Pregnancy Info HOME

I HAD EXACTLY the same problem. I don't think the problem at the root is marijuana---it's about him being a dad. HE HAS TO DECIDE if he wants to be a dad---and being a dad includes being responsible, and not bringing any negative influences on babe, not risking arrest etc. If he decides marijuana is more important--than honey, it's soooo good that he's out of your life now. SERIOUSLY. You don't want to be sitting at home with a screaming baby pulling your hair out while he's vegged out on the couch, or even worst out for the night. If he decides to be a dad, just like you, there's SACRIFICES. You sacrifice your body to bring this babe into the world, the man can sacrifice a risky, unhealthy addiction. You need to take control of the situation for the sake of your babe--let that mother instinct take over. PROTECT YOUR BABY--BE EMPOWERED, DO THE RIGHT THING--FIGHT FOR YOUR BABE's WELL-BEING. Set up some barriers and rules--no smoking pot is a VERY reasonable request. Discuss with him how you both are going to do that---how you can trust him. Maybe some urine tests so he knows he has to be accountable. IT"S WORTH IT!!!! I PROMISE..IT'S SO HARD, and you don't want to loose him--and being pregnant you want him to be around and help--but he's not going to be ANY help if he's not on board with the babe, or frankly high all the time....YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE HE DECIDES, not you or the circ_mstance that he wants to be a dad---. My hubby and I are now expecting our second, he's got a great job--we;ve got a beautiful son, and a bright future--but if I didn't pull a line in the sand things wouldn't have turned out as they did. Today he's thankful for my iron hand...email me if you like smilefull at hotmail dot com. hope you're okay sweetie.

and, to those that are like "marijuana use is fine" babies and pot don't mix....if you have a child you need to be responsible, and partaking in a behaviour that doesn't leave you mentally clear/risk being arrested/effects your short term memory/puts child at risk for sids/ puts child at risk for all the bad effects of any smoke inhalation/ is not a positive role model for your babe---is NOT responsible parenting. Your children deserve more than a baked parent. They deserve your best--and I know marijuana does not bring out the best in people.

Im not sure Smileful who you get your statistics from, but not everyone who smokes pot are burnouts and lay on teh couch and do nothing. Im not a pot smoker myself but my b/f is. has been for a long time and seeing as when we met I didnt' have a problem with it why would I ask him to change now. He only smokes a joint a day and sometimes not even that. He doesn't lay on teh couch adn do nothing though. He can go on with his day like anyone else. We have talked about him smoking pot in teh care of his child and he said he would never do that. But if he wants to go outside and smoke while im at home anywyas then so be it.. Hes not being a bad father, and he is still being responsible. Smoking pot isn't the same for everyone, I could take a couple puffs and be totally gone where as someone who is use to it it won't even bother. Im not saying that pot is GOOD for you, im not stupid.. but it's not to teh extreme that your getting too. If you don't like it thats fine and its your opinion but don't bash people for doing it.

Thank you Sunshy9e... It isn't the pot, it's the person.. My loser brother is a pot head..doesnt work..30 yrs old...3 kids...on and on... He is a typical sc_m bag.. I, on the other hand, am professionally employed, new house, new car, father to be in 4 months, published writer who has been enjoying the pot for 15 years. Now, In the last 3 years I have gone from 2 blunts a day to well..... I just finished my 2nd quarter bag of the year ( and probably the last for a while) I am not irresponsible. If weed is what helps people cope with their mind (and in many cases that is exactly what it does) then who is anyone else in here to knock them? Hey...everyone that takes meds (anti depressants....sleeping aides...anxiety pills....etc) raise your hand. NOW... everyone with their hand up--- How many of you think pot is soooo bad?News flash..your just like me. I smoke pot, you pop pills. Same thing. It is what we feel we need to do to maintan balance in our lifes. I would never get fukt up and care for my child... that is what a sc_m bag would do. I do not drive impaired.. loosers do that. So, what is so wrong with having a puff or two outside when you need to if it helps to get you to sleep or to relax when you're alone for the evening? Not saying it is the best way to handle stress.. but it works for some of us. Not trying to start drama, but i thought i'd put my thoughts out there. People have been smokin' for hundreds of years. Hemp helped drive the economy of this country for many years. Everyone is ent_tled to their opinion, and I respect that. But all this "leave him", "give him the choice- baby or weed" c___p is quite harsh. Can you compromise? Maybe he smokes pot because it makes makes him the great guy that you know and love. Maybe it isn't all about you...

