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Madaleeana-I know where you are comming from.I had it difficult life.I would have to write a book to tell you everything that went on.At 13 I couldn't get along with anyone under 25 and to this day I still get along better with men then woman.My husband is nine years older then me and the men I dated at 18 were at least seven years older then me.Now I have a easier time talking to men at least in their earlier 30's or older the woman of any age or younger people in general.I relized later when your life is hard and forces you to be mature at such a young age it is more important that you take extra time to find yourself once things calm down and life becomes easier.Anther thing is at 20 I had a baby(unplanned) and bought a house and a few years later now at 26 I have people in their thirties or forties say things like"I remember my first house".Talk about a reality check of how young 26 is.Even though I was very mature I still look back and see myself as immature at 18 even 20.I have a feeling this will offend you and I'm sorry but I have yet to meet a 18 year old that eguilitied a average mature thirty years old.Some of maturity does come with age and now amount of hardship,travelin, paying your own bills or being on your own changes that.I say this from my own experences and that of others I know.Marranic-I had compliment after compliment to and I still do.I have also seen my fair share of good and bad mothers to of all ages.I am not so lucky to have a family menber or babysitter and my husband work 50 to 65 hour a week( I happen to love).That doesn't mean I sit at home and pout.I do more with my two kids then most do with one.General-anyone who thinks 30 or 35 is old must have a immature side.Fifty is the new thirty.More and more woman are staying healthier and more active much longer then woman of the past.Some have even said life doesn't begin till 50.Not only that but more and more woman look and act younger longer.That is not just for celebrities anymore.

I ment "then younger people in general" and "( 5 rows down)a 18 year old that is equivalent to a average mature 30 year old"

Sorry ladies, lots of insensitive comments in this thread, I am 41, I have been trying to be a mom since I was 24 years old, it did not happen. By the way, I finished my school all the way I have a PHD, I am leading a very successful career, I traveled. All that did not fulfill my need to be a mom I think this is natural. So judging others for there choices weather young or old, each has there own reasons. Being a mom at 19 does not make you bad person, and trying to be one at 40 does not make you someone were chasing materialistic life.

Anna in one of your posts you stated about teens needing their parents to pay for their babies diapers, now i myself am 17 and am expecting a little girl in just 8 weeks. i am confused with what you said, does that mean you believe all tennagers rely on their parents to support them and their child or did i read that wrong? i myself have lived out of home for 13 months, have been with my boyfriend or 2 years and no my pregnancy wasn't planned, but i have managed to buy everything i need for her myself, i still work, and i'm doing my second last year of high school and plan to do my last. no matter what age, all mothers will love their child. but anna could you please explain what you meant? thanks

I hate to add to this argument, but I just can't help myself. I am 33. I have been married almost two years to a professional man, I have a solid college education, and I have to say I am delighted with the timing. I don't plan to be over the hill when my children graduate from high school. I am just so happy that I don't have to worry about the financial stuff now. I don't have to sc___pe up change like my parents did when we really had to have something. My mom had three kids at 23. She was born to be a wonderful mother and she doesn't regret it, but she would like to go back to school now but feels she is too old and she certainly doesn't deny how hard it was. Financial security is great for the parents! Education is great for the parents! It is really great to feel secure, to know where Baby's college fund is going to come from, to be able to fix the furnace if it goes out, to be able to cover medicine if insurance won't, to be able to send the Baby to tap-dance lessons if she wants to take them. It just feels better not to worry about money. There is a big difference between security and greed- no one has made that point yet. It was hard to watch my mom worry, ask Grandma for money, go without herself, etc. My child won't have to see that and I refuse to be anything other than thrilled about that! Young moms can be great moms-mine was- but it can be much better later with less stress. Good luck to all of you Moms!

Sorry, over 40, you did make the point about how it wasn't about material acquisition!

I hate to add to this as well but I have to> I can't read it and not say anything. It really p__ses me off that just because "We" are young. Everyone thinks we haven't lived our lives. Trust me I did a lot of living before I got married and decided to have a baby. Some people just want to be a young mothers like me. I am very happy with my decision and I'm tired of people always putting "us" down. It really upsets me. I am 20 years old and I'm 5 months pregnant with my first baby and my husband is 23. He is co-owner of a business and I have a really awesome job even though I didn't get a degree in college. Just because we are young doesn't mean we don't have our heads on straight. We have a house and are financially stable. Yeah we have our moments when we are hurting but doesn't everyone? I am very satisfied with knowing that I can support my child. And that's all that matters. I understand that y'all aren't saying that we aren't going to be good mothers but trust me it's hard enough having to hear it from everyone else in the society. I come here for support and guidence. Not criticism! I mean I'm not 15 talking about I want a baby. I'm 20 years old and an adult and so is my husband. And I'm thankful that my family is happy for us and is very supportive and doesn't make remarks like people on these forums. I'm happy that is all that matters. And to all you young mothers out there keep doing what you are doing because obviously you are doing a good job. Good luck to everyone!

ana posted 6 months ago in november 2005 in case you dont have access to the dates on the posts for whatever reason.... i thought everyone did?

Tjane yeah I see the dates but people have commented recently!

No, I was just referring to the post that was directed to Ana directly.... I understand continuing to comment....

Oh my bad sorry! Yeah it is an old post but it's a hot topic!

i've read this whole entire thread...and personally i've seen it on this website myself...older women get together sometimes and basically attack younger mothers...this definately isnt right on any level...like most of the younger mothers on this thread have said who's to say that we havent lived our lives...maybe we've experienced all we wanted to and now we want to start workin on our families...i commend all the older mothers on wanting to get their lives in order and by no means want to degrade anyone because this thread was started because someone was upset about being degraded as a young mother so why sit here and help the degradation grow??...i commend anyone who feels that they're ready to become a mother...young or older alike....just make sure that your body is ready for it....oh by the way im not a mother just yet im not due until August 24th but i already got something said to me by an older woman...i was at work and she was like are you pregnant and i was like YEA with a big smile on my face and she gets the saddest look on her face and goes im soooo sorry then walks off...i had to fight off the urge to either hit her or cry i wasnt sure what i wanted to do...anywho jus thought i would leave something on here and share my thoughts after all thats what forums are for right??

I dont know why people even put threads out like this. You can predict what is going to be said and what its about. I do think that older ladies should just worry about there lives if it was so perfect they wouldnt let things like this bother them. The only way to learn about life is to do what you think is right and sometimes that leads to learning the hard way other wise how are you ment to learn. I have heard nealy all older women go on about money and no that does not bring happiness or security as you could loose you house in a fire and money will not stop devorce. They go on about having money to buy the WANTS and needs and yes its good to by things that your kids want but there is nothing worse then a kid being bought up on the silver spoon. I have been bought up knowing that money dont grow on trees and money dont bring happiness it puts a roof over your head and food on the table and i seem to appreciate money more then take it for granted. The older women say that the young ones have sumthing missing in their lives if they want to have kids young but if your life is so perfect then why live for money.