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I agree with you ladies that some young women are not ready or prepared for motherhood and have not had enough life experiences to settle down to being a parent, but I just wanted to share my 'story'. I am 23, I have two sons, aged 3 and 2 and I married at 19. I know that it all seems a lot at a young age but I am absolutely in love with my children and spend every minute thinking about their happiness, their health, their future. I completely dedicate my life to my boys and believe I am a good mum. My family and my dh's family tell me I am very good with the boys and seem surprised that I am doing a good job. I appreciate their compliments but get annoyed that people expect me to do a rubbish job of raising my children because I am a little younger than the average parent. I get stared at in supermarkets and am constantly being asked my age, followed by the comment 'you've got your hands full haven't you?' I would love to reply, 'i have, yes, but I love every minute of it.' I have friends who are the same age as me with children who are not doing a good job and I wonder whether they enjoy being a mummy, but not all young women are rubbish mothers. Some older women I know had children, went back to work after 6 weeks and the children have been in full-time nursery since, being raised by strangers. Then they come home from work, eat and put the child in bed. What is the point of having a child if you don't enjoy it? I am not suggesting all older parents are like this either but I think we can find examples of good and bad parents in any age group, I hate stereotypes.

I totally agree that you can never be completely ready. No matter how much you prepare, how old you are or how much money you make. Every one says wait until your older wait until your older....I think you should wait until you feel ready. My mom was 36 when she had me and I always had wished she was younger. I want to have children young because I wan to keep up with them. I want to be a young mom that can keep up with modern technology and kids. No doubt being finacialy stable is a plus, but I would have rather lived in a little apartment than had parents who were to old or tired or whatever to play. I dont think there is anything wrong with people 18+ wanting to become young moms.

"I want to be a young mom that can keep up with modern technology and kids."............I think this is more of a state of mind than an age thing. I am 35 and I meet women all the time who are my age and just seem so OLD, lol. I get comments from my 12 year old step kids all the time how "cool" their dad and I are. I just gave birth inJanuary and I don't see myself changing anytime soon. 35 to me is a wierd age because one minute I can meet someone my age who is just like me, the next minute I can meet someone my age who I swear looks and acts about 20 years older.

I completely agree with Bonnie that age is definitely not just about biological age! My step sister is 37 and has a 4 year old. She takes excellent care of herself, always looks trendy, has lots of energy and looks and acts much younger than she is. My parents are now 64 and 65 but again are young in themselves which is great. I think now the population generally is living longer through healthier eating and medicine etc., having kids later isn't too bad. People do say that 30 is the new 20 and I think its true. I think being ready is definitely about being emotionally and financially ready.

being ready has nothing to do wth what degrees you have or having a job as long as your man has a good job and ios willing to let u be a saty at home mom. it also has to do with sacrifice... quitting your vices, not eating what you want, sacrificing your figure or whatever. I think ready has a lot to do with your willingness to give ANYTHING for your baby.

But is it a good idea to be COMPLETELY dependant on another adult?

I will keep my full opinion out of this post.I think collage is important not because it makes you a better mother but so you have a plan B.Only because life doesn't follow the plan you made for it at 16 or 18.What some people don't get is some woman feel it is their place to be at home.Why,I don't know.It may not be a good ideal to depend on someone else for a income but some woman don't mind.

"But is it a good idea to be COMPLETELY dependant on another adult" "It may not be a good ideal to depend on someone else for a income " so instead of depending on your HUSBAND it is better to ship your children off to a sitter or daycare? Isn't it in the better interest of the child to be the one to raise s/he? To be the one to see them take their first step, speak their first word, kiss a sc___ped knee? Or let a virtual stranger be there to witness this? I'm not trying to offend anyone who either does not have the option of staying home or just would rather work but IMO women who knowingly bring children into this world have a responsibility to actually be the one to raise their own children. Children should not be pushed off to someone else, they come first and foremost and if it is financially possible the best thing would be to have their mommy, not the nanny. A recent poll shows that 85% of women would want to stay home after children if possible, of course its not possible in a lot of cases but it does show that most women know that being there for the children is probably best. This way may seem old fashion but it's still best IMO.

I want to add that it doesnt have to be the mother. My mother HAD to work as my father was very sick. So i had my stay at home daddy who i thankfully have many memories of because he was always there with me instead of walking through the door at dark, eating and going to sleep. So just wanted to say that a father works just as good.

