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OMG! KIM! my boyfriend used to do the SAME EXACT THING! Im 8 months now and I KNOW how you feel girl. Except mine just goes out and drinks all night, he doesnt smoke anything but he DOES sell stuff and he has me worried all night until I see him pull in the drive way safely. I would be crying also and telling him I needed him here with me and I worry about him when he satys out all night. He told me hes not staying up my a__s and hed leave and NOT come home. Id call his cell and he'd hang up on me. Then hed come home the next day wanting to have s_x and I felt guilty for makin him so mad id do it. Trust me. Worry about you and your baby. It is hard, especially when you love your boyfriend as much as I do mine..wich is a lot. we have been together for 4 years and we have a 3 year old lil girl. He also gets in these moods where he tells me hes sorry hes just selfish sometimes and doesnt want to stay home because its boring here. I cant go out and party right now, thats the problem. Hes very excited about the baby he cant wait he brags about his new daughter to everyone BUT he still acts as if his friends are more important sometimes. Hes calmed down a lot though. Also, when my feelings would get hurt and id cry in front of him hed tell me to stop cuz i was being immature and acting like a baby or hed ask me what I was whining about now. And it is VERY hurtful, and im home 24/7 with my lil girl but thats ok because I see it as if he wants to put his friends in front of everything else, HES the one missing out on his other daughter and this pregnancy, not me. So be strong and hang in there. Id literaly throw a gla__s and shatter it when he said "im goin out bye" id be so p__sed. Now im just like OK bye. And ill have my best friend come stay with me for the night. So when he leaves, have someone close to you, a friend, family member anyone, come over, go out rent some movies, and have a girls night at home. Relax and dont get to stressed. I know what yor going through and it IS rough and it hurts a lot sometimes but you cant tie him up like id like to do with mine. So be the bigger person, tell him he either chooses the life he made growing inside you, or his crack, because he cant have both. Tell him you are chosing this little life you made together, and he needs to do the same but tell him to choose whatever makes him the happiest because no matter what he chooses you know you will always have something special that he either can, or can not have. Make him feel guilty. thats what i did and it seemed to work.

OMG... I can not believe what I have just read from HEATHER. Do you girls not understand you do not have to settle for a man who stays out and partys and/or does drugs and doesn't stay home and take care of their responsiblilities. You can have happy marriage some day with men who work hard and share all responsipility with taking care of the child/children and your homes. Families go to the beach together, church together, have dinners together, walk in the park together, go to the circus and the movies. One parent doesn't sit home 24/7 while the other parties all the time or one parent doesn't cry all the time. What type of environment is this for your child/children? What I see in Heather is a YOUNG girl without any SELF CONFIDENCE or love for herself. KIM this is not the solution. lisa_guess@hotmail.com

I was raised in a very wonderful home/family environment lisa when I was growing up, and we never took walks in the park, held hands going down the street singing mr.rogers with big smiles on our faces. Not every family is the same. Yours may be that "perfect" family in the neighborhood but people see different sides when it comes to how a family should be. I wasnt giving her a solution, I was explaining how I had went through the same thing shes describing I was not telling her WHAT to do in the situation. I told her what i personaly did. Like I said hes calmed down a lot and its been great these past few months. We go to the zoo and theme parks with my other daughter and thats family time. We go out to eat but I also make big meals so we can rent movies and stay home and watch them together. I am young, yes. I have a lot of self confidence in myself. I know Im a strong willed person, I dont think Im ugly, I think I could get a really "perfect" guy if i really wanted to. But seeing that I have been with the same man for 4 years at my age, is pretty good concidering half the teen populaation my age would just be screwing around. I was 15 when we got together and he was only the 2nd person I have had s_x with so I think highly of myself for that to. Hes the only person in 4 years I have had s_x with also. So seeing as Im 19 years old and have only slept with 2 people, him and one other person(one time) I have high pride in knowing this about myself. Self confidence is not something I lack. And love for myself? Plenty. I have more love for my kids and my mother than anything in this world but I love myself for who I am and the GOOD decisions i have made concidering I have done everything I casn to correct the wrong decisions. So Im not lacking Love for myself either. Id appreciate it if you wouldnt tell everyone what I lack for myself unless you are a licensed Psychiatrist and have talked to me before. Thank you.

HEATHER.... I want to explain first I was only responding to the words you wrote in your first letter, that letter made you sound as I describe, However I am 40 years old, I am A Registered Nurse and I work in Mental Health. I am a recovering crack addict and recovering alcoholic. I was giving advice as I have been the addict, I am licensed, and I have had many, many experiences. I did mean to imply in any way you were a bad person, as I said I was only responding to your words. I don't think you realize an addict only gets worse and worse and hurts all those that love him/her, I know because I hurt everyone I love time and time again until I became a TRUE recoverying addict. I am happy you were from a nice family, mine wasn't so great but now it is and I take my Granchildren to the park and always hold their hands and I always kiss my grown children (And I have always hated Mr. Rogers). I only responded to your own words and you became defensive. These message boards are here for others opinions and experiences. I always leave my personal e-mail for more personal responses and I have received several, some asking for further advice and some just venting their situation. I did not mean to upset you with my words and I wish the best of luck. lisa_guess@hotmail.com

