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Hello everyone. I feel for everyone who has recently gone in for their U/S recently and things are not going so well. Hang in there, my thoughts are with you all. Just three more days until my own follow-up U/S. I've been trying to steel myself for what seems to be the likely outcome, but can't help but still hang on to some hope. This pregnancy for us was unexpected, but very welcomed. I don't know what to do until then. I seem to keep spacing out at various times of the day just thinking about it. Funny how I really wanted to start a baby journal when I found out four weeks ago that I was pregnant, but somehow it never felt right to start until I was sure. And now all this waiting. Sorry everyone...just a little down today. I wish it was already Thursday. Becky - I'm sorry to hear about the out come of your test. Amanda - thank you for sharing. ~ Rain

Rain - don't ever apologize for feeling down. that's what we're here for xox

AMANDA--I'm so sorry you're going through this!! It sounds rough! It makes me feel like a D&C would be a quicker, less traumatic way out. . .maybe that's wimping out. . I don't know which is better for future pregnancies. My doc said that it doesn't matter. I'm going to call today and make sure that waiting another week for a D&C won't do any damage to my uterus---this little embryo will have just been sitting in there for 3+ weeks by then, doing nothing. . . I'm sending you lots of positive, healing vibes--you know you can take pain killers and Advil now, right? Good luck girlfriend! Hang in there!! ELAINE--I'm so glad you've stopped bleeding. I don't know if you saw my post some time ago about my college roommate. She had the same gloomy prognosis as us. . . slow heart rate, a week behind in development, AND bleeding. . . and when she went in a week later. . . a thriving baby!! She continued to bleed throughout her first 2 trimesters but had a perfectly healthy baby. There IS hope. I hoping you're our "sleeper" and are going to get the good news!! Please keep us posted. (when is your next u/s? Thursday?) Becky

What was your babies heart rate I think I am have the same problem. Mine was 117 and I am 6 weeks and 5day I went for an ultrasound yesterday and they said it seemed fine but then he rescheduled me for another ultra sound for Monday. I am so scared b/c I just miscarried a baby in December.

candalyn--I think your heartrate sounds fine! The heart probably just started beating at 6w5d. . that early if it's over a hundred, you're probably fine!! And that your doc didn't seem concerned is good. Don't borrow trouble. You're looking good!! Becky

Candalyn--I neglected to tell you want the hearttrate was for me. . 60-70bpm. MUCH lower than yours!

Becky - I agree with you that there is hope. I am getting a bit upset with my family - they have been telling me today "next time dont tell anyone untill your 3 months" Ok - I will be 3 months on Saturday - would that have made a difference. My reply was "well it's not dead yet." I hate to be so blunt but its true. I do believe that something could happen and the situation could turn around but realistically I am prepared and expecting the worst. Anything else is a blessing. I am not scheduled for an ultrasound again - is that not normal? I am just doing the Hcg tests. I think I will call the dr today and find out. I am so glad I found you guys!

ELAINE--ugggh! I'd be tweaked at my family too!! I told my family, friends, and even co-workers (I work for a small, intimate, family-like company) as SOON as I got my positive test--and I don't regret it at all. Whether I told them or not about being pregnant in the first place I would have been reaching out to them NOW for support--so why does it matter? It's like. . . what are you saying family?? That you wish I'd just kept this all to myself and not BURDENED you with this hearbreak and difficulty??? WTH?? Isn't that what family is for? Geez!! You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family! Don't hesitate to set them straight and tell them what you need out of them! My sister (we're pretty close) never called me in my stressful week of waiting--though she knew what was going on--and still, after yesterday's bad news hasn't even called. She sent me a one-line "so sorry" email. Less than I've gotten from you "friends" I've known for all of a week!! She's an oncology nurse but has never been good with dealing with personal death or loss. Oh well. We find our support where we can.. . We're here for you!! Becky

Lesley - just wanted to say thank you for the kind words. It feels good to be able to share with people that understand the situation. Odd that after the U/S last Thursday, I'm not sure that I feel any pregnancy symptoms anymore. I was never nauseated, but I did feel b___st tenderness and a growing belly. This week they seem strangely absent. I wonder if this is partly nerves?

