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Hi, I've just registered here and read some of your posts which seem very helpful and interesting. Well, let me tell you my story and please offer some advice or help if you can. I've 2 children and since I've had them I feel I haven't been the same person, after the children were born I had baby blues but no I wonder if that's all they were. During my 2nd pregnancy I started having panic attacks only in certain situations and a few months after she was born I was anxious and having more panic attacks which then went into depression and I took anti depressants for about 6 months and don't really feel the symptoms of depression any more. What I'm left with is the reoccurring harm thoughts towards my children (I'm crying while writing this), the thoughts wont leave me alone, only sometimes they're not as bad but they;re always there especially during stress. I've read somewhere that this could be OCD pure o, not like the standard OCD but one with just obsessive thinking and mostly harm thoughts. If anyone has been or is in a similar situation, please please offer some advice. I'm so scared that one day I will totaly lose my mind and act on those horrible thoughts. I want to love my children and enjoy them without any fear especially the fear of hurting them.
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There is a difference between baby blues and post partum depression. Baby blues go away after a couple of weeks, but if you are feeling like this you probably have postpartum depression. This is serious if left untreated. You MUST see your doctor immediately, for the sake of your children and yourself. Postpartum depression is highly treatable. I have known people who have had this and after being given the correct medication, they have become totally different people. It is unsafe to have harmful thoughts, you sound like you really want to be a great mom, and you can and will be. Please, go to your doctor without delay, they will treat you and you will feel like your old self in no time. Please keep us posted.
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Thanks for your replay, it's much appreciated. I don't think I suffer from post partum depression as I don't feel depressed and I didn't feel depressed after the baby was born, I only had the blues for say about 2 weeks. The child is almost 2 years old now and my troubles really hit me when the baby was about 1 year old. I've read trough some posts here after I posted my post yesterday and have come across a few posts of women suffering from harm thoughts and say it's actually OCD that they've developed. I might have some mild depression as I'm not sure my self but I
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but I definatelly don't feel depressed like I use to before. I actually feel happy most times, I just have the reoccuring thoughts bathering me and scaring me and I did say this to my counsillor and the doctor but they just put it down to stress.
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I'ld say you have OCD - there are several different types - and the thoughts of harming the baby are one type of it. The best thing is to get therapy for it and see your doctor asap. People with OCD do not act on their thoughts of harming the baby - the problem is they have a fear of their thoughts. I have contamination OCD which means I wash my hands lots of times etc but still feel they aren't clean. Its a very strange condition and is often linked to panic attacks. It can be treated with CBT thepary - the thepary is very hard work but its the way to get better. Good luck. Anti-depressants are also used to treat it.
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sany28, how are you doing now? did you find a doctor that can help you? i have found that "just a doctor" wont help. you have to find a doctor that specializes in postpartum conditions. as you can tell you are not alone with these unwanted frightening thoughts. help is available.
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