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re: 10/4 post.....hope v____al goes well for you. It does for most women. C-section has gone well for many, too. Both can really screw you up, too. Luck of the draw, I guess. Good luck. ! Let us know how it went.

Hi. I had a third degree tear with the birth of child no. 1. No incontinence problems however 22 months down the track I still cannot have s_x without pain and slight tearing each time - kind of like losing your vaginity each and every time. I had the scar excised six months after the birth based on the advice of a gyn who thought I may have had a neuroma. This of course did not work. Many specialists later including a Vulval Gyn and I'm still no further enlightened. Many have told me not to wear g-string undies and pants and that I simply have a skin condition !!!! Very frustrating indeed. Meanwhile, I delivered my second child via C-section and for me this decision was terrific. Don't get me wrong, it was no walk in the park but for me definitely the right decision.

Ang, what kind of skin condition did they tell you that you have?

hi everyone, i am having my 3rd baby and as im 2 days over im being induced on tues. My first labour 13yrs ago was with an episiotomy and my second 8yrs ago was a 3rd degree tear in my bowel. I also dont have much feeling when having a bm and still sometimes bleed after one. I was offered a c section but ive decided to have normal delivery,the midwife has said its worth considering an epidural cause if i tear again i wont feel it as much as i only had gas last time. Got pains at the moment as ive took some codliver oil earlier just to help me clear out.

Oh my gosh, good luck!!!! When you are up to it, let us know how everything went. A billion good thoughts going your way right now!! I wish you a speedy and lovely delivery and a healthy baby.

Thanx, i suppose my 2 kids last weights didnt help my son was 8lb 2oz and my daughter was 9lb 1oz. Pains disappeared so looks like tues it is. I will let you all know the gory details haha.

I too have hemorrhoids, a fistula and bladder/bowel problems that disrupt my life both intimately and functionally. I had 4 babies and not one of them ever got near my birth ca___l. I left my very scarred uterus, tubes and ovaries at the local hospital due to c/s's and while your problems may stem from v____al birth (I'm sorry 4 u) I wouldn't like people to get the idea they are avoiding those problems with an elective c-section. My problems were CAUSED by pregnancy and CESAREAN SECTION. Just a word of caution for those who haven't been there.

I am sorry. That's awful. What happened? I know why you could have the hemorroids or the fistula, but why the bowel and bladder probs. from the c-section?

My cousin had one little baby girl, six pounds and delivered v____ally. She was too small down there and the doctor cut her up pretty bad to get the baby out. As a result she is wearing a colostomy. She would have faired off better with a c-section and the doctor told her so afterwards. Whoops, the doctor is not always right. I'm sorry to hear about your hemorrhoids, fistula and bladder/bowel problems but maybe it was the FOUR c-sections that caused these problems as well. You must have had some of these symptoms after your first or second c-section and yet you continued to have more children. Your doctor must have noticed these things as well and he or she should have cautioned you not to have any more children. And it should have been a common sense thing for you as well that if you were experiencing problems after the first or second section that as precious as all of your four children are, maybe you should not have had any more children after your first two. Do not blame the pregnancy and c-sections alone for your hemorrhoids, fistula and bladder/bowel problems. Perhaps it was the FOUR c-sections. Some doctors only recommend women have two or three sections. And it also depends on how far the c-sections were spaced apart. Did your body even have time enough to heal after one c-section before you got pregnant again?

