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Jessie, perhaps this is a type of OCD brought on post-pardum, or worsened by it. I'm sure you don't want to mention these thoughts to your doctor, or you wouldn't be on here asking, but maybe you could fashion the question in a different way for them to help you. If you're concerned how you will come across, tell them you're having repet_tive thoughts running through your head (every day things that could pose a danger such as forgetting to turn off your curling iron) and you feel as though you want to get these constant thoughts in check. They might be able to prescribe something temporarily that could let you get back to feeling more normal. I would say consider this at the least. If you feel more comfortable, open up and tell them what's going on, although I know that probably sounds scary to you. But if there is a helpful solution that could get you feeling like your old self, it's worth a try. Congrats on your little girl. Post back and let me know how things are going.

It sounds to me like PPD, you really need to talk to your OB. Even though you would never act on them, they can still be damaging and bring on feelings of guilt that can make things even worse. I am sure your doctor has heard it all before and can prescribe something to help you through this. Alot of times it takes several months for signs of PPD of arise. They actually have a test they can administer that red flags women that may be having a problem. It is just a questionaire, and if I remember correctly, it only takes a few minutes to complete. It is done in office and the doctor reviews it immediately. Take care of yourself.

What sort of "intrusive" thoughts are you talking about? Thoughts like "oh it's so hard being a mother, she's such a pain sometimes" or thoughts more like you want to shake her when she won't stop crying, or envisioning yourself hurting her? Either way I think you probably need to talk to a dr, as they say PPD can occur ANYTIME, even 6 or 8 months after birth.

I do the same thing....I would NEVER hurt my child or do anything bad to anyone but I have thoughts sometimes of hurting my baby or hurting someone...I did this while I was pregnant too and I have NEVER been this way before. It has got to do with hormones I think. I just ignore the thoughts and go on. It freaks me out though

The same exact thing happened to me a few days ago while I was holding my boy. He is now 5 months old. I was terrified by the thought that crossed my mind because I would never ever want anything bad to happen to him. It just keeps going over and over in my head and I can't seem to turn it off. The thing that helps me is saying, " it is just a sentence that is haunting me. It is not a feeling or a 'want'. "

Exactly! My little boy is 8 weeks now and I really don't have those thoughts anymore. I swear it has something to do with the state we're in after giving birth and stuff...just with hormones. Hormones can really effect a person. I found what helped me is everytime I would think something bad I would just stop and pray for God to help me. The devil loves for us to struggle and break but if we turn to GOd for help we will be just fine.

Jessie - What you've got is definately OCD and it a very common time to get it after a baby. It can be very hard to stop the thoughts by yourself (may people can't do it alone) so you may well need thepary and/or medication - a doctor can arrange both of these, just stress you would never hurt the baby. The therapy will teach you to think this is just a thought I must just let it pa__s and do not to respond to the thought by hiding knives etc as this will just make you believe the thought is true and you'll get more thoughts. Good luck getting better.

Nurs2b21 i agree w/ you. the same thing helped for me. i just had to realize that i don't own those thoughts & i KNOW they do not come from me. it is just evil. Jessiejes, you will be fine. don't let it consume you and look for help or people to talk to, don't feel like it is not normal.

i have ocd and frequently have thoughts like this. just know that people who behave the way you are thinking you would like to don't have the wherewithall to know that they are wrong. you know these thoughts are not who you are and you know you would never act on them (people with ocd rarely if ever do) but you have to talk about them. find someone safe, that you trust, preferably a therapist of some sort, who wont fly off the deep end with fear thinking that you might do something dangerous. a professional knows that you wont and can help you deal with the affect these thoughts are having on your life. it does get better. they do go away. hang in there. uncontrolable thoughts are still only thoughts. if you find that you are getting frustrated and need a__sistance then dont be afraid to get it. youre a good mom.

