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Hey, do you feel better yet? I think I know what it is. Men are so nice during a first pregnancy, and then with the next one they're like, okay, did all this before, used up my quota of helping for the rest of the marriage...My husband is being a real turd lately. I'm supposed to be on bedrest but he can't even make his sandwich or get off the couch to get his plate of dinner. I've been freezing stuff for him to heat in the oven while I'm in the hospital (I'll be there 4 days probably) but when I show him the stuff in the freezer, he laughs and says he can't imagine cooking anything while there's a restaurant open in town. He told me to make sure to buy diapers for our 3 year old (who is finally pottytrained after a year of desperation and cleanups) because he doesn't want any messes. Today he told me how to do laundry on bedrest: put the stuff in the machine, turn it on, lie down till it stops, get up, throw it in the dryer...I'm having my tubes tied when this one is born, and just to be mean I'm going to tell him I want to be extra careful and can't have s_x with him until he's gone and had a vasectomy.

look no offence, but men work 50 hours a week, do you know how hard it is to work 50 hours a week? never resting, and when you get home your back hurts so bad you cant even bend over? I work as a contruction worker and i work 10 hours a day MINIMUM, im so tired when i get home that i nearly drop, on my days off I help my wife all i can, and even when i get off work, i leave for work at 5 in the morning and i dont get home until around 3 or 4 or even sometimes 5 in the eviening, my wife is not pregnant and she doesnt have a job. we have one child who is 2 years old, and in my opinion i would rather sit at home and watch soaps all day long and deal with a kid then work for 10 hours in the sun and have a back ache just to make the bills, pregnant women need breaks, and once they have the kid then they get a break, but women need to understand one thing before they go blaming their husbands for something else, men get NO breaks, i get one week paid vacation and thats it, and you know what i do with it? i stay at home and help my wife with the baby. every other day/week all i do is work. So give your man a break sometimes and sweat him so much. i understand where you are coming from, he should watch the kids so you can shower or what not, but you cant expect him to clean the whole house when he gets off work, hes tired, achey and probably just wants to spend some time with you while he can, you have to remember that men dont get to spend much time with the kids, and when they get to they want to do that and rest, not clean, women i dont think appreciate or know how hard it is to work manual labor all day long, its not fun, its hard, and let me tell you, i would rather sit home and watch soaps and take care of a kid then work 50 hours + a week. no offence ladies but you dont know the first thing about that kind of work. I know its hard on you mothers, but its hard on us to and its not fair for us to get the blame. as i said its one thing to simply watch the kid while you shower, or clean up the mess we make, but if the house is a wreck and you expect your husband who just wokred 10 hours to clean it, that really isnt fair, i dont know if thats the case, but im just giving you my point of view. thanks and good luck.

I am in agreement with bobby here, my wife is 3 months pregnant and she works 30 hours per week as a bank teller, she doesnt need to, my salary alone can pay the bills, i work inside sales for a window company and i pull in 45 grand a year, she works because she wants to, ive asked her many times to quit working and she wont, if my wife can work 30 hours a week on her feet while being pregnant, then no offence but dont you think you can clean a little bit of the house? instead of asking your exausted husband to do it. You say he has it good? ha, hunny dont even go there, i worked manual labor for 3 years and let me tell you it was the worst time of my life, all i did was work, i didnt even get to see my baby or my wife. you may be pregnant, but in all fairness you get rest, you get to watch some tv, you get to do this and that, i didnt when she was pregnant with our first, all i did was work, even when she wasnt pregnant she sat around and watched tv, and i didnt care thats what i wanted her to do, but my point is this, you may carry around a baby, but its for 9 months, i will never stop working, im 25 and i will be working for another 45 years, my company does allow retirement benifits until i am 70 unless i get injured or i cant work anymore due to health issues. 45 years compared to 9 months? come on now, even you can see the disrepincy, i didnt want to do this the rest of my life, but i have children, i have bills to pay, so i work my b___t off, as is your husband, dont be so unappreciative.

another p__sed off preggo, just to let you know im not talking to you, i was talking to the one that started this discussion, another p__sed off, im sorry your husband is so lazy, him not getting his own sandwich is a little rediculous. I can even do that no matter how tired i am lol, difference between cleaning the whole house and a sand. you know?

