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I used to work 80 hours a week as a convenience store manager. Let me tell you, sometimes that is easier than being home with a little kid. When I was at work I knew exactly what I needed to do. I knew when I could stop, and I could do one task without someone running around undoing everything else I've done all day. I could also go to the bathroom by myself. There were certain hours the store was closed, which meant I knew I didn't have to do anything then. Toddlers don't close, they don't stop, and my daughter can destroy my entire living room in the time it takes me to hang up one load of laundry. My husband and I were working opposite shifts because we couldn't afford daycare. We had one day off together in the last year (guess when I got pregnant?) and we shared the household chores. Then, when I started the third trimester, my health made it necessary for me to stop working. I'm supposed to be resting at home so we don't have another preemie. My husband is working his usual job, and a part-time job as a museum guard. My daughter is delighted to have mommy home, and so she asks me for something every 5 minutes. My husband is happy that he can treat me like a maid (the year my daughter was born was the first year I didn't make more money than he did) so he is throwing his garbage on the floor and generally being a b___thead. I just found out I'll have to have my baby next week, and I'm afraid he'll decide not to feed any of the pets while I'm gone, or put clean clothes on our daughter, or feed her three times a day. He was so nice to me during my first pregnancy that I feel like I've lost a friend this time around (although last time I did work until the day our daughter was born, so maybe he liked me more then.)

Actually Kris when im over at my mother-in-laws house her husband when he gets off work does most of the cleaning believe it or not. and the house never really is that dirty because its just the two of them. She changes their sheets once a month and does the dishes mabye once every 3 days and they have a dishwasher so its usually easy. As a kid i cleaned alot actually. I never went out i was always a tidy person and i still am till this day. I was taught responsibility at a young age. Being a postmaster general is much harder then loading a dishwasher, again why are you getting so p-o'd? my opinion differs from yours big deal, when i was a kid i did the shopping, i did my own laundry i did in fact my parents laundy also, those are things that have to be done, and are done alot of the time by the postmaster general, you say bobby and i generalized? your generalizing now, saying men get off work and do nothing,. haha you know what i do when i get off work? most of the time i clean our bedroom and i do our laundry and i do most of that stuff. Trust me all my mother in law has done is sit on her a__s, no lie, my wife argues with her about it all the time. When they were kids they were the ones cleaning not the mother in law and do you know what a headache being a postmaster is? do you have any idea how much mail that place gets in a day? and what that poor man has to deal with? I tell you this, i would rather have my job then be a postmaster its very challenging and if you mess up millions of peoples mail will also get messed up. A little easier then loading a dishwasher, which my mother in law doesnt do, trust me, she even wanted to hire a maid once! The woman is unbelievable trust me, im not saying all women are like that, im just saying my motheri n law is that way, i dont think you or preggo is so dont take it personally

Well preggo thats different your husband is a lazy bum if he throws c___p on the ground, thats a completely different story. But please realize that not all men are that way, and not all of them have it good, i know i dont. Good luck with him, dont take his c___p ok he can pick up trash your not a slave.

OMG, I just have to laugh at the comment that was made that when the baby is born the mother gets a break. What a bunch of BS!!! How, funny, I wish I could sit around all day watching soaps, but how could I with all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, feeding? Hey, at least at work you get two breaks & a lunch. I never get that, and my work day doesn't end until the kids are in bed. Even then I have to use the evening to catch up on everything I didn't get to that day. Sheesh!

Preggo, Bobby and Tom, thanks for a really funny and interesting thread - literally Tom, I starting laughing OUT LOUD when I read the part about your done parenting at 15 bit, I almost peed my pregnant pants!! :) You guys kill me - and you both sound like good guys - and wish you the best! I guess that's the whole Mars and Venus thing. I gotta get now, but thanks again for lightening up my day, I haven't laughed so hard in a while. :)

You can tell this is somewhat of a touchy subject. My husband works between 50 adn 70 hours a week. He works 5 days a week and maybe 1 saturday a month. He had back surgery 2 years ago. So HE knows back pain. I had disk fusion a year ago June. SO WE KNOW ABOUT BACK PAIN!!!!!!!!!! He replaces natural gas pipeline. And no it is not an easy job. It is a bust your a__s at work all day and eat lunch while work. Anyway I work 40 hours a week. When I get home I sit down for a few, when he gets home he does the same. TOGETHER we make dinner and he empties the dishwasher so I can unload it. He does all of his own laundry and helps me with our 4 year old. Gives her a bath cleans her room picks up living room or whatever else needs to be done. I am 17 weeks preg and am always well rested. SO to the men and women here it is all team work! Everyone wants to live in the house so everyone needs to help out. I was a stay at home mom with our daughter until she was 2 and the only thing that has changed in our routine is no bottles or diapers. So quit pointing fingers put your foot down and SHARE all the responsibilites of teh house hold. My husband has 15 minutes of down time when he gets home and then we start doing our chores toether. My husband is gone by 5:30 am and the earliest i have seen him home all summer is 6pm sometimes he does not get home until midnight it depends on how things go. If I dont want to cook dinner i tell him i am not cooking tonight and BAM he starts frying porkchops making potatoes or whatever else he wants. Of course this is when he is home at a decent hour. Everyone needs to quit b___hing at eachother and to their other halves and come up with something that works. this has worked for 7 years for us. So kids really play no part in it. Speak up and figure something out.

