,she is not an adult,yet you think its ok for a girl,not a women,but a girl to get married when her rebellous years have only just started?Irrellevent of whether she stays married or not,it was too young.Yes,older women could pack up and leave,but I go back to the example of say drinking,you could get someone who abuse drink,but old enough to do it,it still does not make it right to allow underage drinking,just because that person would not abuse it,the same should be for marriage.At 14,it is true she is not grown up,therefore should not have taken on serious vows.She will like all of us,grow up,maybe grow with her husband,but at 14 she did not know that,really know that,she is not an adult.No,she should not pretend to be an adult,and no she should not sleep around,accidents happen,as you know.Girls should gain respect,not sleep around,but take their time,and allow the relationship to form and grow.You are in the minority of changing nappies since a young age,if you look at it on a wider scale,not focus on your own experience,maybe you will understand that at 13,a girl has not long started her periods,her body is still maturing,so is her mind,she cannot make a decision like marriage,that is so d__n obvious.You do not have to sleep around at all,who said that?Then to get tied down again with kids at just 16,its quite sad in a way,at that age,she should have friends maybe a boyfriend,start earning some money,no worries, no commitments,starting to learn about the real world,but for some reason wanting to grow up as soon as possible,maybe her life was unhappy,it has to be something like that to jump into a relationship so fast.

 

nicole. - December 16

I agree,the majority of posts to Amanda and Samantha were not having a go at them,but offering advice,or pointing out why it was/is wrong.The oler ladies had more of a "bashing"because the young teenagers did not have a valid argument in which to fight back.It is also pretty obvious to me as well,why at 14 as you say,she could not have made such an important decision when she was a schoolgirl,I am still amazed that the parents agreed to this,there must be more to this than we are being told.How many mothers would give their blessing to a schoolgirl to get married,and yes potentially ruining her life?I had boyfriends when I was younger,at the age of 13,14,but they were not serious relationships,I did not sleep with them,I remember at that age you looked on having a boyfriend so differently,in fact you did not think about life as adults do,you cannot possibly because you have not lived an adult life.

 

Mommy - December 16

So marriage is not a life expierence? Yes she was young, yes it could fail, but that is of no concern to others. Who is anyone to say another persons marriage is wrong? Unless abuse or something is in the picture I don't think it concerns anyone else. Parents blessing, her choice. Would I let my daughter if I had one marry that young? Not at all. But that's ME. It's not anyones place to say "your marriage is wrong because I think so." Do you disagree with interracial marriages? Gay marriages? Arranged marriages? Because, JUST BECAUSE, someone YOU THINK is too young and immature gets married doesn't make it wrong. Do you huys KNOW that we "young immature children" are not financially stable with our husbands? The we have 0 life expierence? People will always think what they want to think and have opinions on everything. However calling a marriage wrong because YOU don't agree doesn't make it so. What is it that the pro-choice people always tell me...oh yeah, IT'S LEGAL SO TELL IT TO THE GOVERNMENT.

 

Bonnie - December 16

Well, on the subject of marriage....it really comes down to opinions. For me, I think it is wrong to get married at 14. I would never approve that for my own child. But I agree that it is opinion and her own life to deal with. I feel 16 is too young to get married as well, but that does not mean things do not work out. If my daughter were 16 and wanted to get married, would I allow it? Nope. But what if she got pregnant by accident....what if she used protection and it still happened? What is she is normally pretty responsible? What if her boyfriend seems like a nice kid and they insist on keeping the baby? Would I allow it then? I honestly cannot answer that without being in the situation. I don't like the idea of it. I PRAY that is something I never have to deal with, lol. I cannto say for sure I would still say no, it really judt depends on the situation........What I think is more wrong in that situation of the 14 year old (no names mentioned), is the age gap. A seven year age gap to me seems HIGHLY wrong when she is only 14 (or 12 when they met). Seven years isn't such a big deal when you are old enough to understand. My daughter is 12 now, and if a 19 year old guy came after her I would sooooo have his a__s thrown in jail. And I will never understand her mother's reasoning for okaying it....... BUT, again, that is her life and her family. What's done is done and it is up to them to deal with. No matter how wrong I think it is, I TRUELY hope things continue to go well and work out for her. What I think is the biggest concern is trying to bring a baby into that situation. it just makes no sense............Mommy, you did not purposely TTC. You used protection. It happened. Not what you would have planned but here you are. Will it work out for you? Who can say? So far so good. I don't think you can compare yourself to the other girl as it is a completely different situation. You are working hard and making the best of the situation. Sure marriage is life experience. :) It would have been nice to have had mroe of a childhood (or teenager-hood, lol) first. But life doesn't always go how you plan and sometimes you have to just roll with it. It sounds to me like you are doing a pretty d__ned good job. Please don't compare yourself with the other two, there is a world of difference.

 

marcie to mommy. - December 20

If someone wants to get married at 14,it is wrong.There are things in life that are "wrong",as a parent we try and teach our children right from wrong,so yes,there is a wrong.An adult getting married,whether you agree with it or not,whether it goes wrong or not,is different because they are adult enough to become involved.A girl of 14,is simply that a "girl"therefore getting married when you are a girl at school,is wrong...thats it,no argument.There has been many reasons why it is wrong,and I'm sure we have all read them.a girl of 14,and lets not talk individual cases here,but use it in general terms,as it should,a girl of 14,has not had real life experiences,no.at that age a parent should be thinking that the "rebellous teen" years could start,not marrying off before they have begun!!!Gay marriages are different.Here in the U.K we have just had the 1st gay marriages happen,they have done it for reasons i.e inheritenge,tax,and the marriage is different to couples. marriages.It is like the marriage of Prince Charles and Camilla,some will say that they actually are not married.The Queen did not attend the wedding,because she is head of state for the church of England.They had been married before,his Uncle had to abdicate for the woman he loved.Yet Charles wants to be King,marrying in a registry Office because he could not marry elsewhere,yet be King Of the Church of England.That is controversial too.Going back to being just 14,they just cannot be responsible at that age to make a huge commitment as marriage.

 

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