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About a month ago i began talking to my ex again. Feelings that i thought were gone came back and now were both wanting to work things out... yesterday we talked and he told me i've been real distant with him s_xually and emotionally. He said i don't give him much attention like i did in the past and he he's being drivin away by my actions. I want to work things out with him and being open with him is what he's asking. Due to all we've been threw, i'm cautios too, but i really want to be with him... also i'm 3.5 wks pregnant w/ his baby... wat do i do to not loose him again. I love him and want to be that freaky girl i was before w/ him and i want to give all the attention... do i let my guard down and go for it? Some one plz help me!
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Oh and having unprotected s_x isn't being "open" enough for him....?
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You are pregnant with his child and he is NOT running to you... that says it all right there. I'm sorry, I really am, but it isn't supposed to be like that. Why don't you back off a bit and see what happens? Tell him that you want to be with him, but you feel like he is being a bit selfish, you are pregnant for gods sake. Please don't be a door mat. A good man doesn't respect that.
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mjvdec01 i completely agree with what you said.
its very sad that she sounds like she is indeed quite a pa__sive person and seems to want to 'please' this horrible man rather than think of herself first!! so he wants to get back with you only if you sort things out and pay him more attention and give him more s_x! where do you come into it? this guy sounds extremely selfish and to be frank, not good enough to father a child!!
you also really have to sit down and tell yourself, why does a 30 year old man want to go out with an 18 year old teen girl? the sad truth is that you will be easier to control for him and he can take as much advantage of you as he so desires!!! i went out with a controlling man, met him when i was 19 and i tell you now, they are absolutely no good for you, emotionally he will wreck with your head and he might even (when he thinks he owns you) get physically abusive. is that what you really want your baby to see? all for the sake that the baby's real father is there?
did he dump you i take it? as you dont seem strong enough to dump him. so lets say he dumped you and then a few months later got back in touch and started telling you all the things you do wrong etc etc. do you call that love? in reality he is most definately cheating on you (most controlling men do) and is having his fun and then having his cake (aka you).
you will feel very vulnerable being pregnant now, but you have to be selfish. otherwise i can just picture this a few years down the line, a battered wife and a child thats scared to death of her/his dad. Janay you need to be selfish now more than ever! good luck whatever you choose to do, but its pretty obvious you will stay with him as you sound very weak hun.
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I hope that you do not let your guard down!! I have been in a similar st_tuation as you. I was 18 and the guy I was seeinig was 29. I strung me along for almost 2 1/2 years. He broke my heart more times than I can count. In the end, he only wanted the s_x. I found woke up when I found out that he had another girlfriend the whole time we were together. I am sure there were others, but I couldn't prove it. When I finally called thing off for good, he actually started stalking me. I had to threaten him with a restraining order, change my number, change jobs, and move to get rid of him once and for all. He went as far as to say since he was my first, he owned me, and I belonged to him. Creepy huh? We broke up several times, but he always called telling me that everything was going to change and things would get better. Finally, I said NO MORE!! I later met my husband, and I never knew what it felt like to be loved until then. I am married and happy now, but the ex, he is still the same as he was back then. Still looking for his next piece of tail. I hope you the best, and I hope you find the strength to do what you know is right for you and your baby. Best of luck!!
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