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We had the perfect relationship, we were with each other 24/7 and loved it. We wanted a family about 5 years into our relationship, my wife was 31 at the time, she is 36 now and I am 42. We spent 5 years doing IVF and after many failed relationships my wife became pregnant with twins girls. We were so very happy. But only a month after we got the great news I became very ill and was diagnosed with a critical illness. She had a difficult pregnancy, spending a lot of it sat on my hospital bed. My illness made me very angry and we argued a few times for the first time in almost 10 years, I felt cheated as my illness stops me being the dad and husband I wanted to be. One of our twins was born with a type of brain damage and I know my wife felt very guilty. Then I was made redundant from a very well paid job. My wife has had to go back to work and she supports the family. I am controlling my illness better now and feel a lot healthier to the extent that I can interact well with my family and can look after my babies with help while my wife works. Forgot to mention that two weeks after the c-section my wife was rushed back into hospital for an emergency op and we nearly lost her. I do find it hard spending all day sat in the house with the babies. I am used to working and being very busy. I cannot get out and about like I could before I was ill. A couple of times that we have started kissing and it looks like it may go further she has stopped it saying that she does not feel comfortable. She has no problems with her shape as she is back to the size she was pre pregnancy and she is very proud of that. I have felt like something is wrong and I have asked her as we tend to communicate well. She did say that when I was very ill and very angry she didnt like me. She also said that she was scared to lose me and she would be alone with two babies without any support (which is true as both our families are not at all reliable) my illness may take me away early or it may not. Last night my wife said that she wants time on her own away from all of us. That she loves me but does not feel in love with me anymore and has felt like ending her life but knows I am too ill to take care of the babies. She has been telling me recently how staff at work think that she is flirting on the phone with another manager. She denies it and says she likes the break away from everything at home. I am very affectionate with my wife and we still cuddle every night and every morning and on the sofa but I think we both feel so very drained , like empty sh__ls. I asked her does she want to spend the rest of her life with me and she didnt answer at first, then she said she cannot answer that as she doesnt feel like she has any emotions left. I am so very scared now and I know the aded stress will make my illness worse but I do not know what to do. Please help.