Hey Bobby and Tom - you have made some pretty big generalizations there. I was in the Navy for 8 years, shipboard for two of those. Busted my a__s the whole time. I know all about heat and sore backs and ice cold working conditions - went to the gulf twice during desert shield and storm. I have the Navy Achievement Medal (two in fact), the Battle E, the Kuwaiti Liberation Medal, the Southwest Asia Service Medal, the Good Conduct Medal and numerous ribbons. I was back at work 6 weeks after having our first, then 6 weeks after having our twin girls (and immediately sent on the USS Jason out to the gulf for 6 months) and I didn't see our daughters again until they were 7 months old. I have always worked along men, and most sound alot like you... so let me clear some things up and put some things into perspective FOR YOU. Pregnancy is a b___h, you feel terrible, worry constantly,get pressure from hubby, then get to go through birth. Then we get the break you say? No way... After that the work BEGINS. 45 Years vs. nine months you say? Not quite. First, the majority of stay at home moms do not sit on the couch watching soaps waiting for their men to get home to yell at them to bring them dinner. They work what us navy people call 'damage control' - you see, Children are not appliances you can turn off once dad is out of the house, enabling the soap opera watching to commence. They yell, poop, make incredible messes, cry, poop, want another cookie, drink, pee, nap, poop, water, poop, and want another cookie NOW with screaming fits that a sailor would need ear protection for. They can't be reasoned with, or joked with, or be adult company. And that continues for 5 years, if you only have one and you put him in daycare kindergarten as soon as possible. But the housework never stops, EVER. Not until you are both dead. No retirement plan, no exit strategy. I PERSONALLY know I would rather work 50 hours at a job site where I could make cra__s comments b___hing about how lazy the wife is than deal with her life and responsibilities. Honestly that is why I continue working even though both my husband and I make great money and I dont need to. It's easier than staying at home with the kids. Gods truth. And I still have the lion's share of kid watching and housework when I get home from that 50 hour job (I AM the WOMAN, after all.) So when you read a post from a worn out woman, cut her some slack, and realize that you are OUT OF THE HOUSE 50 hours a week, and she is stuck there, all the time, and working 24/7. geez, give her the backrub - bring her some flowers, fill her a bath, and feel good about yourself and the way you can make her feel so incredibly happy for such little effort on your part.

Bobby, do you know how hard it is to carry a baby and chase a 16 month old around? Im so glad you all think we just sit at home and watch soaps all day.Who do you think washed the dishes you left last night, or the clothes that need to be washed, or cleans up the messes the other kids make?I think your wives and girlfriends should consider doing what im about to do.Im going to go out and buy one of those pregnant belly vests for my husband and hes going to take the day off so he can chase the 16 month old around, clean the house,make sure the baby is fed, napped, and clean,then still have time to cook dinner.I would much rather work out in the sun for 10 hours then this job.

p.s. I am 6 months pregnant right now, and working between 40 and 55 hours a week - my hubby is an enlightened man, and a saint - as far as men go. :) He cooks dinner and gets me my plate, but I clean the dishes and laundry and clean the house. The garage is HIS, and he goes to karate twice a week, and tinkers with his cla__sic car ( a 67 firebird) - he hunts and fishes and hikes, and I let him have his time to be a "man". He rewards me with flowers and backrubs and helps when he can, we just need to understand each other's needs.

Lmao Kris, thats exactally how it is for us women.They think all we do is watch soap operas and they forget to mention the fact that we have other children who need more attention then anything alse in the world.

I give my wife all i can, i do plenty of things for her, and im not referring to you kris, some women like you do work and tough it out, and men dont yell to get their dinners made, haha dinner now that you mention it, i havent had nice home cooked meal in about 2 months, i usually get fast food on the way home or i order pizza. Sometimes i will even cook the meal, i just dont think its right that the person who started thsi discussion get mad at her husband because hes tired and doesnt feel like cleaning the whole house, mabye she should take a lesson from you and get busy you know? thats all im saying, im not saying pregnancy is easy, but working 50 hours isnt easy either and i think this woman has no respect for the fact that her husband works his b___t off, its like men have to respect women for taking care of kids, but women dont have to respect what men do, its just all double standards, and it gets irritating. I have nothing against women, but i would like some respect to for providing for my family.

