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I totally understand where your coming from. My advice to you is, if you want to be with her and truely love her, then let her be. I can only tell you that I chose to ask the questions, tried to communicate, tried to be supportive, etc. All that got me was furthur from her. This has been the worst pain I have ever felt in my life and I wish I had LISTENED from the start. I understand that being treated like c___p isn't what we want, but she may not completely realize what she's doing. If she asks to have space, give it to her. If she wants to talk, let her do the talking first. DON'T call her. DON'T ask questions about her feelings for you. Don't do anything except for YOU and your child (and the one to be). You need to worry about you right now and your kid(s). You will just drive her furthur away if you continue down the road your on. I know, considering where I'm at with my fiance. I still haven't heard from her and I may never hear from her again in a romatic way. I know it's hard and it sucks, but if want any hope, please LISTEN to what I'm saying. I can only hope that my fiance will come around, but my situation is so far along that I've been preparing for her to never come back. Hang in there, give her the space and time to miss you and see what happens. Good luck and I hope things turn for the best for you. Keep us posted.

hi thanks for your advice but it doesnt matter now as she has just told me she doesnt love me anymore with no reason given so thats it for me thanks again and good luck with your future

toester, she may have said all that to you for now but it might change. I'm not saying that you should wait around for her but it's true that she might be very hormonal now and will get over it later in the pregnancy or after she has the baby. She might also be scared at seeing the side of you when you were drunk and broke the window. I know you said you didn't mean to but I'm sure that's probably in the back of her head. I think you should give her all the space she needs and if it works out that's great. If you can support her thru the pregnancy and focus on her health and the baby only and not pressure her on the relationship she might come around. I have two children and I was very hormonal and couldn't stand their fathers when I was pregnant but that all changed after I had the baby. Good luck!

thank you for your advice sa__sychick im sure your prolly right as her other children are from two relationships and her father told me she was like this with them whilst she was pregnant so i know its not my fault and i understand its not hers either,she has recently told me she didnt mean what she said,she just doesnt know how she feels about anything at the moment,i guess its just hard understanding as im male and will never understand fully what shes going through,things are better im not home yet just giving her her space we still see each other every day and we are looking at goin away for some us time so hopefully all will be well,will keep you posted and im very grateful i found this site as it has helped getting advice from others male and female from similar experiences

I wish I had someone like you! I have a boyfriend who, when we found out we were pregnant, has not been the same. We used to kiss, cuddle, etc. It's horrible! I feel like I'm a disease to him ever since we found out; so I would say give her space and realize that you are someone very special. I can only wish my boyfriend acted like a fraction of what you do--so keep your head up and realize that you have done everything you can--it rests on her now.

toester, that's good news that things are getting somewhat better. Some women are very hormonal during pregnancy and the mood swings can be unbearable at times. It's even confusing for us women because most of us don't want to act so mean, distant or depressed but we truly loose control of our emotions and were all over the place (at least I was). You do sound like a great guy and kudos to you for sticking around during this difficult time when she probably needs you the most. Even though it's not easy you’re doing it and whether it works out or not in the end you'll at least know you gave it your all for her and your child. Quigs227, I feel for you. I've been in your situation and it sucks. Maybe he's just scared of becoming a father and he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions and unfortunately he's taking it out on you. I hope it works itself out and he treats you as you deserve to be treated. When is your baby due?

Hi Sa__sychick, how are you? I'm due August 26th, what about you? It was really hard at first. :) Thanks for your compa__sion, what did you do to make it better? I am not a very needy person by any means, but I have been during my pregnancy. I just want someone there, it's hard to feel alone. He is getting slowly better--it's really hard though when we're almost going to have the baby and you don't have someone by your side 100%. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I hope you're doing well.

hi all,really struggling to cope at the moment not sure how much more or longer i can deal with this, im tryin my hardest but everything keeps changing on a day to day basis one day she seems fine another she not.im starting to doubt if she even wants things to get better while im hangin in limbo she just living her life as normal, i just cant believe after everything weve been through she cant even tell me she loves me hormones or not i just cant accept that she just woke up one morning and thought, i dont know if i love him anymore,this is killing me and im scared that this is it,i want to wait for her and give her time,but the situation im going to be in if it doesnt work out wont allow me to wait much longer,i just dont know what to do anymore :(

Quiggs227, I'm not pregnant now, I had my son almost a year ago (his birthday is July 25th.....in just two days!!). You asked what I did to make it better. Well I knew I couldn't change my boyfriends behavior even though I tried. He really did hurtful things to me while I was pregnant such as staying out and partying with the guys until 3:00 or 4:00am, leaving me alone to spend my birthday by myself because again he was out drinking with the guys, I caught him and a female that of course he said was only a "friend" texting each other and of course I was livid. We fought constantly and at the beginning of my pregnancy he said some very mean and hurtful things about me and our child that I was carrying that I’ll never forget. Later in the pregnancy he didn't have an interest in having s_x and I already felt so unattractive being pregnant that it hurt my self esteem. I broke up with him later in my pregnancy and he got so mad that I wouldn't take his calls or answer the door that he spit gum on my car and broke one of my windshield wipers. These are some examples of what our relationship was like and believe me it was horrible. I knew I was extra moody but he became the biggest a__s hole ever. I cried a lot and wondered how I got myself into such a screwed up situation but whenever I went to the doctors or felt my son kicking inside me I knew that their was a purpose to all this madness. I don't think that I copped with it very well but I did what I had to do and kept my head up, went to work everyday, focused on me and the baby first and put him last. It's still a screwed up situation and I hope you don't have it as bad as I did. Well you only have a month to go so hopefully once the baby comes you'll have much happier times. I'm sure I didn't help that much but when it all comes down to it you and your child are number one and for your man, he can get in where he fits in (if he does). Good luck to you. Keep us posted.

toester, I'm sorry you’re still having such a rough time. Just know that you’re doing all you can and being as supportive as possible so the rest lies in her hands.

Toester, Hi ~ do you want some rough & tough advice? You need to man-up and realize that you teach people how to treat you. You've been MORE than supportive and have been extremely understanding toward her and her come & go feelings. First off, why in god's name would you 'put off marriage' to try for a baby? That makes no sense. (One of you had commitment issues to decide that, obviously.) And secondly, why are you LETTING her treat you this way? You sound like a GREAT guy and she should be over the moon to have you, yet you're telling her that it's only HER feelings that matter and that she can call ALL the shots in both your life and hers. Look, I'm 9 months pregnant and I do understand hormones, but it's never a license to mistreat the person you love or leave them hanging and doubting everything in their lives, just because you know you can. You need to start setting some rules of your own and much like Saddad said, you may just have to step back and give some space for now. She needs to realize that she's got a wonderful guy... and let her see what it's like when you're not at her beck and call. Good luck and please keep us updated. :-)

hi all been a while i know,last few months been a real struggle not sorted things out,turned out there another male in her life who she has moved in with her(in the space of 4 weeks!!!) could say alot of nasty things about her but hey not worth it now thankyou all for your advice hope your all resolving any issues you may have,better than mine turned out