I had my DS 8 days ago. He is my 6th child. My other 5 children were so easy to have and afterwards I had no problems whatsoever. Well new baby seems to have done something to me. I to have been suffering with intrusive thoughts and carrying out obsessive rituals to avoid the fears I have been having. This all started about 3 days after I brought him home. Now, I did have a small version of OCD before (phobia of germs) and such but never had anything so dibilitating. My family has been great support and my mother has come 200 miles to be here for me.....which has helped a great deal. My husband and other children are being very supportive and are helping me with the baby. These thought have caused me to WANT to avoid my baby in fear. I haven't avoided him completely but I have been more willing to let others share in caring for him. 3 days ago I visited my OB and she prescribed me Clozenpam (sp?) It is an anti-anxiety drug. It has helped me a great deal to be able to bond more with my beautiful baby boy. However, it hasn't "cured" me........I do know that I will survive this cuz I refuse to let anything come between my bond with my beautiful children......There is light at the end of the tunnel.......and the scary part for me is....when is the tunnel gonna end?

Wow momo6munchkins, I'm impressed! Although I'm the youngest of 6 I could never imagine having the wherewithall to have 6 children...good stuff. You're having cla__sic PPocd symptoms. When the anxiety starts to lessen you will be less inclined to 'avoid' your lovely son, but giving in to avoidance tactics does seem to prolong the whole thing I think. However, exposing yourself to the things that make you anxious can make you even more anxious.....I think you have to do what you can cope with, ask for help and support so that time will help to lessen the anxiety.

Justine1 I was wondering If i could talk to you a bit more about knowing how to overcome the fears of OCD like hiding the knives and avoiding my daughter in fear. DO you have any advice for me?

m_sweetgurl - The best thing to do is to talk to your doctor and tell them you think you have OCD. The 2 usual ways of treating OCD are either medication and/or therapy - CBT therapy. The therapy teaches you not to respond to the thoughts - you just get the thought and think that this is an OCD thought thats all. You should not get a thought I'll harm my baby then say hide knives because then your OCD tells you see you hid the knives you must be dangerous and it escalates. Its an extremely hard problem to treat because of the mind games OCD plays but it is curable and can be beaten. The therapy is very tough because it goes against your OCD logic but its got a high success rate.

I had these horrific thoughts about hurting my beautiful baby too. As scary as the thoughts are, you must trust that these are only words in your head and you will act upon them unless you choose to. I would accept the thought, not allow it to be stronger than me, then let it go by totally distracting myself with singing a song in my head. It may be postpartum psychosis, but definately forget the "evil", "devil" stuff and talk to your OB/GYN. I am totally convinced that is completely hormonal, exactly in what way, there's no clear link b/c research isn't being done as it should be. But there must be links among us; So, let's all look for answers here. My sister had this only with her daughter, not her son and I only had one baby, a girl and was 26yrs. . I also b___stfed until 3 mos. and continued to leak a drop or so here and there for two years after I stopped nursing her! Let's help ourselves and all our sisters out there to follow. We should send this questionnaire to every woman we know and post answers to all these questions. God knows, it's going to be up to us to make some headway. 1)Did we have a history of premenstrual, PMS, or ovarian probs before the pregnancy? Like what? 2) Did we have an emotionally erratic pregnancy? 3) How many children did we have before this one? 4) Postpartum issues with other pregnancies? 5) When did the thoughts start? 6) Have any of us acted in the slightest way on these thoughts (you're not alone if you did, we can't help each other if we're not honest, right?) 7) How many close calls have you had? 8) Did your s_x drive/s_x life resume? 9) How long after? 10) Was this pregnancy a boy or girl? 11) Do you know of anyone who has seriously hurt their baby within the first year? 12) Did you know that England and Canada give women way more understanding in this area than the U.S.? 13) Did birth control (the pill) help after these thoughts started? 14) What has everyone's doctors said about how the antianxiety meds actually work for this specific problem? 15) What are our age ranges during this? 16) Did any of use hormone replacement therapy? 17) Has anyone had good results with herbal or wholistic /alternative medicine stuff? 18) Has anyone gotten in trouble with the law for reporting these thoughts (my big fear)? 19) Did we have a major life event or stressor at any point in the pregnancy, even the first trimester (I did)? 20) What foods did we eat a lot of during pragnancy (mine were kosher dill pickles, milk (my lactose intolerance was no problem then) and lots of bread stuff (actually, lots of bleached flour products now that I think about it). Have I left anything out? Please respond everyone and pa__s it around to all women we know so we can make some real good come from this. I would like to have another baby, but I'm kind of scared that the next will be worse w/postpartum issues.