Over half of thoes 85% could afford to stay home if they didn't mind a cheaper car or smaller house among with otrher thing.Once again daycare and babysister do have advanges.The two I think of first is there immune systems get use to of germs at a younger age(this helps it to be stronger as they get older) and they have a better socal skills that help in schools.A lot of them learn to share young among with many other things.I don't work and like you don't agree with a child being watched by others for 50-60 hour a week but you can't loose yourself into motherhood.I see nothing wrong with working partime or doing something for yourself once a week.Anther thing is Being a stay at home mom can mean to different things.Some woman think it means to clean for twleve hours and make sure there isn't speck(where does that leave a lot of quality time for kids?) of dirt but some spend more time with kids and not be so a___l about how clean their house is.(that can also be taken to unhealthy extremes).As I said life doesn't follow a plan you made so a back up plan would be the smart thing to do incase you would have to work.You do bring up a good point.If you(in gereral/teens) don't believe that a stranger should raise a child then why plan kids when you know they will be in a daycare because of collage and not work.I never thought of that is just anther good reason to wait to have kids.Once you finish collage you can always take a break from working till they are in grade school.Good thinking.

Oh,by the way when I said that some woman feel the place is at home and I dob't know why?IMO that is different then saying I want to be a stay at home mother.I feel that when someone says my place is in the home is sounds like they don't want to be there and sound like something out of the stone age.I wasn't thinking about how i worded it.Sometimes I forget teens interpet things differently then myself.

Oh my how could I make such a dumb mistake. Us teens just cant understand anything that you "grownups" say! It's so obvious what you said, venus_in_scorpio says "your man has a good job and ios willing to let u be a saty at home mom" then Clairejow says "But is it a good idea to be COMPLETELY dependant on another adult? " then you say "What some people don't get is some woman feel it is their place to be at home"..Sorry i just didn't think we had switched from stay at home moms to complete housewifes. STUPID STUPID AMANDA! Anyway enough of that but the two are very much connected. Also "If you(in gereral/teens) don't believe that a stranger should raise a child then why plan kids when you know they will be in a daycare because of collage and not work" I'm not going to college, I don't feel the need for degrees when all I want is to be home with my future children. I will be there for them every second of every day for every main event. I don't have a job, don't feel the need and am a housewife happier then pigs in mud. Now I don't think its my place as in I HAVE to be here but prefer. I like my house clean but not spotless as where I'm scared to sit on the couch or put a drink on the table. "As I said life doesn't follow a plan you made so a back up plan would be the smart thing to do incase you would have to work" life never follows a plan. You make one at 35 and it still changes everytime. I know plenty of people who have gone to college and are now at Mcdonalds, a&p or unemployment. College of course is good to have but it is no where near a guarantee.

Oh and when i say complete housewifes i mean those who think the only place for them is in the home. But i dont think there are many people who still believe that, they just prefer to be home.

I had a long day and saying anything more would take to to a working mom debate and I will not go there.Millons of woman agrue about all the time and there is no right answer.Yes,collage graduates do end up working low paying jobs but if you can increase the the change even by 1% it is worth it.I think that would be part of being part a responsible parent.What if you did have to do it yourself?Things happen!Would you support your child on 5.15 a hour because collage isn't a gurrantee.That is the most immature att_tude I have ever herd.You may not believe it but yes,people who follow strick religoius believes do make it sound as if it is not a choice.I know because I hear it from my inlaws.Because of that some woman do stay at home even if they are not happy.If that is your choice then I'm happy for you.You responses sound more and more immature every time.What part og "general" didn't you understand?You may not be going to collage but a lot if not most do want to go to collage.And you don't take things personal.Who are you trying to fool?I'll be busy for a couple of days so I'll see you soon!

Wow---This side always gets so heated! I don't think you can ever really "be ready" at any given time. Nobody knows exactly what to expect and what will happen, thats what keeps life so interesting. I do however think you can be extremely prepared. Its all personal choice. Have a career then family or the other way around. Or not have a career and stay home, your level of maturity has everything to do with it but that does not always go along with age. I was 23 when i got pregnant with my first, in no way ready to have a child----but you do what you have to do to "be ready".

i cant speak for anyone else... i know i am ready to have a baby... i was ready mentally/emotionally years ago but decided to wait a little longer to be ready financially... of course things never work out how i plan but i couldnt be more happy to have my baby on the way... no matter what my situation is... and like i said in a different post... as long as i have what it takes to make sure my child is healthy (mentally emotionally and physically) than i dont think what anyone else thinks matters... i dont have a "career" to fall back on... and ill just be starting college this fall... but i have more life experience than a lot of people i know who are much older than me and i feel i have a lot to offer a child (a loving, safe, and secure environment... a wonderful family, and a mother who will love him/her above everything else) i also know having children is all about sacrifice and i know that no sacrifice is too big for my child... i know what raising a child involves... and i know it helps to plan ahead (i already have stacks of diapers...) but i dont believe anyone is totally ready until the baby is here and that was the point of my earlier post... knowing what to do and actually having to do it are so different... good luck to everyone young, old, and in between....