in response, that is precisely my point...don't elect a c-section right off the bat without any indication (like a pelvic exam that says your unusually small...) as it DOES limit how many children you have. If you only want one and you are sure, maybe not such a problem. I did not have a choice, and I didn't know what was going on inside me, but I do now and I would not recommend unnecessary c-sections, period! You have to have some medical knowlege and you have to have some upper-level biology to understand the ramifications of surgery. Yes, sometimes there are births that end up with the sh** hitting the fan, but your poor cousin's colostomy is the extreme exception. I do agree there are reasons for prophylactic cesarean sections but the reasons given on other forums are ridiculously mis-informed. For instance, why do people think being cut down below is somehow different and worse than being cut somewhere else? I mean some have acted like episiotomies are more invasive than the c-section! That is patently false! Look up anatomy and physiology and see what tissues are cut with an episiotomy (or tear) and see what is cut, moved and will scar with a c/s. Your risk of bladder and bowel injury is at least as good as with the difficult v____al birth. I propose you focus less on the number of c-sections I had and quit making veiled accusations that I forced the problems by having too many kids. My doctors like yours, do not have windows into my abdomen after they close me up, they, like your doctors can't predict how, when and if you will form scar tissue. There's so much people don't know about the long term effects of c-sections. There is no such thing as the lesser of two evils except in emergent or obvious geometric problems. I hope all of you take the time to ask women who are several years out how their bladders, menstrual cycles and scars feel...it's not quite the rosy picture some people make it. Again, my point is, if people think MY bladder/bowel problems are from "too many" c/s versus all the poor women who got theirs from just ONE "traumatic" v____al birth I say baloney, maybe all my problems were from just ONE so called "easy way". Don't know what your definition of pain is, but mine was very real, and very difficult to deal with and since I walked around for two weeks on a severely fractured ankle before caving into THAT pain I can say I don't have a low tolerance for pain. Birth is hard on the female body, and except for very specific situations you don't fare any better with a c-section.

I started this post and would like it to remain positive, supportive, and non-judgmental. Thanks!

Yes, Jessica, let's keep it positive. I don't want people to blame my bladder/bowel problems on the number of my c/s if we are discussing your worries about which is more risky for damage. I thought we could share our experiences with you and let you know what they were. You asked which would be the lesser of two evils in regards to your tear and discomfort after your first birth. I shared what happened after my c/s's. It seems some people on the other forums refuse to acknowlege that the many of the same risks a__sociated with v____al delivery exist with cesarean sections and pregnancy in general. My mom had both v____al and c/s and she said neither was great, both were awful in their own way and both were better than each other in some ways. At any rate, I just wanted you to know that the problems you stated in your original post sound awfully familiar to me and not being able to sit comfortably sounds like you formed some scar tissue down there. If that is what is causing your pain then you will probably have pain ( and scarring)in your c'section area too for quite awhile after in addition to new damaged areas. Good luck, it doesn't sound like either choice sounds like fun.

Jessica, what did you end up doing by the way?

I had my first child 2 1/2 years ago, which I received a 4th degree tear during delivery. I had no pain afterwards and recovery seemed fine. I just had my second child 6 weeks ago and I again had a fourth degree tear. My Dr. says this one was a lot worse. I was VERY sore for about a week and a half, although moving around helped. I do have some bowel issues...when I got to go...I have to go! I'm hoping this will get better. If I decide to have another child, I will likely go v____al, but we'll see.

Hi again, I have now had my second baby. I opted for a c-section and I must say it was a lot better. My baby is now 7 days old and I am up and about and getting on as normal except for doing heavy work and lifting my toddler. I am still a bit tender just now but nothing to write home about. When I had my first I had spinal headaches from thte epidural so I couldn't enjoy my baby wheras this time round I was able to enjoy her from the start. After having the sections, all thte midwives said I had made a wise decision which makes me feel better about the whole thing so I am sure I made the right decision for myself. Although I had no problems with my tear I didn't want to risk it the second time around and I had found some research into it happening again which scared me a little and that is what made me decide to opt for the section. If you haven't had your little one yet I hope you make the right decision for yourself. Good luck and let us know how you get on. xxxx

I think that only those who had a 3rd or 4th degree tear should give their two cents on the matter. There was one on here who only had a c-section. How can one compare the pain if they haven't had the other. I had a 4th degree tear without the doctor cutting and the recovery pain part lasted for about 6 weeks, but there are times where using the bathroom is a little tricky. I'm pregnant with my 2nd one and after reading all the replies am 99% for the c-section (need to talk to my husband first before calling the doctor to let her know)