Try it before you say that, doing dishes cooking dinner and all that isnt anything compared to construction work. what do u think i do on my vacations? have fun? haha no! i do mommys job so she can rest, and i find it not nearly as hard as working 50 hours. sorry.

Hang in there, Preggo! I am pulling for you :) I think most men understand, but dont UNDERSTAND, what women deal with, so we just have to suffer through. That's what these chats are for, right!! :)

I dont know why both of you(kris and pregg) are getting mad at me and bob because our opinions differ from yours, why do women get so mad when men dont agree with them? All im saying is this, working all your life is very hard, take my wife's mom for example, her husband works for the post office as a postmaster, he started as a sorter and a mail deliverer, hes been working for 40 years there and hes 63 his wife is 56 and do you know how many jobs she has had even part time since they have been married? 2, and she worked like 16 hours a week her kids were grown up when she was 45, so basically since shes been 45 shes been living the good life, kicking back, watching T.V. her kids do the household chores, they have since moved out of course but i mean all im saying is in the long run women like yourselves wont have to worry about the kids, once they turn 15 or 16 they can do dishes, they can clean etc. once they are grown up they dont have to work as hard, they get to rest. I wish i could retire at 45 but that isnt going to happen let me tell you, this is my wife's last kid its our 2nd, so when shes 40 shes going to be set. If you would rather work for another 40 years then deal with pregnancy and cleaning up after kids until they are around 15 then be my guest, i would much rather clean, do dishes, wake them up etc. then have a dead end job for 45 years. Sorry its my opinion, and in case your wondering yes i have done that before. Just like bob has, on my vacations i rarely do anything my wife and i occa__sionaly go out to dinner but most of the time im doing the mommy thing, dont i deserve a break? I think the work load is even, someone has to work their b___ts off, and someone has to clean, and i dont think thats all women do is watch soap operas, but hey, my wife does, she kicks back and watches TV. In case your wondering my wife does agree with me, shes worked full time before and she hated it, she told me just last night in fact, she said thank god i dont have to work and pay the bills, because it would run me nuts. Im not insensitive and i dont think Bob is either, but men have a right to stand up for themselves when women say we have it "easy" because um, we dont. and i know women dont have it easy, its hard, im sure it is hard, but what we do is hard to, and i take offence when a woman says i have it easy. Its not, our opinions differ it doesnt make me a bad person and it doesnt make you a bad person, I wish you both good luck in your pregnancies and both of you will be in my prayers, and i hope that your kids grow up and live happy lives because thats whats important, not who has it the hardest, life isnt easy no matter how you cut it.

Bobby, you do make some valid points and missed a couple. You are absolutely right that men do need to be respected for providing for their family, and men do have a lot of demands placed upon them. I dont think anyone said differently. But all preggo said was that she asked him to HELP clean A room - NOT the WHOLE house. And all she asked for was A DAY off, not a week, or a month, or a lifetime. Just to show love for her and a minute of kindness to relieve some stress. And you came back with the "how dare you complain when you have it so easy" line. And as you are married, you have to know a happy marriage demands MUTUAL respect, and I dont see you showing any. Complaining that you 'even made dinner ONCE' doesn't go along way in showing you as a contributer to the unending tasks. We could go round and round, but lets agree that both the man and woman WORK and both parties need time to THEMSELVES to be able to give to others without going empty inside. It happens all the time, speaking (again) from experience. My first husband and I split after 12 years in part because I got empty trying to be everything to everyone and not getting anything back. I got tired, and he got a girlfriend, and that, as they say, was that. I know better this time around and will give all, but this time I get back some too., and feel really great about my life. Best of luck to you and your wife, and to preggo and her husband.

