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hi, girls!! wow, i haven't posted here in forever. not much to say really, i guess. wow, lisa, what a terrible thing to go through! we're here for you!!..... i am going to have a good friend babysit my 3 1/2 week old girl tonight or tomorrow while my dh and i go see harry potter (i'm a huge fan). i'm nervous because it'll be first time she's without me or her dad. heck, i was anxious when i left her with my husband for a couple hours. i hope she doesn't scream and be fussy the whole time. i'm excited about the movie but dreading leaving her. oh, and last night was a small nightmare. i swear she was crying and being fussy for a good 6 hours off and on, she wouldn't fall asleep until almost midnight!! she usually isn't that bad but for some reason... i'm just hoping tonight isn't a repeat.

thanks for your support lesley and shannon, would you believe he came home from the travel agents and asked me to drive him to london(only a 16 hour round trip with a two week old, after he kept me up all last night, ) what a cheek, he has left his packed bags in the living room and gone out i dont know where but thats because my parents are on their way here and will bbe here soon. hope you have a nice time at the cinima shannon

Okay, I finally got an account on piczo. If ya'll wanna see my rugrats, http://www.joedominic.piczo.com/?cr=2&rfm=y. Shannon, let me know how the movie is. I'm dying to see it. Lisa, I'm so sorry he's a jacka__s. Lisa, Lesley, Shannon, Barb, Ranya, and Mary, ya'll's babies are beautiful. I can't believe how fast they are growing.

He'll figure out soon enough what he is missing. If he is so eager to leave, tell him to find alternate means of transportation to the airport and not to let the door hit him in the a__s on the way out. I'm sorry if I'm being crude, but after everything you have gone thru, and the fact that you had his beautiful baby, he should be a hell of alot more appreciative towards you.

Lisa I'm so sorry about what you are going through! While I was catching up on the old posts I realized that you had been complaining about your husband toward the end of your pregnancy but I didn't really catch the gist of it. From getting to know you on this forum, l know you are a strong person and I'm sure you"ll be able to pull through. Have you thought about what you want to do? How you feel towards him? Thank God your parents are close by and supportive, how dare he ask you to drive him to the airport, what is wrong with men these days??? We are here for you so use us! Don't forget your baby needs you now and supposedly get affected by our moods (as does the milk apparently) so try to take care of yourself as much as possible (hope I don't sound patronizing, that's definitely not my intention)...I'm not familiar with the laws in the UK but use whatever aid the government provides as Lesley suggested, there's absolutely no shame in that! Take care xox

No there is no shame in using the government. Noone even need to know you are. You get paid into a bank account so it's not like you have to go cash a book or a giro at the post office. You have a new born baby to look aftre and really don't need this chew on. I'm glad you have your mum for support. Don't stay with your husband for money, or cos you are scared of being alone. The baby picks up on the atmosphere, even as young as she is.

Hey to everyone, hope all is well. Let me just gripe for a second. I am about to go nuts. Jaleel gets up in the wee hours of the morning wanting to play. And it's driving me crazy. No matter how much I try to keep him up in the day he's up for 5 min and back to sleep again. Last night was a nightmare my 7 yr old has an ear infection in both ears and he was up all night crying along with Jaleel. And I could not take care of both of them at one time. I felt like I was in a nightmare I just wanted to scream. My 5 year old he want to sit under me all the time b/c he's use to being the baby and it's kind of hard b/c I have Jaleel and I can't let my 5 year old be to close b/c he has a cold and he really don't understand he think that I'm being mean or something. Even when I explain to him why he can't get to close. I'm in the most craziest position right now. My 7 year old has a fever and he was given medicine by a Dr. and all he do is sit around me crying and I can't do anything for him my vehicle is down right now and it's driving me crazy. I just need to vent. I hope that I don't slip into depression or anything of that nature. I just pray to God to keep me protected. Well I hope no one else is having it as hard as I am. Good to see everyone back and well. Do anyone have any encouraging words that can make me see the brighter side of it all. I'd appreciate it alot.