Bobby, not every man works as hard as you may.When my husband and i got together i was 15.I had a job(even know it fast food) when we got together. I got married when i was 16.Even though not too long after that i found out i was pregnant,i continued to work when he sat at home with his internet and cable. I worked my whole pregnancy, i almost gave birth in a diner.Then about 6 weeks after the birth of my daughter i went back to work and continued to work the same diner job.I found out i was pregnant 7 months ago but i decided to keep working until the baby was born once again but 3 months ago the diner decided to let me go being that i was pregnant and couldnt manage my morning sickness and the smells of the food.He never even thought about getting a job until i threatened to stop paying his cable and internet bill. I still remember the look on his face when he turned on the TV and there was no cable. He got a job 6 months ago.Im 17.I wont be 18 until november but ill give birth in october. Even though when i had a job, i still had to come home and clean,watch a baby and try to get a few hours of sleep before i worked again.I got him everything he wanted when i was working,i did everything.He thinks that because he has had a job for 6 months that its ok to make a mess and not clean it or just come in an lay down and go to bed?I dont think so

Oh and I forgot to add something. All my life I have done manual labor. Roofing, paving,framing, auto body shop and pipeline replacement. I am now an office manager. I definately held my own out in the "mans" world. I would probably go and do it again So I have played on both sides of the field. Neither is easier. Both hard it very different ways! So lets quit saying my job is harder than yours.

Yep its a very touchy subject lol.My husband works 40-50 hours a week also but he somehow still finds the time to help me with house hold chores.Another p__sed off preggo, when i went into labor with my son 6 months ago, my husband "forgot" to feed the hopper mice we had and when i got out of the hospital a week later it looked like he never even looked at the cage.It was dirty and the room stunk but he said he looked and looked but couldnt find the source of the smell.Lol how about looking on the dresser?Then he looked as if he hisself was starving too.The house was a mess.He said he didnt know how to wash the dishes so he just left them for when i got home, that he didnt know how to work the washer so he put in the clothes but then they started piling up so much that he just put some in the dryer and the floor,My son,12, said that thank god i was home because his father had made a huge mess and he was scared hed get lost in it.He said he got up once and caught his father beating the microwave because he couldnt figure out how to get it to work.Needless to say we invested in a microwave that all u have to do it turn the knob.If i ever get pregnant again i think ill leave a "how to" list for him lol.

Prego mom i didnt say that it was ok for him to do that to you, i said hes being a lazy bum if what you say is true about him throwing trash on the ground and not picking it up or whatever. Thats simply uncalled for, but im just trying to get you to understand that not all men are like that, im not, and im sorry hes being that way to you, you do not deserve that.

Can I whine, too??? my hubby's in the Army - he works 9 to 5, plus an hour of PT from 6:30 a.m. til 7:30 a.m. I stay home, "taking it easy" per instruction of my doctor, who has studiously avoided using the words "bed" and "rest" together - I think because she knows I'll have a meltdown if I'm officially confined to bed til this baby is born (in the next 2 weeks) By taking it easy, I clean our small apartment, do our dishes (dishwasher, yay), laundry, and cook. If I weren't pregnant, I'd have no problems doing the housework - there really isn't much of it to be done. The problem comes from the fact that I'm lugging around an extra 70 pounds, and getting about a third of the sleep I'm used to. Oh, and the wonderful husband calls every 15 minutes to make sure I'm not in labor, so I can't get in a nap during the day. My legs, ankles and feet swell to about 3 times their normal size, but the swelling goes away with ma__sages... unfortunately, I can't reach them to ma__sage them effectively. If we're sitting down, watching a movie, I'll ask hubby to rub my feet - which he does, for about 30 seconds...and heaven forbid I should ask him to scratch my back or anything of the sort...I try not to get upset with him, but it's hard, because I'm sooo uncomfortable. Last night, I was baking cookies because HE asked for them - I asked him to help me put the dough on the cookie sheets, and you would've thought I'd asked him to sacrifice his left t______e. He's not a "macho" man - he's a computer geek, and I dared to ask him for help just as he'd started a new game on Battlefield 2...oh my...what a horrible person I am. Sigh...

