When Breastfeeding Should Stop
56 Replies
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Wow, Jamie, calling people b___h for having an opinion different than yours....maybe you need comfort, - go suck a b___b, and lay off everyone!!!
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| L - November 24 |
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"I mean honestly, who really has the separation-anxiety here?" That's an ignorant statement. Why? It's the baby's/toddler's choice, not the mother's. You can't bribe or force a child to nurse.
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Karen, if you scroll up a bit, and read all the posts between Gina and myself,you'd see that I said she was being a b___h in regards to how she said things, NOT to the differing opinion. D and I have very different opinions on everything from extended nursing to co-sleeping, but I still respect her opinion, and I get the sense that she respects mine. The comments Gina made had no supporting arguments for her point of view; they only attacked mine - therefore, she was being a b___h.
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D, I wanted to respond to you in a separate post. It's true, I am the adult in my mother-daughter relationship. As such, it is my responsibility to help my daughter become a stable, secure, well-rounded infant. You believe that extra hugs and kisses before tucking your baby into his own bed will teach him to be an independant individual. I believe that the same thing would teach my daughter that she cannot count on her father and I to help allay her fears; if we show her that we are always there when she's afraid, we are teaching her that there is nothing to fear - it's always easier to be couragous when you know you're not alone. We have the same goal and desire for our children, just different methods. Perhaps I am wrong in my parenting methods; perhaps you're wrong. It's hard to say at this point, since you've been doing it for all of 8 months, and I've been going at it for a whopping 3 months. I have only my own childhood experiences, and my own feelings about my parents to go by - and I'm sure it's the same for you. I know that I sit here as an adult, who has distanced herself so far from her family that I'm not even sure I'll be able to call them today (Thanksgiving Day). (Physical distance, not emotional) During every hardship of my life, I have felt that I stood alone. My parents tucked me into my own bed in my own room with a kiss on the forehead. I do not want my daughter to feel that same painful loneliness that I felt for most of my life. I want her to know that no matter what the situation, she will never be alone, because I am always here for her. I can only try to do that by correcting what I perceive to be my parents' mistakes - leaving me alone too young, and trying to teach me independence at an age when I should have been very dependant on them. I'll teach my daughter independence, when she's old enough to actually be independant.
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| d - November 24 |
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You know I love coming to this forum and talking. I think you got me hooked and I found myself lol too so many times. I don't even remember how I found this site but I'm very happy to have met you and many others. I see your point of view Jamie that you want to be closer to your children than how your parents raised you. You may or may not believe this, but I remember my parents rubbing my forehead when they used to come and check up on me while I was asleep. I loved knowing they cared for me. I also remember my father singing to me to go to sleep and I loved it! Now I want the same for my son and I do the same and more. I totally agree in being affectionate towards children and not just in infancy. I will definetly, read a book with them, talk to my kids and hug them and kiss them good night before they go to sleep. I don't think this used to be done by parents in the past. Parents were just happy that you were obedient and went to bed. It was short and sweet but it would have been nice if they stayed a little bit longer. The young ones need that a__surance throughout the day. The love given boosts their sense of confidence and self-esteem in just knowing how much they are cared for and from feeling secure. I'm not going to deny them if they want to sleep with me sometimes and hug especially when they have nightmares which they may get in toddler years or preschool years. Did you say you are from Germany? I think I read that somewhere.
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I am an American, but I currently live in Germany; my husband is in the U.S. Army; we're stationed here until 2007.
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| d - November 24 |
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Jamie it was nice meeting you and enjoy your stay in Germany, how lucky! Today I've decided to leave the site all together. Before I go, I just wanted to say goodbye. I really love coming here exchanging ideas and experiences but after bumping into a rude nameless person I just had enough.
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d - you shouldn't leave just because of one rude nameless person! the rest of us enjoy having you here.
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Aw, d, don't go - just report the rude nameless person as being in poor taste. I've really enjoyed the exchange of parenting ideas with you - it's nice to "meet" someone who has such an opposite look, and will discuss and debate with me without going hormonal.
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The nursing relationship changes as the child gets older. Nursing a toddler is nothing like nursing an infant. There are many benifits to nursing past the age of two. Nursing after eating helps their young digestive tract to absorb mor nutrition from the food. Breastmilk has ingredients in it that promote brain development. The brain continues to need these nutrients to develop until the child reaches the age of 5. There are many other benifits as well. Most children will wean by the age of 5 naturally with no prompting from an adult. Three to Five year olds don't even nurse every day. By the time the child weans naturally, you cant really remember when they last nursed it could have been a few months ago.
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Cheryl, nobody is denying that there are still nutrients that can be aquired from b___stmilk - just saying you could pump and put it into a cup....which they are now fully capable of drinking out of.
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What is so shameful about b___sts? In every country but the US, extended b___stfeeding is the norm.... please, stop s_xualizing them when they are not being used for a s_xual purpose. It is degrading for both mother and child.
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| mia - November 29 |
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AMEN!!!
Breasts were intended, from the beginning, to FEED children. Let them serve their purpose.
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Why should we make things more complicated by having to pump and use a cup? Pumping is something you do if you have to. Not something you choose. Pumping is not a pleasant thing to do. It is uncomfortable. Women do it because they want to do what is best for their child and must be separated.
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I BF until my son was 20 months he loved my b___b as i loved the bond we had, he never had a bottle or a pacifer I tried pumping and giving him the bottle he didnt want it at all...I stoped because he was almost ready and plus i was pregnant again.. I also am Bf my daughter who is 3 weeks old and doing great, did anyone have large babies from Bf?? My son was a chunk at 6 months he was almost 25lbs! wow now when i look back i am in shock at first no just kidding, Im very proud i kept him alive inside of me and outside its awsome BF, I also read comments from everyone and it upsets me that people look at BF as a bad thing. Im a young mother and have young friends and they all got use to seeing me BF and didnt think nothing of it, Its so easy to ur b___st is always there always warm just perfect!! I really didnt change my diet at all neither just added more water and fruit and veggies... Good job ladies on Breastfeeding them babies!!!
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On the topic of extended b___stfeeding, I notice that mothers tend to favour this but after talking about it with people, someone said that they heard on the show with Dr.Phil that it could be detrimental on the pscyhological child's well being which he was saying to a mother who was still b___stfeeding her 8 year old. So I think that maybe the whole idea of their gender and s_xual ident_ty development begins when they start to understand the world better. Its not that you condition them to think and act in a certain way but it is thier own psychological final thoughts on what they think of themselves. The whole idea about mothers bonding with thier children can be done in so many other ways and it is not that necessary to have the b___st skin contact to achieve this as much as its needed in infancy. They also mentioned that even animals don't nurse thier young tool old either and encourage them to grow up and hunt for food. I'm not telling anyone extended b___stfeeding is wrong but these points is something to think about when considering to care for children.
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