For the record, I am not saying that pot and babie mix... just that there can be a time and place for everything. Respect each other for who they are. No offense was meant to anyone here at all.

i can only imagine what itz like to be in your shoes. i think that you guys should now be thinking whatz best for the baby and how his habbits would effect the baby's health. you hsould talk to him, try not to get angry just be neutral, ask him how important is this baby to him and go from there. hope things will work outsoon!!

my boyfriend and i did alot of things we shouldnt before i got preg. as soon as i found out i was preg i quit everything but my boyfriend took a long time to quit all his drug habits. we fought alot about it and eventually he quit and now he realizes just how pointless all the drugs and stuff were. Honestly i dont know exactly what i said to make him quit but he realizes that the baby is coming and he needs to grow up. i hope everything works out for you. good luck.

CALL THE COP. I GUESS IT IS ILLIGAL HERE?

When my hubby was a kid in college he did it. These are kids stuff. Why a grown man will do this? By the way we were in India and smoking pot is not illegal there. He is now 34 and working in a big soft wear company in USA as a lead networking manager. He looks as a nerd and thinks smoking pot is child’s play.

Sunshyne do you not realize what example he is teaching your children ? That it is okay to do it, then when he turns 12 or younger than it is okay to get high and drive down the road and kill someone in an automoblie accident ? Or maybe get arrested for using it ? what is he gonna say... " my daddy does it and says it is okay " ! PLEASE ! i cant believe this child is gona grow up in a house hold like this and be one of our children of the future...so sad.

for me it's not the pot. It's lying about the pot. He does it behind my back. He makes up stories about where he's going, who he's with--and I blame the pot now him. I blame the friends he's with not him. If he was honest about it it wouldn't be such a big deal. He promised me he wouldn't ever do it again. Today I was packing, we just bought our first house, and I found a little tiny ziploc bag with batman sign on it. It just feels awful to be lied to by someone you love and trust.

