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It has been quite a week! I am 47 and my ex is 39. I ended our short relationship on Monday as we wanted very different futures but on Thursday I received a text message to say she was pregnant and it would be unethical to tell me. We have since talked and corresponded and she has advised that whilst practical she is not strong enough to go through a termination. We talked when we first met and I said that my parenting days were over and she confirmed that she was taking contraceptive so we had a s_xual relationship. The last time we met at New Year appears to be the time of conception and complications with medication may have resulted in no protection. Sadly if I had known I would have taken additional precautions but we are where we are.
I have been told that as she knows that I would not want another child she says that as she cannot terminate this is her responsibility and that she needs nothing from me and that I can walk away if I want. She has also said that she may refuse any support I offer. Having been brought up by her mother and only introduced to her father many years later she does not want that for any child or me. We have also talked and know that our wishes are directly opposed but also I have said that I know how she feels and would not put pressure on her to terminate.
I know my legal obligations and the fact that she has said she would not ask for me to be involved and as you can imagine "the right thing to do" is also in my mind. We have both talked about not wanting to look each other in the eye in future and seeing that pain and sadness that is there. It is important that she does what is right for her but she is also asking me to do what is right for me which will leave her alone. She is now wishing she had not told me and has said she will not contact me again unless I contact her.
I would appreciate thoughts based on our conversations and points of view. I am already telling myself that despite wanting to just walk away I must do something but I know that I will be unhappy.
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