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Really the problem is you have no way of knowing if your labor is going to be long or short, i have had one baby without any pain meds and one with epidural (very big baby). Both were ok, the epidural worked well and they lowered the dose towards the end so i could feel contractions but not major pain. 39 is not old, i had my second at 38 and will be 45 when i have this one. I am going to a birthing unit where they don't have epidural this time (guess i'm either brave or nuts), If it is such a big deal i am sure you can get a c-section arranged, if you vomit from a bloody nose then childbirth may be a bit traumatic, there is a fair bit of blood, and if you are too scared or tense it makes it hard to have a natural birth, slows things down, so your ob gyn will take this into consideration and i am sure you will get your c-section, sounds like you have a REAL fear of pain/blood, and it is not just a whim.

ps, it doesn't matter how your baby is delivered, i personally want natural all the way as i like that i can get up half hour after birth and hunt for food, however my sister has pain issues and had a long and difficult birth and it took quite some time for her to do the bonding with her first and recovery was pretty slow, lots of stiches, she regrets she didn't pressure her doctor for a c-section. If you want it, remember it is your body and at 39 you are old enough to make a decision if you want a c-section. Dont let others talk you out of it if it is your choice, just as stood up for my rights to have NO intervention in my first birth.

also my neice had c-section and best girlfriend has had 3 c-sections and recovered quickly, both were up and hobbling around the next morning.

Apparently, if you ask an OB if a section is possible before you are pregnant, they send you for counseling. I'm wondering if sending me off for counseling would give an OB an excuse to discount my requests later on.

I've never heard of counceling, lol...who told you that? Some OB's do planned c-sections and some do not. I would make an appointment with the OB and be very frank about your fears. You sound like you would like a child but just hold back due to fear. He may do a planned c for you if that is what you are more comfortable with. Or he may ask you to try labor and if you feel it is too unbearable, wisk you off for a c-section. Just so you know....anytime you are in labor, they always have c-section rooms ready, so if it comes to that they are very prepared. I hate hearing horror stories. I cannot tell you how terrified I was! I was shaking and crying just thinking about it. And I ended up LOVING it. I know it is different for everyone. The one thing I DO know, is that every labor is different.............you need to speak to your OB first. Also, the hospitals usually do tours of the labor ward. Take one of tours asap. You will see how everything is run, get to ask questions, and know a lot mroe what to expect. Where I live, the rooms looked a durned Hilton hotel! hardwood floors, jacuzzi tub, lol. My fav part is that at my hospital, you get a__signed ONE nurse (except for shift change), AND...she is a__signed no other patients. It was so comforting to know I had someone at my beck and call. And they were FABULOUS! I was waited on hand and foot. And I was just on Medicaid. Not all hospitals are like that. So go see what yours is like and how it is run. You see the doc's for all of 5 minutes, lol. The nurses are your tie to the world. Seeing the hospital and talking to the OB will really help. Is there a possibility of going into labor and not making it to the hospital in time for an epi? (My biggest fear) yes...but the odds are VERY slim for first pregnancies. Epi's are wonderful things. Can they not work or only work partially? yes...very common in fact. But guess what, they can redo them! (I wish someone had told me that, it was so nice that they could just redo mine, which they had to do). An epi can literally take away all the pain if it takes well.

BTW....if getting counceling (which I think is a great idea) lets your OB discount your request...get a new OB! I was not pleased by my first doctor. I switched and loved my new OB and his nurse so much that I cried when I knew all my visits were over. You must really, really like your doctor. If they rush you, b__w off your feelings, etc.....go see someone else. My OB is happy to do planned c-sections. I just took his advice which was to wait and see how I feel. If I wanted the C, all I had to do was utter the word. Everything I ever wanted, I got. Even during the c-section....the anesthesilogist had a drug ready and hooked up to my IV. All he said was, give the word and you're out in under 3 seconds. It was nice to know that I always had the choice. ;)

e-mail me anytime if you want to talk! bcreevy@hotmail.com

I'm not sure why I should be asked to get counseling for what appears to be a very reasonable request.

Agreed...was it your OB that said it? I'd find a new one.

I'd like to talk to an OB in the Philadelphia area who would make that arrangement for me. Apparently, there are people who will do it without a fuss, but there are many OB's who send you for counseling because they think the patient "shouldn't want to do it," that the fear is not useful and that they won't do a section on demand. I have heard of one person who was told by an OB that he would do a section for her due to fear of the birth, she went ahead and became pregnant, and he didn't do it. He covered himself legally with some excuse, and she had to have a normal and very traumatic labor. Apparently, it's a control thing with some of these folks, I guess.

He's at a business event in FL this week--should be home on Tuesday. He wants to discuss my thoughts on this further. I hope I can get my head together by then! :)

Well....just be honest with him. All I can tell you is if the only reason that holds you back is fear of pain...it will ost likely be a thousand times better than what you imagine. Find a great OB that you trust. I really miss mine he was so good, lol. Ive never heard of an OB promising one thing and than purposely not doing it. No OB can promise anything set in stone. There are way too many variables. You just need to remember how many women give birth on a daily basis. Sure, there is going to be discomfort and pain. But it is not an "OMG I am dieing pain." Personally, the absolute worse thing outof all of it was the nauseea in the first trimester.

P.S. I posted up a video of Mason...maybe this will get you in the mood. ;) http://media.putfile.com/3-months-25

I am sorry but I don't think you should have children. Everyone knows it painful, everyone knows it messes up your body and everyone knows that it is the hardest job in the world, being a parent. The difference between everyone and you is that we want to expeirnce all of those things so that we can expeience being parents. We go through the pain so that we can bring another human being into the world that is a part of us, to love it, educate it and nurture it. All of that other stuff shouldn't be a deal breaker when deciding if you want to have a child. The deciding factors should be if you are willing to give up your 'single' life. Having a child binds you to someone for the rest of your life, more than your marriage could, EVER. You have to be willing to put someone elses well being before yours. You have to be ready to try to give this human being everthing good that you have to offer the world...all the time. It has nothing to do with pain. If that is your biggest dilemma, I seriously advise you to tell Tony that it isn't ever going to happen. Thats just my oppinion, take it for what its worth.

How can you tell someone not to have a child? She ahs a very valid reason for being afraid. I was not as phobic about it, ut I was also very scared. Never once did I WANT to feel the pain as part of being a parent. maybe that is why some go for the epidural where as others go for natural. To each their own. But I don't think it is right to tell someone they shouldn't have a child because they have a huge fear of pain.

Laurac's observations have been made by other people. I am trying to be open to all comments whenever possible. It's difficult because there are so many different opinions and comments, and he is actually reviewing our prior decisions. I am just trying to think calmly, that's all. I value your opinions and thank you for your consideration.