And to Tom, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I HAVE a 15 year old and HOLY COW!! I also have two 13 year olds. They are a different kind of work - cheerleading, 4h, endless slumber parties and the mess a__sociated with THAT, keeping their pants on (seriously - they are hormone driven and act like, well, teenagers) They scream at you that they hate you, they WONT clean, they are as helpless around the house as toddlers and as slovenly as humanly possible - they drive you to tears and in the face of it ALL you have to be the ADULT and stay calm and love them through it. Add homework, the fear of what trouble they will get themselves into when they aren't supervised at the school dances or over at a 'girlfriends' house, and you think that's EASY??? And you think your mother in law sits on her a__s? Who is washing the dishes? Doing the shopping? the laundry? Changing the sheets? Good ole Postmaster general? think not. Probably he's saying, "I did MY time, WOMAN, i am RETIRED now, so get on it!" Like she has been for the last 45 years, only there is no retirement for her... read my above post about MUTUAL RESPECT.

Kris, i didnt appreciate it when preggo told her man he has it easy, apparently she doesnt respect the fact that he works, or appreciates it, does that make him right to not help her? no way, if my wife asked me, absolutely i would have helped her, I would break my back for my wife. If i could do her job and mine i would but as you know thats not possible, it just greatly offended me when she said that men have it easy because we dont, thats all i was trying to say, and so was Tom i wasnt complaining because i made dinner once, and trust me it was more than once, i dont mind cooking, but what im saying is not all women actually cook, my wife doesnt like cooking, which is fine, i really dont care either way, i dont go home and demand my dinner, i make my dinner most of the time or like i said i call pizza or grab some burgers. I mean i imagin your in the navy because you want to right? imagin being in a job where you dont want to be there, you think i woke up one day and said boy i want to work construction and rarely see my family and work my tail off, no way, i never wanted it, but it pays the bills, it keeps food on the table for my wife and our kids. I dont wake up in the morning and say boy im off to my easy job where i do nothing, I wake up in the morning and find my kid growing up in front of my eyes, and im wasting all of it working my b___t off. and im sure it will be the same way when my wife has our next child. and i can see where tom is coming from, im 32 and im still only a hand, i might make foreman in the next 5 years i hope, but even being a foreman is a big fat headache, that means longer hours and more paperwork, but foreman is what pays more so thats what im going for. So when i get on this chat and i see someone say "men have it good" it tends to get my riled up, because i know i dont, im missing my kids life because im working 10 hours a day and there isnt anything i can do about. I'm not complaining, im just saying men dont have it good and neither do women, pregnancy is hard on both partners, and sometimes i think women dont understand that, they think itsj ust on them and its not, i didnt mean to offend anyone on this message board but i was very upset when i read what preggo wrote especially when i would do anything for my wife.

I used to work 80 hours a week as a convenience store manager. Let me tell you, sometimes that is easier than being home with a little kid. When I was at work I knew exactly what I needed to do. I knew when I could stop, and I could do one task without someone running around undoing everything else I've done all day. I could also go to the bathroom by myself. There were certain hours the store was closed, which meant I knew I didn't have to do anything then. Toddlers don't close, they don't stop, and my daughter can destroy my entire living room in the time it takes me to hang up one load of laundry. My husband and I were working opposite shifts because we couldn't afford daycare. We had one day off together in the last year (guess when I got pregnant?) and we shared the household chores. Then, when I started the third trimester, my health made it necessary for me to stop working. I'm supposed to be resting at home so we don't have another preemie. My husband is working his usual job, and a part-time job as a museum guard. My daughter is delighted to have mommy home, and so she asks me for something every 5 minutes. My husband is happy that he can treat me like a maid (the year my daughter was born was the first year I didn't make more money than he did) so he is throwing his garbage on the floor and generally being a b___thead. I just found out I'll have to have my baby next week, and I'm afraid he'll decide not to feed any of the pets while I'm gone, or put clean clothes on our daughter, or feed her three times a day. He was so nice to me during my first pregnancy that I feel like I've lost a friend this time around (although last time I did work until the day our daughter was born, so maybe he liked me more then.)