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hi...i just need advice from a guy on my boyfriend. im 15 n im a little over 4 months pregnant. its kind of a long story, but basically...my boyfriend cant seem to make up his mind. he says hes gonna back me up on it no matter what, but when we talk about the pregnancy, he cant seem to actually talk to me. he talks to my sister about it but not me. all he has to say is "whatever you choose, i'll be here." then he says he wants to have the baby, but the next 10 minutes, hes sayin he doesnt know..cause hes not ready and his dad is gonna kill him. (he hasnt exactly told his parents yet) i understand that hes not ready. theres just some times where it seems like he doesnt realize that's it's not a joke, he thinks it's all a game or something. how can i talk to him about it and get his real opinion? i know it's "difficult" for guys at this age to let that kind of stuff out, but i need his support some way. my sister gives me support and says how she thinks he feels but i dont wanna hear it from her. i feel better if i hear it from him. any advice?
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I'm not a guy, but I've had a lot more years of figuring out guys than you have. I think his age is probably a factor. You've accepted the baby as a reality, because you can feel the changes in your body. Your boyfriend, though, probably can't see anything different yet, so the baby seems like something far off in the future. When you really start showing, he'll realize that it's all for real. When he says that whatever you choose, he'll be there, does he realize that it's getting kind of late in your pregnancy for an abortion? I mean, does he realize you've pretty much chosen by not doing anything yet? After the first trimester, the cost and risks of an abortion rise dramatically. You'll be feeling the baby move soon, too, if you aren't already. I think your boyfriend might be hoping you'll make a decision and he won't have to, and I think you might be hoping he'll do the same. What have your parents said about the situation? You might be able to use their opinion on what you should do as a way to start a conversation about the future with your boyfriend.
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He has told me that he "can't" choose. He says it's too hard and i can't put that on him. We've talked about abortion or keeping it, and he has factors on both sides of why he would wanna do each one. My parents don't wanna have anything to do with my decision, they say that i got myself into it so i need to figure it out on my own. I'm pretty much on my own with it, well with some help from my sister and best friend. Other than that, there's really no one else. There's reasons on both sides for me as well, I just didn't think it would be so hard to decide. He's not helping at all, which fustrates me even more.
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If you're already 4 months, I'd say, you've made your decision. At this point, you can even tell if you're having a boy or a girl. So - it's a bit late for abortion. My understanding of abortion is that it's illegal after 20 weeks, anyway. So - there's nothing left to decide. That baby's gonna grow and be born. Now, the choice is, do you keep it, or do you put it up for adoption?
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