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My bf doesn't seem to show any concern that we are having a child. He is excited and says he can't wait to be a dad, but he does not work as much as he could or should to save money or even to pay rent (I work 40 hrs. a wk and babysit 4 nights a week). I am 26 wks pregnant and thought that by now he would realize what is coming. Some people keep telling me that he does not get the concept as much as I do since I am the one carrying the baby and when the baby comes he will change. Is there any guys out there that were like this or should I just give up hope that he will grow up and be more responsible.
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I understand that completely. My dh had a job but would not work any overtime at all. We did not have a car or place to live, he was with relatives and so was I. It wasn't until after I had our second child that he got off his b___t to get us a place because my dad kicked me out. Hopefully your bf will change for you. We just got a car a month ago because he wouldn't go look at any and we didn't have the money. Now he is better, making at least enough money to cover rent, food, baby needs for the month. I'm hoping for you your bf makes a turn around. Good luck to you.
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 | K - February 3 |
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It's not easy to make a man understand something if they're just not ready to get the concept. I agree that he'll probably realize more about the financial aspects of raising a child when he actually sees the bills, though! You may try taking him to the store to start looking for baby things together, maybe seeing what these kinds of things really cost will make him realize that it is important to start saving money sooner rather than later!
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I did take him to the store when I registered. He really showed no interest. The problem is he is getting an inheritance in a few months and thinks that everything will be ok. I don't want hime to depend on that though. It is the whole fact that he cannot show any resposibility. I am not too worried about the money. I will have everything I need besides his support and understanding. He keeps feeding me excuses like he is trying to get things out of his system. I don't think that is fair. I don't get to do anything I want and get things out of my system. I have been with him for 5 years and he hasn't changed a bit and I don't think he is going to or he would have by now (knowing he has a child on the way).
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Some men do grow up once they have a child. My husband used to have 5 or 6 different jobs a year, and he used to quit whenever someone made him mad. Sometimes I'd be the only one working. Then we had our first baby and he got more responsible, started sticking with jobs. Now we've got two kids and he's working 2 full-time jobs so that I can be a full-time mom and wife. He won't miss work for anything--we spent all of last night in the emergency room and he still went to work today. So yes, a man can change a lot once he's a father.
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