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Hi Jeff, I am sorry i havent actually asked him yet because he walked out on us 2 weeks ago saying there is no spark or intimacy, its quite a story but when the going gets tough he always gets going, its a pattern... anyhow regarding ur situation i wish it didnt have to be like that for you, it comes down to the chic being a cow cause i allow pat here anytime he likes to see our daughter, he'd come everyday if he could, like he is next coming fri nite and saturday and i wish u were in the position to have that freedom with that cow who has made ur life a misery, he may have not been working at the time he went to court regarding his kids so therefore he got legal aid, i will ask him though and im sorry i havent yet as u can well imagine its been the last thing on my mind, he's here fri nite to visit, today is wed so i will ask him then and get back to you.. in the meantime be good to ur current partner as im sure u are and life is very short jeff and know that this chic will get hers back and i dont doubt it may be her current boyfriend who hurts her in no time at all, i doubt he is gonna stick around and help her for long with a baby when its not his, they are hard work and regarding the overnite stays b___st fed or not remember u are dealing with a baby and my partner or ex now isnt having her overnite, they are too little jeff and its too overwhelming at this age for a baby but again he is welcome anytime here u know and i spoke to the health nurse and she said courts are very slow with a baby like u cant just have weekend access on a fortnitely basis, its a slow process, you should be able to see her though and again i will ask him when i see him... til next time, ally

Hi ally, thanks for the reply, im so sorry to hear about ur situation. I do not need you to ask him anymore, but thankyou anyway. Things were getting a little on track. My current GF contacted the Ex for me and they were talking fine (i cant because of work, and im a bumbling mess when it comes to talking to her! i get so angry) Anyway we were working out what was to happen. and 2 days later out of the blue she has sent abusive messages to my gf callin her a "whore" and to f off so "our family" can get back together and all this other out there stuff. So i have come to a very sad decision for me, but it is the best i can think of. I do not want our little girl growing up around the fights, so at this point in time i am going to not see her. We are getting a court ordered agreement stating she makes all the decisions, and the baby lives with her, but she is not to contact me or my family except thru email, and that i get unsupervised visitations after she turns 3. I didnt want to chose this but i think it be best for the baby if she is not around us fighting, and we cant NOT fight. She just treats everyone like dirt and i cant let her walk all over people i care about like that. i am setting up a trust fund for my daughter and i will be sending her letters and cards etc. But for now, i feel this is the best thing we can do,. And hopefully it wont be too long before she shapes up and realises she has to mature! Thankyou all for your advice and support, i will update if anything else happens, which im sure it wil because we have to get the court order sent out to sign. And i wouldnt be surprised if she tries to change conditions between now n then!

Jeff, you sound like a wonderful guy. Im so sorry it has all come to this...I hope that for your little girl's sake, her mommy shapes up and realizes what an excellent daddy you can be! And blessings to your and your sweet girlfriend. I hope it works out for the both of you!

you do sound wonderful, nd im also sorry it has come to this! im sure a day wont go by that u wont thinka bout ur daughter, why is it the BITCHES that get the nice guy? although your new girlfriend sounds wonderful also. i wish you two the best of luck in the future

Well.. quick update... the ex HAS changed the conditions before it was made official.. she refuses to sign, she disagrees with ALL my orders and keeps asking me to go to mediation with her to work on our "realtionship" as she really thinks we could get back together and make a good go of it... there is no chance watsoever of this happening. I am in love with the girl i am with and have no feelings for my ex whatsoever (apart from extrememe frustration now) she has sent more abusive msgs to my girl but denies them face to face. i will let you know what happens when it happens.thanks for all the kind words and advice.

hey jeff its been alsmot 2 months are u still around? hows things going?

Hi stacy, thanks for asking. not alot has changed, she has agreed to most of the orders now, but is refusing to sign as she doesnt agree to me having unsupervised visits when she turns 3. the lawyers have said i could take her to court and have unsupervised visits as of now, but i dont want to go through the ourts an and i thought it would make her more comfortable if she or her mother were there while she is so young. I still have not seen a photo, and my decision about not seeing her yet has stuck, as i am not doing anything until all those orders are signed and all the boundaries are set. My ex is still sending myself and my current partner abusive emails etc, and the last one i got said that i had to "pull ur finger out of ur arse" and that she wasnt going to sign anything until i get professional family portraits done with her and the baby!!! which i feel is a totally rediculous request! anyway, thats about all. the orders have been floating around for a good 2-3 months now and so has the abuse. thanks for checking in.

WOW!! Jeff this ex of yours sounds like a complete psycho!! i dont know why all the total b___hes get all the good guys like you and hurt them! i feel for you and what you must be going through!! Please let us know when there is any prgression! :)

Jeff, i think that either your new girlfriend is also posting on this site, OR theres someone in the exact same circ_mstance as you!! they are postin in the miscarriage and loss thread. "heart is breaking feel like a selfish b___h"

Well.. honestly... thats what you get for getting a 16/17 year old pregnant. Aren't there laws where they have to be 18? if you are over 18.. and your 21.. So, you mess with a youngin and you get the c___p that comes with it.

To honestly, Actually she was 17 and i was 19 turned 20 a couple of months later. She was 18 when the baby was born. and i turned 21 a couple of months after it as born. And i am in australia. Here the legal age is 16. So before you jump to those nasty conclusions, make sure you know all the facts. :) To geri you are right it does sound exactly the same, It could very well be and i will ask my better half when she gets home tonight. Kiana is not her name however it could be an alias. As for an update with progress, i got an email today saying she absolutely refuses to me having unsupervised visits EVER as she feels the baby is not safe with me, and i have to go to court cos she HAS applied for the restraining order before for no reason, but in the courts eyes that looks bad. so we will see how things go. its all getting very trying. thanks everyone for checking up.

Hey..... your the one that typed the exact words "She was pregnant and had the baby at 17" ON the post Oct. 19th, 3:28___ So, who's BSing?? you are pregnant for 9 months, so she would have JUST been pa__sed 16 by a couple months. ANYHOW... regardless... what I was saying is SHE IS YOUNG!! So, you mess with a youngin and you get the c___p that comes with it!!!! Unfortunately it may take a few years for her to grow up before you all can be civil!!

Honestly: i never accused u of B'sing. Sorry that i made a mistake in my typing. She was pregnant at 17. i turned 20 2 months after our "encounter" and she turned 18 one month BEFORE the baby was born. she went to my local pub to harra__s me on her 18th bday... 8 months pregnant! I am 21 now. the baby was born start of july. Sorry that i wrote it wrong, was a tad emotional and not thinking as i had alot to write. I know that wat i did was stupid. i admitted that. you didnt have to come on here to say that too me. oh well. havnt got time for people like you. Grow up this is a place where people come for support and advice not judgement. To Gerri, I asked my Gf about the other post, and it is in fact her. Thankyou very much for pointing that out to me, as now i have a greater understanding of how she is feeling about it all and what she is going through. And i can help her more :))