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my son is 11 months old and i still feel irritated inpatient angry and frustrated. sometimes i get so mad i just want to take my baby and run away. i use to have thoughts like what if i get him out of the bath and drop him and it gets more explicit from there i would never want to hurt my son but sometimes i just think about what could happen my husband and i are very emotionaly removed from each other but are trying to work it out. i feel sad and lonely all the time and am constintely grinding on all my past hurts i am angry all the time. i have heart palpatations and racing heart sometimes my chest hurts so bad i cant breathe like a really bad anxiety or panic attack. what is wrong with me? i just want to feel normal. and love my son
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Sounds like PPD to me. I know exactly how you feel, but I lived with it for years. It started with my oldest daughter, who is 7 now, it got worse with my second, who is 5. I finally went to the Dr. and said I couldn't handle things anymore on my own when my 3rd dd was 6 months old last March. He was very nice and told me I didn't have to live like this anymore. I've been on Effexorfr7monthsI am feeling so much better. I tried to go off on my own for a couple of weeks just to see if it was the med that was making me feel better or maybe it was me. It is the med that is making me feel better. I have had to come to terms with that and it is hard, I really do hope to wean myself off of this drug when I am ready to handle things on my own again, but for now I have accepted the help this medication gives me. You should consider talking to your Dr., you don't have to live like this anymore, there are options to help you.
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sweetybaby1, read my post called "thought I had ppd..." I also had heart palpitations, racing heart, sweating, anxiety, etc. It was real physical stuff and I thought it was all stress and worry. It ended up being my thyroid which also can cause the same symptoms of ppd. Just an idea...
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I suspect this is postpartum OCD - the one you have a fear that you will hurt your baby. These are just thoughts (fears) though that go through your head not things you will do. What I would recommend doing is going to a doctor and getting a professional a__sessment asap. If it is OCD then the best way forward is either CBT therapy and/or meds. Hope things get better for you soon.
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