wow, what a range of opinions from men and women on what the other half of the relationship should be doing. it's unfortunate that the t_tle of this thread says to ALL men, because not all men are lazy. rather than broadcast to all men that they need to work harder for you, why not discuss this with your own husband and come to an understanding of the dynamic that benefits the couple. if you make it clear that preganancy is all about you and his needs/feelings/wishes are secondary, how do you expect him to feel good about doing nice things? clearly you have a situation that you would like to change, but look at from the perspective that changing the dynamic will benefit all the stakeholders, not just the woman.

DH exactly my point! Women all over the world, and my wife is no exception she acts as if this pregnancy only involves her, and that kills me. I still help her and what not but my feelings and things like that are secondary and again you've restated what ive been trying to get across to these women, NOT ALL MEN ARE LAZY and they continue to get angry at me and i think tom was the other guy who shared my feelings on this subject. Men need to be included more in the pregnancy. The mom gets pregnant, delivers the baby, has an instant connection with the child and has the task of taking care of it and getting to know it, while the men get screamed and yelled at the whole entire time. I love my wife and i know that pregnant women are horemonal but sometimes us men are left completely out, which causes us to become very depressed we love our women and our babies and we want to be included.

Bobby, no one was accusing you of being lazy.I was just saying that men shouldnt think that because they work they are incapable of doing anything outside the job.Theres no need to get mad about anything anyways, i was venting about my husband not you.And technically pregnancies do only involve women.How do you think single women make it in this world?They conceive, they carry it for 9 months, they give birth, they b___stfeed, and most of all, they get to stay at home with the child and be unappreciated because most men think its easy to raise a child.You will probably never understand unless you get pregnant Bobby.Alot of these kids act differently in front of others.Just because they choose not to rip the house into shreds or yell or do things they arent supposed to in front of you guys doesnt mean it doesnt happen when your not there.I swear i think my daughter trys to make me look crazy when i tell people what she does when we are alone then when she goes over to their house she is all innocent and never makes a mess.The purpose of this thread was to enlighten guys on what pregnant women like and to let yall know that once in a while it would be nice to see it happen.The t_tle never said "all men are lazy".Theres no need to get all upset and start an argument out of a suggestion.

Well all i know is that when my wife is pregnant all she does is scream and yell at me, and when she makes a choice about the baby im the last to know, all im saying is im tired of being left out of my childs life, women may have the babies, but the men plant the seeds, it takes 2 to make a baby not one just because women carry the baby doesnt mean the men arent to be included.

Kris, you laugh and make jokes and make light of what i say, its not funny at all that your kids yell that they hate you, because i never yelled that to my parents and when i was a kid i took care of my own cleaning, my father pa__sed away when i was only 17 so i was doing the majority of the house hold chores. Obviously your kids are misbehaved, mabye you should quit working at the navy so you can be there to guide them. When my wife was a kid she was also a clean person, always had her room tidy and her laundry done, i dont understand why your kids dont keep up their chores. mabye you should punish them when they dont clean up their rooms etc. my parents used to take all my dirty clothes if i didnt do my laundry in a timely manor and take them to a professional dry cleaner and i would have to pay the 100 dollars or so charge for all the clothes being cleaned just to get my clothing back. I learned quick to do my laundry. Do you let your kids get away with alot? if so you need to lay down the law. Kids can be kids but it shouldnt be abused, i had a happy childhood but i also had responsibility i was also mature. even at 13 i wasnt a messy person. i detest messy things, i hate living in filth, which is why i cleaned when i was younger, teach your kids to have pride in your home and not to be so lazy, dont do their laundry, dont clean their rooms, do what my parents did, take them to a cleaner and make them pay the bill to get it out. That tought me quick let me tell you that. I never left my laundry un-finished again. I dont think its a laughing matter im not dumb i can tell your sarcasm in all this, as i said, if your kids are that big of a pain, then get on them and punish them, teach them to be responsible young men/women. Dont let them go out if their room is left in filth. Make them do the dishes sometimes have a nice routine. My parents used to have a shedule mondays and wed. my mom would do the dishes. tuesdays and thursdays i would do them. and fridays sat. and some sundays my dad would do them when he got home from work you need to have a cohesive family, not out of control kids. not saying your kids are, but from the sounds of it they are a bit wild and that will only continue when they get into their late teens. just some food for thought.