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Marriage is a religous inst_tution. Some people are either not religious or do not prescribe to your religion, therefore your point about marriage is moot. There are plenty of people who live their lives as a couple without ever getting married, because they do not believe in the inst_tution of marriage. I'll agree though that there is no right age to get married - there is, however, a maturity level that should be reached.

Oops, that should be "religious inst_tution," and I meant to say "no right age to have a baby."

well thats fine and good but a child should be raised with a "family" mother father child all same last name..ya know...there is something to be said and a sence of security when you are married and i am sorry you feel that way...marriage is amazing not only from a religious aspect but if you are with the right person why wouldnt you want to be married? and marriage is more then religion...it is a vow/promise to love your partner and make them the most important thing in your life....

Ok, first of all, I'm married, so you can stop being condescending to me about your superiority of marriage thing. Second, marriage only makes a difference if you believe in it. Regardless of what you think, it *is* a religious inst_tution, despite its extension into the secular world. Some people avoid it strictly on that basis alone (and right they should). It is absolutely *not* necessary to subscribe to that particular tradition to be a family.

ok...well you know to each their own but that view is exactly whats wrong with the world...things become tolerable and then it all goes down from there....

Lemme guess. You're a conservative, religious republican. Tolerance is what's missing in the world. There's too much hatred, and sadly its mostly spewed out from the intolerant wing of the religious community. Incidentally, it's the conservative Christians that have the highest divorce rates in the country.

By the way, I was referring to the US.

wow you got me all wrong...i am a democrat...and yes very religious luthern to be infact. there is no tolerance in religion..sorry...it is not okay to have babies out of wedlock, but i am not the judge and i am not pa__sing judgement i just know what is right and wrong...

And alas, one of the many the reasons why I rejected religion. It provides people with the audacity to claim that they know what's right and wrong without ever having seriously thought about the subject and coming to their conclusions via reason. It's not that I'm against Christianity or any other religion as a whole. It's just truly sad how many "thinking" Christians there are in the world who have truly contemplated their own beliefs and questioned the real meaning behind why they believe what they believe in a deeply philosophical manner. So many people seem to think that blind belief is the same as accepting something on faith.

all i know here is that it takes a man and a women to make a baby and they should both be there to raise it and dont you think that a whole family having the same name is a security for the child??? i was raised in a split home and i hated it...i thought long and hard about marrige and children before i did it and to me they are important and kind of go hand and hand....i dont know i am not trying to argue with you ...you seem very nice...and i am not trying to push religion on you i personally think that ttc while unmarried is irresponsible but we are all ent_tled to our opinions...and my reasonings go to fact b/c the majority of the people having babies unmarried are young...and thats what i am talking aobut all of these young girls having babies when they dont need em and have no intentions on being married...and also fyi i had my first son when my husband and i were engaged he came quicker then we planned we had a wedding date set and were planning it and i became pg before we were married so i am not pa__sing judgement..there is just a particular group of people (usually young) that follow in the unmarried ttc category ya know......

I do see your point about young people, and I'll certainly agree that there are too many young girls that go and get pregnant without seriously considering the gravity of the situation. But in a general sense, no, I don't think that it's necessary for the parents to have the same name. In fact, most of the women I know who *are* married don't even use their husband's name anyway. As long as two people are truly in love and are sincerely prepared to rear children and spend their lives together, marriage is irrelevant. Their love is the testament of their commitment to one another, not a subscription to a particular tradition.

It is like many things in todays world,they are loosing what was so strict many years ago.Years ago you had to married,otherwise your child would be known as a "b___d"and the mother be shamed.As x has stated there are many couples who now live together,years ago that would have been known as living in sin.I do share a lot of your beliefs Amy.I agree there is not right age,however,when you are a young teenager,for the various reasons discussed I think you can be too young and not ready,in a way you are saying that,but not directly.I am married also,my parents are religious.We married,because we wanted a bond,commited by marriage and all it stands for,to be faithful etc etc.Also for our children,I took on my husbands name,the children followed suit.I think it is a real shame that the way things were is loosing its status.Women have moved up in the world,they do not want their husbands name,give up work,or lose independence.There can be a lot of compet_tion which is not always a good thing.When you are with a partner there has to be give and take,and in todays world it encourages selfishness,its bound to,athough I can understand why women has pushed to be equal.I really would not have wanted my children out of wedlock,nor would I have wanted them to use my maiden name.Our world is changing,and it is not always for the better.I like the thought of gymslip mothers in housing together,with just the bare essentials,nothing fancy like in todays society.They managed years ago,and had to face their own responsibility,which I believe is right.