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KP - Are you talking about Ortho Evra?

Here's a final update. I went to see a gynocologist on Friday. I am now 10 weeks along and after 2 ultrasounds at 8 weeks and 9 weeks with no fetus or heartbeat or yolk sac, they gyno confirmed that I had a missed miscarriage, where the embryo just stopped forming even though my HCG levels were going up and my body didn't expel the tissue. I took misprostol (a labour/contraction inducing drug) over the weekend to get rid of the tissue but it didn't really work but 4 days later. I was afraid there would be lots of cramping but there wasn't. I started bleeding 4 days later. I went to see the doctor again today and luckily my body should be able to get rid of all the tissue on it's own and I won't need a D & C. I do recommend this non invasive way to get through a miscarriage without a D & C if you can. As soon as I get a normal period we will start right away for another baby. This has been a very hard time, but I've come to accept the miscarriage and that this just wasn't right. I'm ready to try again as soon as my body is willing to. My husband never felt the loss, I guess since it didn't happen to his body and on the ultrasound he never saw a fetus or a heartbeat, he never got attached. That has angered me greatly as he's trying to be supportive but he was never sad about the loss. He just said, it will be fine, we'll try again soon just as long as your well and healthy. It was devastating for me, especially since I knew for 2 weeks that the baby had died and my body wouldn't let go. Now that my body is letting go I can finally get closure. Have others had husbands who didn't really understand or grieve? I know he loves me to death and wants a baby but to him it really wasn't that big of a deal. I really don't get it.

Cristina, yes.

Elaine - it's so hard for husbands to understand... They don't have the sore b___sts and the feeling of being pregnant - and then the feelings of carrying something that isn't viable. They don't have the emotional feeling of - "I'm carrying this wonderful little baby that isn't living anymore" - and if he didn't see the baby and the heartbeat - it's not something he can grasp as real. I think it is tough on husbands because they don't know what to feel. They know you are hurting and they know that there is a loss, but it was never something "tangible" that they could say was a baby. Don't be hard on him.. I too have a husband that isn't a very emotional person - but he knew I was hurting, but couldn't grasp the whole situation. I posted awhile ago, going through everything that everyone is experiencing -(No heartbeat and D&C in February w/2nd child) and yes, my husband was compa__sionate about what happened but just didn't get as emotional as I felt that I needed him to be. In your husbands mind, he's thinking, we'll just try again! And in your mind you are still grieving over the loss... Please don't be angry with your husband... it only makes things worse. Be open with him and your feelings, but understand that even though you want him to feel what you went through... he just doesn't - and probably won't as much as you would like him too! I'll keep you in my thoughts and always remember - it's OK to go through emotional states right now... thats what you need to be doing!

KP - I am the type of person that spends hours doing research when there is a topic of interest to me. It caught my attention when you mentioned that the patch could be blamed for miscarriages since I was on the patch before my loss. But after extensive research, I could not find anything on it. From websites to talking to m.d.'s, the causes for miscarrige are usually linked to a chromosone problem or an unhealthy egg. Many women think that the "gla__s of wine" they drank caused their miscarrige per say when it really had nothing to do with that. OK... I am going off tangent here. Anyhow, to answer your question, I couldn't find any data to back up the notion that Ortho Evra is blamed for miscarriages. Hope this helps.

Elaine - I have a very loving husband who was in the room with me when the dr. could not find a heartbeat at 8 weeks. He too was in shock and was very dissapointed about the news. He was there with me the day I went for my D & C too and provided emotional support. But one thing that I can relate to you on is that they are so much more detached from the process than we are. The bottom line is that they do not know what it is like to physically and emotionally go through what we have to. We indure major changes in our bodies and have to grieve over it at the same time. This is a ma__sive overload for any woman going through a miscarriage. They on the other hand are not intuned with it and thus give us the "we'll try again soon honey" response. I don't think they are trying to not be supportive, I just believe that this is the way men know how to show it (with exceptions of course). Be easy on your hubby and take any support he gives.... even if it is not your ideal way. :-)

Cristina- Thanks, that does help. I talked to my dr about it and she said there was no link. The only way that it could ever cause any problems is if you were on any kind of birth control during pregnancy. I was extra cautious during my pregnancy because I had to take a non normative development cla__s during college and they tell you everything that could possibly go wrong in a pregnancy, so of course I tried to avoid EVERYTHING. My mother-in-law keeps bringing up things that may have caused this that usually are linked back to something i would have done. (as if I haven’t been through enough already) And the patch was her latest reason and I was curious if anybody else had heard of this because supposedly she heard is from an ER nurse. But thanks again!

Well I went back to the doctor's today. He said that there was no heartbeat and that the yolk sac had gotten bigger. I will miscarry within the week. I am to wait for that to happen. I was told it was so small a d&c will not be necessary. I am 9 weeks today. Any thoughts?

Amy- Sorry for your news, I just went through the same thing. I was 8 wks, and 4 days, and I had a DNC done. There was no pain with it, hardly any bleeding at all afterwards. It has been 1 week ago today, and I feel better each day. It's really up to you what you want to do, I chose the DNC over having a natural miscarrage or the pill or the shot. I was ready for closure, and to try again. I hope this helps, if not I'm sorry!

On my first round of Femara, I ended up getting pregnant. My husband and I went to our first appointment earlier this week and the doctor believed that because of my being on fertility meds that I'm not as far along as we expected. We thought I was just shy of 10 weeks when, after the exam, he said it looks like I'm more like 8 weeks. He insisted on a US and confirmed that the size of our peanut is about 8 weeks. The problem, much like everyone's here, is that there is no heartbeat. I go back in 2 weeks for another US and I will continue to do that until (a) I miscarry naturally or (b) I'm about 19 weeks, nothing has changed and I elect to go with the D&C. We're not giving up hope ~ we've heard many positive stories. I wish you all the best. I'm sorry we're all going through this, but I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

Kristen - I think that waiting a week or two for another sonogram is one of the best things you can do (I waited one week before getting a D & C). It gives you peace of mind which is what we all need going through this. Like all of us on this site, we only dream of reading a success story in this situation. Your positive att_tude is most defintiley the right one to have.... but it is also important to know that if you do not see a heartbeat at your next sono appointment, then you probably won't see one after that. Heart beats can actually be detected before 8 weeks so if you don't see anything at 10 weeks, unfortunatley I don't think you will see one at all. I wish you the very best of luck! You are in my thoughts along with everyone else going through this.

Well, I have posted several times on this site and I have an update. I had my D & C done on October 6th and I just took a pregnancy test which came out positive. It appears that I ovulated about 2 weeks after my D & C which should hopefully give you all some releif out there. I am going to go in this week to get bloodwork to confirm my pregnancy. I hope to goodness I don't miscarry again due to getting pregnant before my first cycle!

Congratulations, and you and your baby will be in my prayers.

KP - Thanks for the congrats but it may be too soon. My progesterone lab results came back extremely low. They think I am going to miscarry again. I go back on Monday (if nothing happens before then) to see if my levels have safely risen. Doesn't look good though. :-( I guess that is why the dr.'s recommend waiting.... so that your body can recuperate (i.e. make progesterone) so that you can carry a baby.

cristina~Didn't your doctor have any ideas like maybe progesterone supplements? If he knows they are low I would think he/she would at least suggest trying the supplement to see if it helps. I, myself, would call and request trying it. What would it hurt?

Kathy - My dr. did prescribe me progesterone supplements which I began taking last night. I return on Monday to get additional blood work to see if my levels have increased. I was curious to know if the supplements worked for anyone else with a very low level such as mine.