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I see this is a great resource and I am asking for some help please!
First off....I am a Dad-to-be. I just got out of a relationship that lasted 6 1/2 years. Right after the break up, I met a wonderful woman. I know she is the one I want to spend my life with. We have been going out for about 3 months now which is not a very long time, but we have really connected and we both feel that we are meant for eachother.
About 3 weeks ago we found out that we are expecting. My Girlfriend is at 9 weeks right now. We are both very excited about the news because we both want to be parents and we do love eachother. I have met her parents and they have given me the thumbs up. She has met my Sister and my Mom, but the encounter with my Mom didn't go well as my Mom is still upset about my break-up.
This may sound funny, but I am a 30 year old Police Officer and I am afraid to tell my parents and her parents!! We are both afraid because though we have only been going out for about 3 months and we know we are meant for eachother, both our parents will probably have major problems because we haven't known eachother for any real length of time.
The bottom line is that we are going to raise our child and be the best parents we can, but we are TERRIFIED to tell our parents....any advice?
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Well, first Congradulations on your new family! I'm sure that things are going to work out wonderfully for you. Let me say that Imy husband and I knew that we were meant to be together from the firsat time we laid eyes on each other. Love at first sight really does happen. Most people don't believ that b/c it is rare, but when you know you know. So don't be afraid to let people know that you are serious and that your love for each other is not a joke, and not to be taken as a whim. I am also sure that no matter how muchwhoever doesn't seem to approve, let that be their problem, not yours. Your mother shouldn't be so upset about your break up. You are a 30 year old grown man with a career and now a family. You don't need anyones approval .Just follow your heart and everything will fall into place. Besides, I'm sure that evryone will be extatic when they hear that your gf is expecting. I mean, how could anyone be so cold as to not be excited about the birth of a new family member. The wrinkles will ironed out over time. Once again, Congrats and good luck!!!
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**sorry about all the typos!
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Well congrats! Your parents may have an issue at first but hopefuly they will come around, after all this is their grandchild! I would suggest telling them that while your love for each other is brand new, you have made the commitment to one another and this baby to give it everything you have. While there are no gaurentees in anything your both going with the att_tude that this is forever. Hope that helps
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I think you should BE strong at EXPECT- at least respect especially from your mother.... You including your mother in these special moments are a privalege and she should only be supportive and hopefully keep anything negative to herself.... Thank being said DO NOT BE afraid to tell her.... You are a man and you are with the one you love and you sharing with her this news is out of respect and love.... I would start that way maybe invite mom and your lady out to eat together- give mom a heads up your going to share good news- keep us posted please? Lorie ann
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One big piece of advice is... both of you tell your parents ALONE, since your mom is so upset about your breakup do not take the new gf along when you tell your mom about the baby. There will probably be things said to hurt everyones feelings here but you dont want "bad blood" between your mom and the new gf. And if you and the gf are so happy about this baby, dont let everyone ruin that for you. Its suppose to be a happy time and if they cant be happy for you then who gives a rats behind! I doubt their all living their lives and worrying what you think.
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one word. Grandchild. use it! it can melt even the angrist heart...trust me i'm a 19yr old mom. get past this part and the rest will be a blast, your moms will go nuts shopping at baby stores ect. good luck, congrats, and enjoy your whole pregnancy experience. it doesn't last very long, and is absolutly amazing. and then you'll have so much fun with your little one you won't even remember this nervous part
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Congrats Cop1976, you sound very excited. I think that Lilmomma2B gave very good advice... talk to your Mom on your own, because as she mentioned, with the shock of things, there probably WILL be a few things said, and you guys probably wouldn't get the initial royal treatment and hugs like you would want. And you don't want any bad blood building up from the beginning. Your Mom is going to be thrown for a loop, so expect it (mine would have been the same). And in all honestly, your Mom is probably wonderful like most of ours, so give her time to adjust. She'll come around and when she does, she'll welcome the new little addition to your family. Again, congratulations and DO keep us posted as to how things go! :-)
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Hey Everyone....Thank you for all the advice. Well My Girlfriends parents have been told and though they were a bit disappointed, they are happy and excited!! My Dad took the news very well and he too is excited and happy that he is becoming a Grandfather. My Mom on the other hands reacted pretty much exactly like I expected. She feels that I was "trapped" by my Girlfriend and my Mom is not appearing to be supportive at all.
My Girlfriend and i have decided to get married before the birth of our child at the end of June in a small ceremony with immediate family. Then next year we will do a big "shin-dig" with everyone! My Girlfriends parents want to meet my parents before the wedding, but my Mom has told me that she doesn't want to meet them. I know my Mom is upset, but I want her to be a part of this important part of my life. I don't know what to do. I hope that she comes around before the wedding. I don't want her having any regrets in the future.
Any thoughts??
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I am sorry to hear about your Moms reaction byut give her time and I'm syre that she will come around. I am glad to hear that evrything else went so well. Congradulations once again not only on your little blessing but on your wedding. Best wishes to you all.
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Glad to hear your reception wasn't entirely bad! As for your mum, grandchildren have a habit of smoothing things over a bit. Good luck and congratulaions.
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Hey Everyone, Just a bit more of an update for you. My girlfriend...now my Fiance have decided to hold off the wedding until next summer after the baby is here. This decision has had some positive effects. My Mom is now more accepting of the situation. She is talking to my Fiance now and things appear to be coming together!! I'll keep you posted on our progress.....we are entering week 15 and we are so very excited!!
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Don't feel bad about your age and being afraid to tell your parents. I was 34 when I got pregnant with dd#1 and my husband (then boyfriend) and I had only been dating about 2 months. Same thing as you and your girlfriend we knew that we were meant to be together. I did tell my parents fairly early, but we waited until I was about 6 months before we told my husband's family. It didn't have anything to do with a poor relationship between me and them. He had a son that was only 7 at the time and we felt it would just be better to wait. I am now 38 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child and we couldn't be happier - nor could our families. Good Luck to you and I wish you the best. Things happen for a reason-if you know in your heart that this is what you want, enjoy it and the right time will come to tell.
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Didn't read all the posts........Yea! Glad things are working out for you. My husband and I didn't get married until our daughter was 18 mo. Some people feel they HAVE to be married before the baby is born. We wanted to be able to enjoy our child and her first year and then concentrate and enjoy our wedding. We decided to get married in Hawaii ALONE! LOL We had both had big weddings before and had no desire to do that again. I am happy things have worked out for you. Glad to see your Mom is coming around. I guarantee once she holds that baby in her arms, she'll forget any misgivings she ever had! :-)
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