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My husband is in the Air Force, so I can relate to the overseas thing. Although he hasn't been to Iraq or anywhere else for that matter since we've been married (Dec. 25th makes a year and a half), he is scheduled to go in May, when our son will be only 5 months old (I am being induced tonight). It's definitely hard considering that I'm still very young (19) and will now have a newborn. It upsets me to know that he will miss a crucial part of our son's life, and I know that it upsets him as well. My parents live 20 miles away (Chris has been stationed here since he got out of Tech School, and my hometown is where we met), but it doesn't seem to make the situation any easier. Yes, I know that my family will be here for me when I need them, but it doesn't make it easier. I already suffer from depression, so Chris leaving ME will be hard enough, let alone him also having to leave his son. If you need someone to talk to, just reply back. By the way, when is your husband due to come home?

My husband is Army Natl Guard and is currently doing pre-deployment training out-of-state and will ship to Iraq at the end of March. He has been on active duty status since May 2003, training and working missions here in our hometown. Now, we are going to have to go through this deployment :( Our son is 7 weeks old. My hubby was able to come home for his birth ONLY b/c I sent a Red Cross message saying that there were complications b/c baby was breech and I needed a c-section. A Red Cross message could work for you guys too so that he could come home for the birth --- you will need to be compelling though -- don't tell them that you'll be fine if he can't come. Or...have you met your Family Readiness Group leader...your FRG can be a great link to your husband's chain of command and also advocate for you. Are you on a large post? If so, the FRG group may also have another wife in your same situation. I know it hurts so much personally, and I don't like it when people tell me "oh, there are so many stories like yours" but it can help to have someone to vent with. Our lives are being turned upside down :( I am moving home to live with my parents on the East Coast WOW, married with a baby and I'm moving to live with the folks but I need all the help I can get. Saying that, if people offer help -- accept it!! Accept pre-made meals during that first month after the baby, ACCEPT someone you trust to hold the baby for a half hour while you take a shower and gobble something down to eat. I cry almost everyday...from burn out, from missing my husband, from looking at our precious baby and knowing he is missing out. I received a DVD video recorder from my awesome in-laws for Christmas so that I can send hubby DVDs of the baby while he's in the sandbox. It is very hard, please don't get too discouraged. Military wives are the strongest women out there! You are doing the best for your family and your baby. Please let me know too if you need someone to talk too.

thank you all for your support, sometimes I hate being a army wife, its nice to know that there is some ladys out there that know what I am going through, it is so hard sometimes!! I hate it

Marine wife here....iraq twice now and i can totally feel you....it sucks even thought we knew this was part of the job it dosent mean we have to like it im sure he is just as upset as you mine was a wreck !!! Just remember that we all feel that way i was alone for my first son too and its even harder than one can explain! it helps talking with other wifes ...my email is audramorris22@yahoo....if you ever want to talk.... tons of respect to you both God bless and congrats on the baby!

Dear Jennifer, I too am pregnant. A week after we found out of his deployment, we found out we were expecting our first child. I'm seven months now and he's been gone almost the whole time. It's been hard and honestly I don't know how I've made it this far. I'm going to see him for a week before he has to go over to Iraq for a year. He won't be able to come home for the birth and this scares me. I am having trouble dealing with all this lately and don't know what to do. I feel like no one understands. So it's nice to know there are other girls like you out there. Mabe we can help each other through.

I am an Air Force wife - my husband left on a TDY - a week later I found out I was pregnant. (this was a few years ago) It was DEFINATELY not easy. No family near by, but i was lucky enough to have one friend to rely on. And rely on her, I did! Seems every day I was upset and crying and felt like I just couldn't do it. Just take it one day at a time - which is all you can do anyway... And soon the day when he returns will upon you! Look to friends, support groups, on line - keep yourself busy and the time will go by faster. Best of luck!!!

Well, I dont have a husband in the army or is military or anything, but I can understand how you feel about him not being there. My bf was locked up since I was a month pregnant, we found out while he was locked up. I am 7 months pregnant now, and he was going to come home a week ago, but they found some more charges against him so he might be facing another year. He is going to miss the birth of our son and probably the most important part of our child's life, his first year. Im praying that he isnt given that much time, and can come home soon.

I too can relate to your story. I'm an air force wife and my husband was deployed to Iraq two months after we found out I was pregnant with our first baby. While he didn't make it home for the delivery - Red Cross was able to reach him in time to call so he heard the first cries as our son entered the world a little over a year ago. He was 6 weeks when my husband saw him for the first time. Now, less than a year after he got home, he's back in the sandbox. AND as luck would have it, I'm pregnant again. He won't make it home to see baby #2 either. So believe me when I say I understand what you are going through. I don't have wonderful words of wisdom to share about how I got through it - I'm not even sure how it happened. You just have to take it day by day and hope that tomorrow is better. Do try the Red Cross route - but don't hold out a lot of hope. My pregnancy's are high risk due to being a diabetic since I was a child and though we tried to get him home because of this - unless you or the baby are in immediate, imminent danger, your request will be denied. Red Cross requires a doctor's written declaration and explaination of dangers before they'll bring anybody home. For me - the Family Support Center was the most helpful. They deal with issues like this all the time and can usually put you in touch with somebody that has gone through exactly what you are going through. Although nothing is as good as having your hubby by your side, you will be thankful to have anybody by your side when the time comes. I wish you the best of luck in finding a support system that works for you!

army wife here also. MY husband was in korea for a year too..then home for 8 months and sent to iraq when i was 3 months pregnant, hes supposed to be home for the birth..and then gone for another 6 months or so. IM worried about post pardom depression...

I'm an Air Force wife- our baby is 11 weeks old. I was lucky enough to have my husband here for most of the pregnancy and the birth. But for military spouses who's husbands are deployed most public hospitals (if you aren't being seen at the base hospital) will provide a doula for your delivery free of charge. Look into it- they can be a wonderful help for moms, for emotional support through the entire labor, physical pain relief- ma__sage, and helping to faciliate the first b___st feeding. There is no reason for you to be alone- even if he is gone. If your local hospital doesn't provide the doula look into Operation Special Delivery, at their web site http://www.operationspecialdelivery.com/ Good luck to you! You will do great- us military brides are good stock- tough girls who can make it through anything!

Hi ladies. I am not a military wife, but was a military brat and still live at the largest base in the country. I can tell you from a childs point of view, that even though my father was gone often (year in Korea, gulf war, NTC, weeks at a time in the field, etc), I never felt like he missed out on my childhood. I was always thrilled when he came home, and it was easy to forget he had ever been gone. I loved getting letters while he was gone, and writing him back. I still have some of the stuffed animals he would bring home from his trips away. I knew he wanted to be with me, and never felt like he was that far. I have heard many military wives joke that while they thought deployments were hard at first, after awhile it got to be so that the husbands got shipped off just when they were getting annoyed with them! I have seen that military wives are very strong women, and they often find light in dark situations. Thank you for supporting our soldiers. You are an important part of the force that doesnt often get enough recognition.