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I am 27, have not been with my ex-boyfriend for six months, but we have continued to be s_xually active with each other. Although I was still on the pill, about a month and a half after we split I found out I was pregnant but I had a miscarriage. Now I am five weeks pregnant again and the baby is healthy. Our relationship is a very destructive and volatile one, he has been violent with me on several occasions, we bring out the worst in each other and there is a lot of anger and resentment between us, and we know that as the relationship has ended we should not continue to talk, let alone see each other. But now I am pregnant, and I am completely confused, due to the loss of my child previously and due to the fact that I am not entirely sure if I would ever have been able to go through with having an abortion anyway. We are not together, and will never be together, especially if a child is involved as it would not be in our child's best interests. We are so toxic for each other, and I fear that despite best intentions it will be impossible not to bring our feelings towards one another into play when raising a child. I do not want us to use our child in order to hurt each other, and I want to raise a happy, healthy child for whom I can provide the best. Can I do this, knowing that I will be a single mother, that there will be struggles financially and emotionally, and that this man and I will have to be in each other's lives forever. I want so much to keep my baby, but am I being selfish? Am I bringing a child into this world without being able to provide him or her with the best? All I have to give is my love, but is that always really enough? And despite how much we try to say that we will put our differences aside is it really realistic, or too idealistic?