Becky, don't be too hard on your sister. My mom is a nurse too, and sometimes it is hard for them to not play that role. She did not say thing I needed to hear either, like, "it's for the best, it wasn't meant to be". "better now than later in the pregnancy"...all the lines that make us want to say shut it. Unless, someone has been there, they have no clue, as to how it feels...little lone, what to say. I, too, didn't wait until 12 weeks to tell freinds, immediate family, and close co-workers. The word spread a little more than I wanted it too, but I am very glad I told the ones I did, they were very supportive when I was going through the miscarriage, and d & c. You start to find out many of these people went through the same thing. As for the miscarriage, my doc gave me pills to make me miscarry, I woke up in the night shaking like crazy, uncontrolablely. I then went into major contraction pains...severe...for most of the night. I ended up not pa__sing all the tissue and needed a d and c two weeks later (3 weeks after my baby had no heartbeat). The d and c was no problem, it was fast and only a little pain for the first hour after I woke up. By that evening, I felt normal. There is a minor risk of complications when you have a d and c, but I wish I had mine 3 weeks before I did, when no heartbeat was found. It was a long painful ordeal, that didn't need to be. This was my case, and everyone has a different experience. Elaiine, Becky and Amanda, I am so sorry for your losses. We are here for you.

I know alot of you have had miscarriages but i just wondered something.....my doctor told me i would have to be on birth control for 6 months after my D&C Thursday (I have a fear of being put to sleep too....ahhhhh) but anyhow i have read and for some of you it has not been 6 months for you or other people i know i dont want birth control thats why it took us 2 years to concieve this time...because i ws on it so long.....so can someone tell me why i would have to wait 6 long months to concieve again??????????????HELP!!!

BECKY: Sorry I'm just getting back to you~*~*~*My D&C was physically easy and hard emotionally. I took an en. the night before and no food after midnight. At the hospital they put me to sleep for the procedure. My understanding is that it much the same as an abortion BUT the tissue that is removed is not living ...this is a quote from my doctor. The tissue is suctioned out and in my case sent for testing. I bleed a decent amount while recovering at the hospital (2 hours) and in very small amount at home. I am still spotting (this is my 5th day since the D&C). I am not sore or uncomfortable. I have experienced some mild cramping. I opted for the D&C so they I wouldn't have to "wait" for a miscarriage and so that we can begin trying ASAP (the preg hormorne will leave my body sooner with a D&C). My doctor is worried about me waiting at 42. The D&C was a good choice for me. I am taking antbo. for 5 days 4 times per day to avoid infection. No baths (showers only), no intercouse or douches. My follow-up visit is on this Thurs.(1 week after the procedure). They will also test my blood for the preg hormone and watch it go down. Another good indication is getting your regular period again which means your body knows the baby does not exist anymore. With you Dr.'s OK you can begin trying again. ~*~*~*Reach out again if you have any other questions~*~*~* I'm hoping to post here again with a report of a new healthy pregnancy. I hope you will too. LOVE & HUGS.~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ PS I do think of my "Little One"...and I speak words of love to him (or her). I know your Little One feels "Mommy"s love too.

Teresa: I have no idea why the doctor wants you on birth control pills for 6 months. Please ask him or her to explain...then get a 2nd opinion ( on the BC pills for 6 months) from another GYN. If they both agree and explain to you and your husband's satisfaction why it is neccessary, then you are completely safe to follow their instructions. ~*~*~*~*~*Ladies (out there) do you agree with me?~*~*~*Lesley, let me know what you think.

Teresa - I am equally stumped - I don't see any need for a 6 month wait. i thought the only consideration was waiting for your beta / hcg levels to decrease, as well as letting your uterus heal. but I would have thought that 2 months or so would be sufficient. Hmmm....... Katie - thanks for sharing your experience like that. You are brave....

So trying out my gross question again: does anyone know why I would be experiencing (daily) *brown* spotting?

Rain - personally I believe we can will ourselves to feel different things, depending on how strongly we want it to be. How are you feeling today?