I'm married now and 17 weeks. Once I lived with a BF who I wished I had a child with. He used to leave me during the night, as his friends picked him up. He wasn't on drugs for sure, but smoked oftenly and drank socially.I loved him so so so much, that I just kept resisting. I wanted to kill myself. It was terrible. He was the love of my life because he had his good things too. I think that I made myself too available for him, because he was so attractive, tall, and he was good to me too in other ways. I wanted to marry him, but he used to say he wasn't ready. this is all about stages in life,a nd they vary according to which paths we take, I think. I finally made my move out of it. After a year, married my husband. I think you should move out, there is no way to make him change.

What a horrible situation. I grew up with alcoholic/crack addict parents. It wasn't always that way, just got worse as time went on. It was a horrible environment. My father was downright vicious and abusive while on crack. I am 8 mos pregnant with my first child and my child will never have to know that pain. There is nothing worse. If you think you are suffering, you have no idea what it does to a child in that atmosphere. I have had a lot od issues to deal with. I am now 28 yrs old and am doing great. I have a wonderful husband and a great life. And trust me, if you stay with him and raise your child that way, one day your child will resent you for not keeping them safe and getting them out of that situation. I was more angry with my mother for letting me be exposed to it than I was with my loser father for beating me up. It is a mothers job to protect her child at all costs. He will not change and it will get worse. You cannot change those who are not willing to change themselves, you will just be the enabler making it easier for him to go further and further into the addiction. You would basically be condoning that way of life. Do you really want that for an innocent child?

Get out DUH!!! The love for your BABY should be strong enough for you to WANT to be away from a crack head. This is just the beginning- trust me I've been in a similar situation- it won't get better sweetheart (anytime soon anyways). You have to get out honey before he takes you down too, that stuff changes your entire personality and life- Soon that drug will come first and you and baby LAST. Your baby deserves a BETTER life right?

Where's your Mom? Please let her help~ She will understand. Hugs and listening helps~

To Duh...wow! the next question is what is wrong with YOU that you have nothing better to do than scan a PREGNANT website forum and run your mouth at people who are trying to get advice on their issues whatever they may be. You should consider getting a life and think about what you look like before you call someone else a LOSER. Seriously, you're just lame. Kimberly...First and foremost, reguardless of -rather he is a crackhead or not- he should be there for you -rather you are pregnant or not- not out running around with his buddies partying -rather its partying with beer or crack- You deserve someone who wants to hang ourt or party with YOU. Secondly, I was married for three years, and the piece of c___p hid it from me the whole time. I found his crack pipe while I was throwing his stuff out after I got him out of my life. Your boyfriend IS addicted, crack is a hardcore drug it isn't one of those you can play around with. What you should do is stay away from him. The more you try to work it out or talk about it the more you hurt yourself, especially if you still love him. As long as you still love him, the more likely you will be to believe his lies and take him back. Take care of you and your baby, if not for yourself then for your baby. One, you don't want your child to grow up watching its father and two, you don't want your child to grow up and be like its father. Good luck.

I may be a soon to be father, so heres my two cents. Leave, im sure you can find a person that will love you for you and your soon to be beautilful child. Please do not be around any drugs, thats the last thing you want. Please.

I still am going through the same thing with my boyfriend...just cant seem to break loose. I'm not looking for advice or looking to be judge...i just feel what this young lady is going through and wish I could leave...but I can't..not right now.

I use to date a coke head and he treated me the same way. The one thing I learned is that people don't change no matter how much you want them to (druggies atleast). They don't care about you or anyone else except for themselves and the drugs they do. Your relationship might get worse, much much worse if you don't get out of while you still can. A child should never be brought up in a situation like that. Your a woman, stand up for what you want and if he isn't willing to change or even comprimise, get rid of him.

i think your head is just cracked!!!

hi girlfriend . in the very situation as u but he is now on remand in prison 4 beating me up again over a week ago awaiting a trail . he beat me up badly b4 last november in front of my 7 years old son near a police station . went 2 court cos of it . they put him on 2 years probation . if he beat me up again which he did again over a week ago , he will definitely go 2 prison this time . he has broken his probation . i am nearly 12 weeks pregnant . gave me so many chances but he kept on chucking them back in my face . he also treated me like a bit a c___p . he was also was taking the pee out of me as well . the moral of this sad story is if u don't want 2 end up like me , dump him 4 good . it will only get a lot lot worse if u stay with him . trust me .i am going thru it now and it is tearing me 2 bits inside . good luck . may be god be with u and ur baby

Get out, Trust me its happened to me to the same thing except i was 8 months pregnant when i found out my boyfriend was smoking crack. Luckly i got him to stop because he had just started. But its not worth losing your baby over and if he wants to be a man and have part in his babys life then he should get help otherwise just get out and dont go back

duh was actually spot on, altho a little harsh she was being truthful.Fact is she was sleeping with a druggy.