this is not in response to the original poster....::laughs:: i can see that was a while ago... i've been reading a lot of the posts and responses here on this board and have to say i'm a bit confused ::laughs:: i don't understand....well, first off i don't understand where some of you get your facts that you've thrown out (mind you, this is not applicable soley to this thread....it's more of a general statement, but this is the thread i chose to respond to :p). i've been married a little less than a year to an absolutely AMAZING man. 31, college educated, well-read, intelligent beyond anything (i could go on and on ::laughs:: i'll spare all of you though)...anyways...he first smoked pot a little over two years ago and has done it since. it's not a daily thing, it's not a "i have to have pot" thing.....it's a responsible, "i'm going to smoke a bowl before i go play a show" or "before i go to this concert" or "before we go dancing" or "i've had a really rough day....i'm going to go visit mr peabody" (pet name for one of the instruments we use :p.) i myself just started smoking pot a little before we got married, and discontinued it when i found out i was pregnant (for those of you who are curious, i'm 24, very well educated, well read, responsible, etc etc....working on getting a book published so kudos to the writer who already is). not because i was worried about the baby (more on this later) but because my body rejects it when i try to smoke (i figure your body knows what is best for you...if it gets nauseous at the smell...then don't smoke :p). no, i don't do any other drugs. no, i don't drink. no, i'm not irresponsible. when we got married, we researched together (both online and through doctors we know as friends, midwives, etc) the effects of pot on an unborn child. NOTHING has been proven. 4 out of the 7 midwives i spoke to has even stated that if they are familliar with the person enough to be comfortable with them, they even suggest smoking a joint when you have morning sickness to overcome it. i've read stories online where women have done just that and continued on to have healthy babies with no side effects. obviously this is not the case with everyone, and i understand. my husband still smokes occasionaly, it doesn't bother me in the least (but that's just ME. i'm not trying to make others feel the same...just explaining my reasonings for my feelings).. when he smokes, he does not become "lazy husband" he does not vegitate. he does not act like an idiot....it enhances his senses (as it did mine) and we went about dong the things we were going to be doing anyways....albeit in a slightly better mood. to the poster who posted about the prozac, etc...kudos to you. my mother suffers from severe depression and has chosen to be on western medicine pills for that....which works for a bit, but then her body gets used to it and you have to up the dosage, etc etc. i have personally witnessed the aftermath of these pills, and i will *never* follow this suit. keep in mind though that this is my PERSONAL experience and by no means should relate to everyone. one doctor i know said "the only harmful side effects of marijuana on the human body that are known thus far is that the heat from a joint has (now here is where i may misquote so i apologise ::laughs) 3 times (i want to say it was either 3 or 5) the amount of harmful ash, etc that gets into your lungs when smoked from a joint" problem solved in that my husband and i vaporize our "lasagna" as we like to call it....thus cancelling out the harmful heat side effects. pot affects each person differently, so i want to stress again that i am not saying my comment here as a blanket statement...simply that it does not seem to effect my husband to the point where he would be negligible....now,...if i were married to a guy who, when he smoked, would turn into a beavis and b___thead or a jay and silent bob type of character....well....i'm sure i would feel differently and this post would be a bit different. namaste! i wish you all the best of luck with starting your new families....it's SO EXCITING (albeit a bit painful and nerve wrecking ::laughs::)

My DP smokes pot, but I can't fault him too much because it helps control muscle spasms in his legs ( he is paraplegic). Unfortunately, it also gets him high and he says the stupidest things and acts really inconsiderate. Our general policy is for him NOT to do it around me unless he wants to get into a fight because of his stupid att_tude when he's high. I used to bug him about it a lot, but I've given up. He only smokes in the evening, so his legs won't keep him up all night. When the baby comes, he's better not be high when he has to help me with night feedings or I'l be PISSED, though! As for pot use druing preg, one of my friends recently delivered a healthy 8lb girl after smoking on and off during her preg. Personally, I don't smoke pot. I don't really like it anyway.

This whole topic just makes me wanna puke. I have never done any drug, never smoked even a cigarette.... Anyway, my brother is addicted to it and is always in trouble because of it. It causes him to not think, and make stupid decisions, and say stupid stuff. The problem is... when you are high, you don't think you are being stupid or irresponsible. Even if you have never been caught... chances are, eventually you will be... you will go to jail, be fine, etc.... do you want to explain to you child that you had to be punished for just doing "recreational activities". I swear....... freakin idiots!

another thought... So your high, and the baby is your responsibility while your partner is grocery shopping, or whatever.... okay, well the baby is running a fever, crying, ect... u cant get anyone on the phone... so you decided to treat the baby yourself... you give him/ her tylenol... okay, no biggie... right? Well, d__n, you cant understand the dosing intructions, so u guess... well lookie here... baby is over dosed now.... or even under dosed.... partner comes back... baby still sick.. and u dont remember giving the baby anything... wife gives baby more.... see what im saying. THIS HAPPENED to my brother and his wife... needless to say... my brother went to jail again (not for that) and his wife divorced him (FINALLY) and she has the baby (we all get to see him... but my brother does not... b/c the judge ruled that he is an un-fit father, and a hazard to himself and anyone around him!)

well, smoking weed is one of the lesser evils itleast. As long as he can maintain a job, be productive and loving father, just be patient. You can still keep it out of the house, and he doesn't have to smoke around the baby. If he has built a tolerance, smoking shouldn't deter him from feeding or holding, or doing any other necessary duties. Unless he can't maintain. I am not a smoker, but my dh smokes, and it does bother me sometimes but its out of the house and he doesn't do it around me. He also has a good job and does really well in life regardless.