Tonia, it'll get better. I promise. I especially understand where you are coming from, I've got 2 toddlers along with a newborn too. If it helps any, (of course docs differ in opinion), my pediatrician told me that infants with siblings usually build up immunity quickly. I asked him last time I saw him and he told me that if the baby hasn't gotten sick yet, he probably has built up an immunity on his own. I know how kids are, when they don't feel good... they want momma. I made my two write letters to Santa and put them into envelopes or cut out pics from the toysrus catalogue. Even when my oldest isn't feeling well, it usually helps. I'll be praying for you Tonia.

thanks again girls, im finding it so hard to come to terms with, my parents are visiting but live 5 hours away, dh is sleeping in the living room, jasmin would not settle last night, i just cried ans cried feeding her, i want the world to open up and swallow me, im so tird buut have to do everything on my own now, i cant imagine how hard its going to be, and all while dh goes away to have a life of chilling out and drinking, ii told him i hope he crys every night missing his daughter, ive got bills of 1000 pound a month and income of 400 maternity pay, hes not paying the bills anymore, oh god i cant do this alone

Lisa, if it comes to it you can do it alone. You are a strong woman who deserves better than a husband who plays with your emotions when you are emotional as it is. Just make sure your mortgage is getting paid then phone everyone else and explain that you have just broke up with your partner and your income isn't what it used to be. A lot will temp. stop payments or reduce them to an amount you can afford. A good cry is brilliant too. I love crying lol. Where do your parents live? Do you not have a close friend who can stay with you when/if your husband leaves for support. I know how hard it is to cope when you have a little one and your relationship breaks down. I surrounded myself with a lot of people and got on with it. The night times are the worst though, cos once little one is asleep you are alone. Thats why I first got the internet. Did he book ihs ticket btw? If he did when is it for? I think he is trying to call your bluff. Attention seeking. Men feel neglected when they have a baby.

Tonia I'm sure you won't slip into depression. You are fully aware of your feelings so would know if it was starting to happen, therfor seeking hepl before it gets too bad :-) I have 3 kids too. my 5 yr old gets up about 10 times before staying in bed, my 18 mpnth old refuses to sleep in her cot now. If you wait till shes asleep then take her up she wakes up and screames, waking her older brother up. It's a nightmare. I just take baby and go to bed. Leave her to tire herself out, then her dad can deal with her. He stays up all night as it is he might as well be doing something usefull lol.

Hows hings been today Lisa?

To Lisa...I know exactly how you feel but I realize that everytime I put my trust in God things always seem to be going just great he will never fail you ever. I remember b4 my baby got here I was wondering how I was going to get him clothes and pampers and everything that a baby need. Well God was on my side b/c people that I never knew gave me stuff. My baby has his own crib and tons of clothes and none of it was bought by me it was given to me. Which is a blessing to me. Just put it all in God hands and you just watch how he will bless you with whatever you need. Right now I have no help it's just me and my 3 kids and I be so tired b/c I have to get up all through the night and feed my baby and get the 2 older kids up for school in the mornings. Then get the baby ready drop the big boys off at school. It's so much that I have to do. And on top of that I'm still recovering from the c-section that I had. In the evenings I got to make sure that the older 2 kids get to eat. I have to go grocery shopping by myself well with the help from my 7 & 5 yr old. And then take the groceries up 3 flights of stairs. With st_tches still in my stomach. Oh believe me it is hard I cry sometimes but no matter what I've got to keep on pushing. But it is only through God that I'm able to move foward. I think the more that we accept these things that we are going through then we will be ok. There are other things that we could be doing just to get by the day but it is in God's will that we remain strong and push on. You will be okay, I will be okay and anyone who's going through will be okay. We just have to depend on God and not man. Things will get better b4 they get worse. I can share so many stories with you and how God delivered me from it all that it will take up this whole thread but I will just tell you to trust in the Lord and he shall see you through believe me i am a witness. You take care and set all worries behind there is no need to use your energy that way.

Thanks Lesley and JB. Things just get to ruff sometimes and I know how to get through them but sometimes you just need someone to talk to.

thankyou so much all of you, my parents are here now, thank goodness. Lesley you were right he was attention seeking, he told m yesterday, he was leaving for good, never comming back and i didnt say anything to stop him, but he kept making excuses why he hadnt bought his ticket yet, i told him if he was going perminantly andwasnt going to emotionally or finantialy support jasmin then he could go stay somewhere else untill he flew, everytime this has happened in the past ive begged him to stay, i think it shocked him thati wasnt, i was in a right state yesterday, then suddenly he said he would go for a month because his father is not well there, and then come back. my mum is p__sed off with him for leaving me with an 18 day old baby on my own and not paying the bills while hes away as he quit his job, im unsure if i really want him back but at least this month wil give jasmin and i a chance to do it alone, thankyou guys your my rock in all of this, and Tonia thankyou for your message, i have so much respect for what you do, you are such a strong person, wisjing you well, lisa

So he is going for a month? When is that? It's christmas in 34 days. Is he planning on being away over the holiday season? I'm glad you have your parents for help and support :-) At least there is someone there to talk to in person. Gawd...... 34 days till christmas! This year has flew over.