What Do You Think-pg115271202618
5 Replies
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Ok ladies I need help. I am 24 I have always been a mommy’s girl I never wanted to do anything that would disappoint my mom. However when had my daughter I believe that did it. My daughter's father and I are no longer together (separated 1 year) and I have rekindled a relationship with a previous bf. He has no children and is ready. I wanted to have all my children (3) by 28 (I would have preferred to be married. We have talked about marriage and decided that is the route we are headed in but that would surpass my 28 deadline) . However I think that if we take that step in our relationship my mother will be disappointed, everyone will look at me funny because I have more than one "baby 's daddy"(for lack of a better phrase), and I am not married yet. What is your opinion?
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Hi, I dont mean to sound rude as i dont know your family ect but they cant exspect you to stay single for the rest of you life cause you are not with your childs dad. May i ask why you have a dead line for having kids? I wouldnt worry about what people will think as long as you are happy and you know and feel what you are doing is right thats all that counts. But plz try not to rush into having kids as i know alot of step dads are different when there real kids come along. Also to you should take it slow for your childs sake, if you rush into a relationship just remember she has to follow and you want to make sure you have made the right choice b4 getting her involved.
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Thanks for your opp. It's not really a "deadline" but just a preference. By the time I am 40 all the kids SHOULD be out of the house all expenices paid(college, first car, etc) and my husband and I can relax in our not "old" but middle age and vacation or whatever we choose.
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Hehe, that is cute, and I totally feel you on wanting to be relaxed and retired while still having the energy to enjoy it. I know how hard it is to feel that you've dissapointed your parents and the people around you, but you've got to let it go. My mother was a strong Christian, and I was always so scared to dissapoint her. She died when I was 16, and when I became pregnant at 18, I felt as though I had failed her spirit. I know now that she would love who I've become. I know that I have one life to live, and I can try and please others, or I can be happy in my own skin, being who I am. I am so proud of the family I have built. If you feel that you are ready to have a child with this man, and he feels the same, you can always get married, holding your child in your arms, as I did.
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Another thought. When people show dissapointment in you it is either because of ignorance (in the case of strangers), or because of love. When you make a decision that elicits dissapointment from family or friends, it is usually because they believe that your decision could cause you pain, or could make your life more difficult in the end. The people who love you, don't want to see you in pain. The dissapointment they show is usually just the helplessness that they feel at being unable to protect you and keep you safe, like they could when you were a child. Thinking this always helps me feel better when I experience this response. Good luck.
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Thank you sooo much Flower.momma. I really appreciate your advice, it sounds like you really understand what I am going through.
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